should i end the relationship?

Question

I am 25 and my boyfriend 27,we have been together for 10 yrs. we have three kids and purchased a home a yr ago. our relationship has been getting worse since about 4 yrs ago. i was 8 mos. pregnant and found out he was cheating with a co-worker. I left him and he kept looking for me I had so many mixed emotions that i ended taking him back for our family's sake. My father died a yr later and he was not there for me. i went through depression and he was just so cold. now we are having financial and emotional problems and he doesn't help to find a way to make thing work. I'm so tired of it and theres been times when I have just stayed in the relationship just because of the kids. But now i've had it and want out but i'm so scared for my kids. Am i being selfish? should i just stay and keep my mouth shut? I have a good job and I can make it financially but I feel like I would be tearing the family apart, i don't know what to do?

Answer 1

If you think there is a chance, to salvage the relationship, try concealing. If he doesn't want to try...then leave!! You deserve to be happy too. Don't feel like your are ripping the family apart. The kids will still have a father you just wont be with him. You don't think the kids know that their parent's arent happy? Most the times they have a clue. If the house is emotionally unstable, the kids see that...and it take affect on them. They shouldn't be growing up, in an unhappy home.

Answer 2

First you are the only one that can make this chose all we can do is give our opinion. Children are never a good reason to stay in an unhappy relationship as sooner or later they will feel the conflict and it will impact their lives. All of us deserve to have someone with us that are going to be supportive during times of grief and hardship and it sounds like you don't have that so it is time for some serious sole searching. Ask yourself if you are better with him or without him and which way do you see having a better life and a happier one. Your children deserve to have a father yes but just because the two of you are not together doesn't mean they don't have one he is still dad. At 25 there is still alifetime ahead of you and you cn accomplish a lot of things with it or you can stay somewhere and be unhappy. Try talking to him and trying some counceling and if he refuses then you know he is not emotionally capable of being what you want and need. Being a single parent is hard but you can do it and be happy.

Answer 3

I know it sounds like a cliche but it is true, a man that cheats will always cheat. Men seek quality while boys seek quantity. He is the one that was selfish and risked his entire family for some fling with a co-worker. He doesn't respect you, so you need to respect yourself more. What would your father honestly tell you? He would tell you to love yourself more and to let him go. If he is a man, then he will be there for his children regardless, if he is not, then you will find out that you wasted 10 years of your life on a man that wasn't worth it. Read the book " Why Men Marry Bitches" you will start to be strong like those women and you will then want more out of life than what he will give you. You can make yourself miserable all by yourself, you do not need a man to make you more miserable. I have been there. I was in a 9 year relationship and now I am a single mother, but I regained my dignity. My grandmother always said " When you go down, go down with dignity" Good luck and God Bless you. Do not let your children think it is okay to stay with a man that cheats or they will repeat that pattern.

Answer 4

Start writing down what you are feeling every day, keep journal. Look at it in 3 months. If there is no improvement, or efforts you make to remedy the situation fail. It may be time to move on. You can take the journal to counselor/pastor and use it to work through your feelings too. If no kids, would say bail, but you have more than just you to think about. This way, if you do divorce, you will know, in writing and your heart you did all you could do.

Good luck

Answer 5

It sounds like you have been thinking about this for a while. Your children will survive if you leave him, don't worry about that. In fact, they may be happier because you will have less stress. The real determining factor was when he did not support you when your father died. If you can't look to the one you love for comfort, what type of relationship do you have? It doesn't sound like there is much left. I say move on and the kids will be fine. Good luck to you!

Answer 6

First I want to say I'm sorry for the way he's treated you. You need to leave him for your sake and your children's. What kind of dad is he to cheat on the mother of his kids? Is that something you really want your kids to grow up around. He made vows to love and take care of you and he's not doing that. How do you know he will do the same for your kids forever? Besides that, children can feel whatever is going on between you two. They know when mommy isn't happy or when dad doesn't care. The older the get the more they will pick up on and they need to be brought up right. So take your kids and leave. You are not being selffish by looking out for yourself and your kids.

Answer 7

Have you tried counseling? But the thing is he cheated on you. Are you sure about it? You catch him or he told you? Either way you should leave him for the safe of your children, no children need a parent who is not trustworthy, how he could even teach you kids about respect etc. You need to end this, you are not the only woman who will make this decision nor the last one.
Please any decision you make do it ASAP you kids aren't getting any younger you are young and who knows maybe you will find somebody, if not you won't die. We are the strong gender no matter what anybody says.
Good luck to you, be strong not afraid is you and your kids life is jeopardy.

Answer 8

Hunny, My dad was the worst torwards us and to my mom. My mom stayed b/c she didn't have a job, and no skills, It doesn't help for kids to see their mom unhappy, and does he treat them well, doubt it if he treats you that way. If you can support and love them then leave TODAY. Just like me you'll get all these post of how you don't take your vows seriously, but screw them. My parents are still together 30yrs later, my dad is not all that bad yet, but I still sometimes resent ,y mom for making us live through that, and she still can't not stand him.

Answer 9

leave him and never look back. both you and the kids will be happier. Who needs all that emotional stress?

Answer 10

When momma isn't happy, ain's nobody happy. Do what is best for you, in the end it will be what is best for the kids.