My husband and I have Two girls of our own, ages 12 and 8. When I was 25 I had to have a hysterectomy. We decided to become foster parents so we could have more children. We have been foster parents for a total of 8 years before deciding to adopt. We adopted two little girls and we are very thankful for them, but I have wanted another baby for the past 6 years. The agencies that we have worked with, only had older children. We do not have the money to adopt a child threw an adoption agency and the state says that they dont have any babies that need homes. Having a baby is all I can think about and it is making me crazy. I feel empty inside and cant seem to do anything that helps. Does anyone have any suggestions?
2006-07-27 12:01:12 · 11 answers · asked by Vi 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
I would keep my name on the agency's list in case other young babies become available in the future. Also, maybe you should find some hobbies to find self-worth outside of children.
2006-07-27 12:05:21 · answer #1 · answered by The Big Shot 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the emptiness comes from something else. I can understand the feeling of wanting a baby. I'm 45 and I have one child who is now 15. I had breast cancer 9 years ago and that ended any hopes of my having another child because my cancer was fed by hormones. I'm not a pysychologist but I think I would try and concentrate on what you do have and explore your feelings of why you feel so empty. My sister and her husband tried for years to have their own child but nothing worked so they did adopt. They also had the money to do so and I understand that is not an option for you. I believe everything happens in our lives for a reason. The fact that you have been foster parents is a great accomplishment. You have two girls that will be approaching puberty and believe me will take a toll on you at times. The teenage years are very difficult especially in these times with all the promiscuity. They both are going to need your undivided attention. I hope I've helped a little. Take care.
2006-07-27 19:17:27 · answer #2 · answered by jeanhall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm so sorry about your situation. that's a very wonderful thing for you to do, being a foster parent. i can't tell you how many kids i knew growing up (in the system) that didn't have a place to go and didn't have anyone to care what happened to them when they turned 18... i hope this isn't an offensive thing to say, but have you considered getting a puppy or another kind of cuddly pet? i know it's not the same thing as having a baby, but sometimes just that extra love around and having someone else to take care of may help until you can figure something out. maybe adopting one from a shelter? good luck and best wishes.
2006-07-29 01:06:36 · answer #3 · answered by .*AnNa*. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 2 boys I went through a pregnancy in which the docters had no choice but to let him die. At 8 months I went through enforced labour and birth. After that my husband who was not pleased at a third baby in the first place definately wanted no more. We are now almost through another pregnancy and he is delighted to be a dad again.
No-one can know what the future can hold.
Unless it was to save your own life you were very young for something so permanent as a hysterectomy.
That feeling doesn't leave but you are able to deal with it. Yours is made worse by the fact taht there is no possibility ever again for a child. Even after having to go through a procedure that ended the life of my son while in my womb, even with that guilt and anguish, I always knew that some day I may want to try again even though I didn't at the time.
2006-07-29 09:23:44 · answer #4 · answered by dragonaotearoa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. Not being able to have a baby when you want on so badly is very hard. Maybe you and your husband can talk to family members and have them to take your husbands sperm and ferilize on of your female relatives eggs. That way the baby will already be related to you and then you and your husband can have a blood-related baby. Or you can ask your doctor is there any way that the doctor could take an egg from out of you and fertilize you.
Eitheir way I wish you and our husband the best of luck.
2006-07-27 19:15:24 · answer #5 · answered by baby gurl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im so sorry about the way your feeling! My husband and I tried for 5 years before getting pregnant.We have a 3 1/2 year old son. We are very great full. It was very hard for us to get pregnant and we didnt think we could...ANYWAY- I would be so willing to carry a baby for you or anyone wanting a baby. I have thought about this for a while and never really sure on how to go about it. I just know what I went through and I would never want anyone to have to go through something that is that heartbreaking. My pregnancy was prefect no problems. Please e-mail me if you want to talk..
2006-07-27 21:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sandie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever considered surrogacy? This is such a touchy subject and I feel for you. My husband and I tried years to conceive and ultimately had to undergo IVF. Surrogacy might be much cheaper than adopting? I've never adopted so please don't mark my word, but with another's egg and your husband's sperm, it could be your little miracle! Do try listing your name at several agencies...that might help open the door a bit more to an infant....All the best to you and your family!
2006-07-27 19:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by A hardworking American 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start expanding ur horizon and look internationally they have more babys over seas that need parents then americans do if not go thru a private adoption if u know a person that is having a baby run an ad or something it might be heplful good luck
2006-07-27 19:06:19 · answer #8 · answered by spoyledmama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you have a full hysterectomy, or do you still have your ovaries? If so, you could have your eggs harvested and have an IVF baby with a surrogate mother. You wouldn't be able to carry the baby, obviously, but it would be your and your husband's baby genetically.
2006-07-27 21:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start looking for a woman who is going to be having one soon who is willing to give you her baby and adopt him/her out to you at birth.
2006-07-27 20:25:46 · answer #10 · answered by caseyschik2004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋