First of all she has Lupus and her emotions are linked to it. So the whole family avoids agreuments with she and I think she knows this, so she takes advanage and uses it againt us and it really makes me mad. Yesterday we go into a very heated argument (most of the time I bit my tunge) and she never wants to admit that she is wrong and if you dont agree with her she get upsent and make me feel like I was wrong and that regarles what I say am wrong and she is always right. And according to other family members they feel the same. How can I handle her with out making her upset.
2006-07-27 12:17:52 · 18 answers · asked by Sheny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You're going to have to always keep your temper when you're around her; if you get angry, it'll all be your fault, not hers anyway. The question is what is your personal philosophy on people? Do you feel that they can change? What benefit would it be for you to be right and for her to be wrong? You have to ask yourself if it's worth it to be right even though you are right. Unfortunately for you it's a difficult situation because you obviously care about her and love her otherwise you wouldn't worry about making her upset. It sounds like you want to keep the family together. If you didn't care, then you would just try to avoid her and not talk to her or move away so you wouldn't have to see her anymore. If she has Lupus then maybe there are some neurological problems underlying her anger. That doesn't make her right. She probably doesn't even know she has a problem with anger and illogical thinking. Maybe you should persuade her to talk to her doctor about what the family thinks and he could look into the possiblity of prescribing some medicine for her. It's a bad situation all around, and I sympathize with you .. there aren't any easy answers here, and I'm afraid I haven't been much help.
2006-07-27 12:26:36 · answer #1 · answered by ♪ ♫ ☮ NYbron ☮ ♪ ♫ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Do nothing. Have some compassion for her because of her condition and wait, when
she see people avoiding her she will come to an end of things. Perhaps her condition
may be causing some of her reactions and this may be how she's coping with it. talking
with someone who understand and she trusts can alleviate her knowing it all. I also
have this problem and it is a long process to accomplish. Good luck.
2006-07-27 12:31:54 · answer #2 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At age 20 people do know everything.
By 30 however, they realize they don't know it all, but by 40
people have in fact learned it all again. Because your sister is 37
she is 3 years from knowing everything. Fortunetly Alzheimer's
sets in by 41 and she will be easy to live with.
Smile, and be good to your family...best as you can.
2006-07-27 12:25:34 · answer #3 · answered by harPOON capt uss TANG 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of disagreeing with her right away, just acknowledge her point first and make sure she understands that you heard what she was saying. Repeat back to her or paraphrase what she just said, and ask her if you understood her correctly. Then say something like, "That's a good point," or "I understand what you're saying," or "That's a good idea." After you do that, she might not get so defensive about whatever you want to say, even it contradicts her.
2006-07-27 12:25:44 · answer #4 · answered by rollo_tomassi423 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore her. Just tell her it doesn't matter or the argument isn't worth fighting over. Tell her you want to agree to disagree and walk away. She'll look like the loser for trying to pick the fight on.
Other than that, I wouldn't talk to her much. She might be your family but SHE needs to treat YOU like a sister before you talk to her again. (When I say talk, I mean like sisters. Casual chatting is not included.)
2006-07-27 12:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kats 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who have Lupus or not, when someone feels they are always right, let them. Most likely it's information one cannot use, so discard it. I usually let the other person 'think' I agree just to shut them up.
2006-07-27 12:25:19 · answer #6 · answered by D L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
without getting her upset, maybe you need to speak to your sister in good terms. tell her how you fill and maybe she just might think twice. if that doesnt work. get something that you know that you can show her the truth. i have 2 brothers and they are always right no matter what. i sat with them and told them my feelings about how they should not be all that. or tell your sister to train you how to be all that and try to beat her games.
2006-07-27 12:31:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's easy. You cannot change her so simply change yourself. Get along with her by not starting an arguement or stopping one before it begins by agreeing with her. You don't have to take her seriously if you don't think she's not right and stubborn to begin with. You both win. She's always right and you don't care. Your pride is your biggest problem now.
2006-07-27 12:24:54 · answer #8 · answered by thedeepkiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calmy explain that she may be right - for her, but not right for you. What I mean is -- you can't convince someone like this that they are wrong - so just let her be right in her eyes and then do what you feel is right in your opinion. It will all shake out in the end.
2006-07-27 12:22:24 · answer #9 · answered by legacy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because she is sick, you cannot treat her differently. Tell her you love her but you are beginning to resent her for how she treats you. Tell her that she isn't always right and when you do not agree with her, you will tell her. It is the best thing you could do for her...
2006-07-27 12:22:10 · answer #10 · answered by chihuahuas2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋