What is the best way to keep rubber duckies from swarming?

Question

This is the time of year when rubber duckies seem to want to swarm. It has become a real nuisance with them flying in large clusters. Some so large that they seem to block out the sun! And the pooh they leave in their wake is such a bother to clean up.
I know how to prevent bees from swarming but the duckies got me stumped!

Answer 1

Get out your shotgun,

Answer 2

Firstly - identify gender - if they are lady duckys then the answer is simple - pin a picture of young Fabio to a wall somewhere safe - this will draw them all into one place and keep them relatively quite.

If they are male duckys (Not that you can tell the difference - or you would have avoided the whole egg incident!) select the most adorable little ducky from the Fabio gallary and use her as a lure - it will work in much the same way, but make sure she is safe from her swooning suitors!!!

Answer 3

Play David Hasselhoffs CDs, the tones in his voice cause auditory stress in the duckies and they leave in a big hurry.
I recommend track 8. "If I Could Only Say Goodbye" on his self titled CD.
Of course that does mean you will have to admit to owning some of his "music" but if you really want those rubber duckies gone this is the only sure fire humane way to make them leave.

Answer 4

The best solution is to spit in the duck's eyes. Their eyes are allergic to human spit, and by spitting in their eyes, you will permantly damage their sight. This will prevent them from flying.

Answer 5

find some rubber hawks haha

Answer 6

Put out bathtubs full of water, they can't resist it.

Answer 7

Aww... poor girl. Take you're rubber duckies out of the tub! DUH.