I feel so unattractive to him. We get along great, other than the fact that his video games and reading takes presidence over paying me any attention. I try to "spice" things up a little, but all he does is look around me, or push (not violently) me away. It's breaking my heart.
2006-07-27 09:54:41 · 15 answers · asked by Désireé 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've been married for a year and a half. I am sure he's not cheating on me, because after work, hes always home. I've tried ignoring him, and distancing myself... I've also been to counciling alone. He just doesn't seem to get it.
2006-07-27 10:10:25 · update #1
When this starts to happens you need to find a hobby and start doing you. You can't make anyone pay attention to you. I know its breaking your heart but he is just being a man. Selfish
2006-07-27 09:58:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
QUIT BEING HIS DOORMAT!
Don't cook for him, clean, or do his laundry. Quit contributing more than you get.
Make yourself happy and master a skill or two. Sounds like you two are young. Being more unavailable will get his attention.
Try to fix what you have before you walk away...
Slip a note in one of his books stating that you will be at the coffee shop at 7pm, and if he values you and your marriage, you will expect him to show up. Then go there and see if he shows up.
If he does, ask for what you want, tell him how his actions make you feel, and hold him accountable. If he really understands, he will be able to tell you in his own words what you have said.
He doesn't get it if he blows you off, makes excuses, or stands you up. And don't make any excuses for him!
Maybe he is feeling like a failure and he's afraid to disappoint you so he buries his energy in "safe" activities.....
Don't take his inventory and criticize him. Ask for the things you know he is capable of and inspire him to do them.
Try not to look too needy and desparate-that's unattractive. Expecting him to make you happy and it puts too much responsibility on him. It will set him up to fail and make him want to cheat to punish you or avoid disappointing you.
A little appreciation goes a long way, and so does gratitude. Egos in men need to be pumped once in a while, too. Make sure that you do it better than anyone else, and that you never forget that HE CHOOSE YOU above all others!
2006-07-27 10:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by pandora the cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try something along the lines of the following (in the middle of the evening, once he's eaten and had time to unwind from work a bit, but before it's time to go to sleep):
You: "Honey, want to come to to bed with me and have some fun?"
Him: (grunts, and continue reading or playing video games)
You: (carressing his neck) "OK then, I'll just go upstairs, get naked, and play with my new vibrator. I don't want to disturb you if you're busy."
Him: (grunts, and continue reading or playing video games)
You: (sliding a hand down his body) "Feel free to join me if you want..." (goes upstairs, gets naked, starts playing with her new vibrator, is soon moaning loudly enough to be heard from where he is)
If he isn't a lost cause, at some point the fact that there is a naked willing turned on woman in his bedroom will seep through from his subconscious, past the video game fog, and he'll come join you.
If that doesn't work, well, the options are your new vibrator or divorce.
2006-07-27 10:44:42 · answer #3 · answered by Roger D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, you need to look at the situation further. For example, is there another woman? You can't make anyone want what they don't want. I am not trying to be mean, just honest. Have you tried talking to him about whats going on? How long have you been married? Maybe you guys should try counseling or one on one conversation. I hope this all works out for you.
2006-07-27 10:06:24 · answer #4 · answered by Tx Shorty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your'e at the point that you both need marriage guidence you said you have tried to spice things up...maybe you should sit down together and seriously talk about how things are, you know if the relatonship is one sided things will eventually go peared shape this problem needs to be addressed now, i hope you can work things out. good luck.
2006-07-27 10:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And you guys have only been married a little over a year? It shouldn't be like that.
Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? This is always the best course of action. Communicate and see what he says.
2006-07-27 10:28:26 · answer #6 · answered by operamemartexpo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. Ask him to put a time limit on the video games and reading. And to give you an equal share of time. If that doesn't work, Shave off your pubic hair, buy some crotchless panties and give him a BJ and ask him to lick you.
2006-07-27 10:23:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does sound like he is young, but was this something that has just begun or has it been going on? any way He has to want to put it down, maybe its time to get reignited as in a weekend for two, in a different city, but if that does not work you just have to deal with it in your own way.
2006-07-27 10:06:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
save the drama for your mama , get a tissue for your issue, you are married to him , his clothes are in your closet right , your lucky that he is not cheating on you or is he? and either you need to talk to him about this issue and put your foot down let him know that it is breaking your heart , and either things need to change or its over yes tell him that be brave no tears, well if you must... good luck...............
2006-07-27 10:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by E.M. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try ignoring HIM for a change - men can't take being ignored either.Also, try to pretend you are very busy and happy doing other things.he will follow you like a dog after that.
2006-07-27 10:03:04 · answer #10 · answered by BlueLens 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋