please,i need some more good advice.What advice should i give to my friend about her situation?

Question

I have a 40 year old lady friend,who is dating a 34 year old large man,who she said makes her sick.She says she doesn't like heavy men,but he takes good care of her.He even gives money to her kids,who doesn't live with her.He has his own house,but he spends most of his time at her house and acts like he doesn't want to go home .He gets paid today,so she told me that she is going to treat him like a boyfriend today.He has a key to her place,so he comes in and out when he wants to.He works 10 to 12 hours a day and doesn't have much time for her,but she says he's not even her type.Her kids likes him,because he gives them money,and her sons wants her to give him a chance.He even asked her to marry him,but she haven't answered him,yet.She's like me(from a foreign town).So she doesn't have any friends here,so she gets lonely when he's not around,but she wants him to leave.If it all sounds confusing,it is,to me and her.I don't know what to tell her.

Answer 1

i like that story

have you considered journalism, honestly

Answer 2

I think you have to tell her the truth - in the most brutal way possible. Purely because - her greed for money- stands to hurt and disrupt not only this mans life, but her kids as well. If she gets lonely there are alto of clubs and places, at her local church, community cent re etc she can join - especially for mums looking to get away.
How will she feel if she marries this man - and then true love comes her way? Will she have an affair? destroy and hurt more people , in her pursuit for nice things?
Speak up now, if not for the man - who has worked hard, and earned his money - but for her children, this will teach them the wrong lessons - and could be emotionally terrible for them - if it goes wrong and has things like divorce come into play. and by the sounds of that situation - that's a strong possibility.

Answer 3

Well, tell her to tell the guy that she wants to take things slowly. Because she at least cares about the guy enough to want to spend time with him rather than be alone. that is understandable, and she should tell him that she isn't attracted to him in the way he wants her to be-yet. But that she may or may never be in the future. If this guy is really such a great guy except for the weight issue then one day she might just look at him differently. He could prove to be a jerk & tell her goodbye if she says this, but if he actually cares about her (which he da** well better if he asked her to marry him) then he should stick around & accept being her friend for awhile. Good luck to you & her.

Answer 4

If she honestly doesn't like him, she needs to dump him. She shouldn't be leading him on that way. He doesn't know that she can't stand him. That's like a hobo saying, "Here's twenty dollars. I've got money and I'll take care of you." and then the lady takes him in.

Who cares if the guy promises to take care of her? I've met people who married a person they didn't like and they said that they wished they wouldn't of been so weak to turn the guy down. In the end, they can't back out of the marriage and say that if any woman is in a position like they were then to dump the person b4 its 2 late.

This lady still has time, but its running out.

Answer 5

Well it is not your place to say or do anything. If she doesn't like him, I'd get rid of him myself instead of having another male doing it for me, dont want to get urself caught up in her drama. Shes a golddigger and that is not even cool to play this man along when he is being a man to her. He carries feelings for her and she doesn't, thats cold. Tell her that there is nothing you can do but be a friend and you wont put urself in her business. Let her take care of it herself.

Answer 6

He sounds like a realy nice guy! She should end this charade before she really hurts this guy....He doesnt deserved to be used this way...She should be ashamed of her self. Tell her to stop being a coward and tell him that she doesnt think this relationship will work. She sounds like she is just hanging on to him for companionship until someone else comes along.
Shes the type that gives us women all a bad name....
Tell her to wake up to her self....
Why is it that women like that always end up with the nice guys?

Answer 7

well she needs to tell him that shes not intrested in him as a boyfriend or husband, the last thing u wanna do is drag him along thinkin that she does like him,
she needs to tell him how she feels before his feelings get to far for her
and plz dont keep him around just for the money he gives
and if shes worried about not finding somebody else, she will, somebody will eventually come along

Answer 8

It sounds like she's using this poor guy, and to involve her children is reprehensible! She should be ashamed of herself. Being lonely and in a new place doesn't give her the right to use someone!!!

She should be careful.....what goes around, comes around.

Answer 9

This is a bad relationship, and as unfair to him as it is to her, and, to be honest, so far more unfair to him. Yes, he might be clingy, but there's no evidence presented that he's not a good person. Your friend might be a good person, but she's using him. She needs to find an alternative then leave her current bf. This is a relationship of convenience.

Answer 10

Ouray's right it isnt fair to her or him.... years from now she will have cheated on him multiple times and he wil find out. When he does he will throw her kids out the second story window, sell the PS3 and scream "Why the hell did I spend all that money on you, you flippin prostitute?"

Answer 11

if the only reason why she don't like him is because he is of the larger size then she needs to find someone just like him in a smaller size. or learn to deal with it... sounds like she just wants him for his money and that is not fair to the man...tell your friend to get a job and support herself and let her support themselves too..