do i have to listen to him?

Question

my boyfriend wants me to have an abortion and if i dont then he is going to kick me out since i live with him
but i dont no what to do im not really ready to have a kid but i am willing to take care of my responseabilities

Answer 1

You don't have to do what he says, but you need to think about the implications of having that kid. I'm not talking a few months down the road either...I'm talking decades.

1. You're clearly NOT ready. The father clearly doesn't want it, and you sound like you'll only go through with it because you see your own kid as a big mistake that you now have a duty to suffer for. Any kid that doesn't have parents who want it is going to have a miserable life. Are you willing to sentence your child to a life where it feels unwanted? Those are the seeds of raising a future criminal that's going to add to our overloaded prison system.

2. If you have the kid, that's it. Your social life is over. Your life will be all about that child, 24/7/365. It won't end. Every day, baby baby baby. The expenses, the worries, the neverending attention that it needs. These daily burdens will change as the years go on, but you'll have to be a nonstop mom for 18 YEARS! Think about that....the next 18 years of your life. Are you ready for that? Will you grow to despise your child for taking away your freedom? Would your child feel the pain of your resentment towards it?

If you don't want that baby 150%, then save it from a life of pain and have the abortion. Either that, or give it up for adoption and don't look back.

Answer 2

You do not have to listen to him because the only person that will carry the emotion of whatever decision you make will be you. I speak from experience. Even though the "problem" will go away (the baby or the boyfriend) the consequence of either action never will. I totally support your right to chose what to do with your body but know this is not a quick fix. Are you open to adoption? That would be a hard choice too but you are giving someone an opportunity to be a great parent. I wish you the best in your decision.

Answer 3

If you're not really ready to have a kid, how can you be willing to take care of your responsibilities? I believe there are places for women and their children at major cities, they are certain kinds of shelters. If you are serious about keeping your child, then you could look them up. Or you could let the child be adopted out; many women have done this so that their child could live a better life than they could give them. Good luck.

Answer 4

Whatever you choose to do (and choice is the operative concept here) it sound like you'd be better off without this guy. Any man who would kick you out for having his baby is a complete loser.

Back to the choice thing. It is YOUR body and YOUR choice. He cannot force you to have an abortion. Nobody can make this choice for you. You'll need to do some soul-searching to decide what you want to do and what's best for your situation. Obviously, adoption is another option. Call on family and friends for emotional support and, if possible, a place to stay until you get on your feet without the loser.

Answer 5

How old are you and does your family know? Does this b/f support you or can you pay your own way? Abortion is a woman's choice and right. I'm pro-choice (NEVER had one and won't ever) but he obviously doesn't want the child because he's not facing up to his responsibilities. It is YOUR decision ultimately...you are not married and if he is saying DO IT - whether he says that or not, it's YOUR body. Good luck to you.
P.S. NO you don't have to do whatever he says. If your family knows, go to them for support and dump the loser. You probably won't get one penny of child support from him either since he is rejecting thechild already.

Answer 6

first i think perhaps you need to get shot of said boyfriend. he doesnt sound very nice.

then once your out of the house you need to make a decision for you (obviously time is a factor). if you feel you need to have an abortion then thats what you need to do.

but i wouldnt make the decision just so you could stay with this not very nice boyfriend of yours.

being a single mum is hard but with the right support and some positive, caring people around im sure you could do it.

regardless, at this time you need some good people around you whatever choice you make.

best of luck to you. my thoughts are with you. :)

Answer 7

Let me preface this by saying that I am Pro-Life, whether people agree with me or not. There are always places to go, all you have to do is ask a hospital, church, police, they have references of safe places for you to go.
You only have a responsibility to not kill your kid. Adoption is always an option and a very loving one since you admit that you are unable to handle a child at this point. I wish you the very best of luck, and pray you will make the best decision for your precious baby.

Answer 8

You need to leave that jerk. If he is willing to kill something that he helped produce, then he is not a man. Find a family member to talk you in. I you dedide not to have the baby there are many many people who have been waiting to have a baby for a long time.. jUST THINK OF IT AS a gift you can give to make some other family happy.

Answer 9

The choice is yours. But if you were really ready for this huge responsibility you would not have to ask. Good Luck!

Answer 10

if its his baby..then i guess he has a say so but yur the mother and its you that is carrying the baby so you make the choice..and if hes gonna kick you out for having a kid then hes an *** whole and you deserve better and if its not his then thats yur problem and u should keep the baby no matter what!!!..u will regret it..good luck