A few months ago, I went to my doctor's and found out that I'd had a miscarriage (I was 7 months pregnant) and I wanted to have some kind of memories of my stillborn, so when they removed the dead body, I had my boyfriend Al record it on the camcorder because some people video record the birth of their kids and I want to be able to say that I have birthing video too. I was thinking about making the video into one of those cute li'l music videos, you know with the sweet music playin in the background. What should the background song be while the footage is playin? I was thinkin about havin it be "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Guns-n-Roses. Any other ideas?
2006-07-27 11:01:12 · 38 answers · asked by Tina Marie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Your account is new (today-7/27), and this is your first question - you haven't answered anyone's questions yet.
Your 'story' is just that. . .
You have upset many folks, already, and I wonder if that was truly your intention? Interesting way to begin an association with a very large, dynamic, diverse, group - family - of folks. . .
Back to your 'story' ----
No one goes to a doctor and 'finds out' that they've had a miscarriage - at 7 months of pregnancy.
If any of your statement is valid - You were informed that your baby was no longer viable - a very distressing and traumatic event, for a 'real' woman, in a 'real' situation.
You would have then been induced to deliver this fetus, or, been admited for surgery, similar to a c-section. You say nothing in your statement about this very difficult and painful reality - again ---
NOT a normal response for a 'real' woman, in a 'real' situation.
The ultimate, final, give-away to your attempt at fiction - - -
No medical staff would support you (allow your friend in OR); to video tape the removal of a dead fetus. . .
I believe you have fabricated and fantasized this horrific tale - for what reason? only you know - - -
I for one, shall now avoid your input, if you choose to stay at Yahoo Answers . . . you are a manifestation of a painful reality in our society, and you have shamed the dignity of motherhood.
2006-07-27 11:29:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Although I understand the need to never forget and to have some sort of memory of this baby, the video tape is only going to bring you gut wrenching memories of what was lost. Keep the sonogram pictures, the first baby outfit you purchased, the first little pair of socks, and if you were able to hold your child after the birth, the video clip of that. You want precious memories honey. The fact that you loved this baby enough to do all that says it all. However, Guns N' Roses soundtrack is a little far fetched. Most of the mobile's made for cribs have an adorable baby tune on them that would work perfectly as the back round music to your video.
2006-07-27 11:52:57 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I say go for it! I know my parents had me after a miscarriage and that was very hard on both of them. So whatever helps to heal, I would do it. It might be considered a little strange among some people, but I do understand why you want something to remember it by. That is still one of your children and I home some day you will see your baby in Heaven! If it was your first baby I can really see how much harder it would be. I know that I loved the song "Only Time" by Enya would be a very beautiful song. So God Bless & you will have another one!
2006-07-27 11:12:13 · answer #3 · answered by Lorla 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is absolutely normal to want a memory of your lose, it seems taboo because it involves the death of a baby, a stillborn.
I have dealt with many stillbirths, helping family to say goodbye and commemorating their child's life with photos, foot and hand prints, locks of hair. Being able to validate that YES there was a child, saying THIS was my child and not just a dead baby.
Completely and totally normal.
There is even a nation wide photo service that will take portraits called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.
Those who have not lost a child cannot comprehend the feeling of walking away from the hospital with empty arms.
You do what you need to do to remember your baby. The choice of song is YOUR choice of song. Having something, ANYTHING, says out loud, this was MY child and this is our angel.
Also visit the Missing Angel Foundation for support if you'd like to talk with other mom's who have lost their children.
Many women who have lost babies in the past when they were whisked away never to be seen, have said they wish they had something.
2006-07-27 13:38:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anne S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would say thats not a good song for ur child that died.. how about a sweet christian song about leaving with god. like amazing grace. or the great speckeled bird or something like that. i dont think a guns n roses song is a very good song to play for a baby that died. thats just wrong have a little respect for u decesed son. i dont know if thats even something good to record yes it may have been ur son but still. and if u make anything it should be memorise about the baby being in ur womb since u dont have any memorise form the baby growing up. but that is prity sick
2006-07-27 11:08:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I"m going to assume that you're serious. But a sane person would not have thought of this.
You really need to talk to someone. That's like videotaping someone's funeral. Actually, it's like videotaping the entire autopsy & embalming procedures too.
Your better memories, would have been of earlier ultrasound pictures when your baby was alive. Much as when we look back of pictures of when our loved ones were alive, and with us.
Please burn the video. I"m not sure I'll ever sleep again, thinking about this.
2006-07-27 14:26:03 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about your loss.
I'm not one to play that genre of music for something sentimental to me. I would choose something a little "softer," like something from Enigma or Enya. That's just me. If you really like the song, play it. It's something you can always go back to and use to help you remember your pregnancy and the birth of your little one.
BTW, Guns N Roses didn't sing "Every Rose has its Thorn," it was Poison, just in case you start looking for it and can't find it.
2006-07-27 11:09:37 · answer #7 · answered by chamely_3 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the worst idea I have ever heard. Don't you want to think fondly of what could have been of your child rather than how angry you are that it died? Maybe choose a song that talks, more kindly, about plans that will never be, or a song that reflects where you think your child is now. For example, if you believe in angels, Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World is a great song.
2006-07-27 11:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by tim15roth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry you went through such a traumatic stillbirth. It's something someone should never have to go through.
I never heard of making a video of a stillborn baby, and it's an idea which has freaked a lot of people out. That said, a lot of women who have had stillbirths have Polaroids taken of their baby to remember him or her by. So, if it will make you feel better and help you to grieve, then go for it.
My deepest sympathies go to you and your boyfriend.
2006-07-27 11:20:03 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
forst of all every rose has its thorn is so not apprpriate.
secondly you should conside a sweet lullaby to "soothe" the child into Heaven.
if it were me i would have done the same thing, also i would get a box and put all the babys firsts in it (pacifer, outfit, socks/booties, toy,, etc.) and make a scrapbook commemorating the baby perhaps with a sonogram picture of the child in the scrapbook
2006-07-29 09:17:55 · answer #10 · answered by luckyduck2006 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋