My best friend recently moved in with her boyfriend that she met at xmas, since shes lived there hes turned so possive of her its unreal, he fones her all day at work txts etc. if she doesnt reply straight away she ha the 20qeustions thing from him. she cant go out with freinds or have any time t herself with out him, hes taken to reading her txt msgs while he thinks shes not looking.
on top of this shes really unhappy at work, but feels she cant leave cos shes to locked up in herself.
Shes to afraid to b late home from work cos of what shel get when she gets home (no voilence just mental torture) she doesnt argue with him as he gets bad ashama attacks n passes out, thats anouther reason she feels she cant leave.
Shes so down me and anouther friend actully fear for her well being.
weve tried talking t her, pursuading her etc everything we can think of but she wont do anything even tho hes grinding her further n further down.
please no sarcy answers we need real help.
2006-07-27 10:52:28 · 12 answers · asked by laydee_t_xx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
When i say we need to get her out of this relationship i mean we REALLY need to, were afraid of what she might do or try n do to herself
2006-07-27 11:07:17 · update #1
the only other thing we could come up with is tell her mother who has no idea, but she then think were interferring and would my mate hate me for it? i dont wana upset her mum if i can help her myself
2006-07-27 11:26:46 · update #2
i was in a relationship where he mentally abused me( not in the same way as your friend but fairly similar ) he made me feel like there was no life for me without him. i was on antidepressants the whole time i was with him. i couldnt see what he was doing to me,but everyone else did. your friend will maybe feel the same or she may be thinking that if she stays long enough then it will stop, it wont it only gets worse the more control he has over her.
my friends told me this man was bad for me and i thought they were wrong so i pushed them away, be carefull she doesnt do this with you.
it is a very difficult situation for you as if you keep trying to tell her he is wrong for her the more she may rebel and stick with him
the thing that made me get my ex out of my life for good was when i had just given birth to my second son to him, and he came to visit he sat with my baby in his arms and totally ignored his older son something inside me just snapped i let him leave as normal and i didnt let him back.
im not saying that your friend will only get out of this relationship if she has a child to this man. but it will be a small simple thing that she will go oh my friends were right why am i letting this man do this to me? and hopefully you will be there for her as soon as she does leave him.
hope this helps!
2006-07-27 11:31:52 · answer #1 · answered by suzexxx 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
U should talk 2 her boyfriend about letting loose a bit. Maybe he'll understand where she's comin from, and if he don't then maybe u should offer ur friend a psychologist if u don't think that she'll take it 2 personally, and if that still don't work then maybe u should contact her mom just let her in on the very little things that have been upsetting ur friend. Maybe her mom can talk some sense into her.
2006-07-27 18:56:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello to someone valuable friend.
I used to be the same untill it was too late and realized what a total *** i was being, and what it did to the lass I loved. never make that misstake again.
She needs to get out of that relationship if she isnt happy.
Sounds like he is a controll freak.
be a good friend and help her through this, she needs to be strong and get the hell out of there or she is going to have one hell of a louzy relationship, and she may just end up getting mentally scared for the remainder of her life.
It sounds as if you are a good caring friend, stand by her back her up and help her walk away from this.
wish you luck...
2006-07-27 11:18:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-10 15:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound truly concerned for your friend. maybe the best way to help her leave him is to provide a safe house for her. she needs to know that she has somewhere to go and won't have to worry about survival for a couple of weeks. help her out by meeting her basic needs. help her change her phone number, find a new job and move on with her life. encourage her to get some counseling - sounds like she fell into a co-dependency relationship.
2006-07-27 11:25:34 · answer #5 · answered by lady left the tramp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will stay with him until she cant take it anymore...just be patient and talk to her in the mean time...I read this one time and I thought of it while reading your problem ..."Relationships are like sand...you try and squeeze and hold on to tight and it will run right through your fingers...but if you gently hold it with an open palm and just admire it...it will stay.." Ok that may not help but its a nice thing to think about....
2006-07-27 11:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by Tyler Durden 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell your friends mum. you maybe right and she might hate you for it , but once she can make a life for herself without this man she will understand you only did it because you care. remember not to get cross if she doesn't thank you for it just give her time and let her know you are there for her. x
2006-07-27 11:58:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your a lovely friend ,but the only person who can do anything for her is herself,ive found the more you call someones partner the more they stand by them ,she will realise in time hes a control freak ,just be there for her when the time comes.
2006-07-27 14:16:21 · answer #8 · answered by Pat R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get the hell outta there before she ends up dead. Show her these posts so she knows that you are not the only one who thinks she should leave the guy.
2006-07-27 11:16:00 · answer #9 · answered by funkucla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE read this...and ask your friend to read this article, perhaps it will show her that what's happening to her is destructive and that she does not have to endure it
It is long but I think that it might help her to understand that the relationship she is in is about power not love.
http://www.womansavers.com/articles-for-women/73.html
my heart goes out to you and her, stay strong
S
x
2006-07-27 19:21:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋