I have a friend who recently confided in me that she was molested when she was eight or nine (you can imagine how awful I felt for her). She told me that the boy who did this was only four or five years older than her and thought that this wasn't technically being molested. I tried to tell her that it was because she said she was uncomforable with it. but she is having a really hard time accepting this answer. What are some things I can tell her to convince her that even though this boy was close to her age, he still molested her?
2006-07-27 09:50:47 · 29 answers · asked by Kansas 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If she doesn't trust your opinion, then it can be tough. Suggest that she get a second opinion from someone whom she trusts.
Most halfway decent people will share your assessment of the situation, which should be enough to convince her to get the help and support she desperately needs.
Being molested, raped, abused, etc. (in ANY form) is extremely hard on a person's self-esteem. Sometimes it's all that they can do just to employ a defense mechanism (like denial), just to go on living. Fortunately, there are excellent tools and therapies available for helping her overcome this, and the sooner she uses them, the better it will be for her psyche.
2006-07-27 10:01:09 · answer #1 · answered by Marc M 7 · 25⤊ 2⤋
If this woman was 8 or 9 and the boy was 4 or 5 yrs older then her, the first thing you should be checking out is the laws for that state. Yes it is considered molestation but it could also be called rape and punishable by law depending on your states laws.
If she was say 8 and he was 12/13 yrs old then the boy knew exactly what he was doing, he knew right from wrong and it was molestation and/or rape.
2006-07-27 16:56:58 · answer #2 · answered by ETxYellowRose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't really molestation but more like raped because especially if she didn't want it but he forced it on her. Molestation is when you are underage and your attacker is over the age of 18 then it is. I feel sorry for your friend either way though it shouldn't happen and it does more often than not, in fact I am willing to believe that 5/10 girls are raped or molested each yr and usually by someone they know.
2006-07-27 16:54:23 · answer #3 · answered by cheryl m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well Ill tell you this much !she did get molested , and it doesnt take a rocket scientist or a brain surgeon to realize this!it doesnt matter if the person was older or the same age as her.So tell your friend she needs to either file charges against this individual before he does it to some one else and ruins some other innocent persons life!I was molested from the age of three years old till I was nine years old ....I have no respect for child molestors or any other type of sex predator!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-07-27 17:00:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she was 8 or 9 then he would have to have been 12 or 13. Yes, I would say she was sexually abused. The boy would not be charged with anything now because he was under 16 when it happened but chances are he will continue to do things like this. Tell your friend she was definally sexually abused.
2006-07-27 16:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any unwanted sexual advances, no matter what the ages are, is wrong. Molestation is just one of many names that can be technically given to what she has been through. She did nothing wrong and once she realizes that, she will come to the understanding that what happened, was wrong. Good Luck!
2006-07-27 16:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by icemountian8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's difficult to accept you were molested if you have a different idea for so long. It hurts and makes you question everything. All you can do is what you've done. Explain it to her carefully, and let her handle it, but be there for her. She's gonna need a shoulder to cry on when she finally does accept it.
2006-07-27 16:53:58 · answer #7 · answered by callmegoddess618 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters my heart goes out to the victum, i too as a child suffered the same... and might i inform u that it does not matter if they are younger than you or older... if u do not consint to the activity IT IS MOLESTAION! you need not be a certain age, and as a friend you can count on the fact she needs to address the issue with someone who can take the steps to convicting or prosocute the discuting low=life who couldnt keep their hands to thierslves!! Shame on the scum bag!
2006-07-27 16:56:30 · answer #8 · answered by chevyluvrchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well for one thing, this is not at all uncommon.
I wouldn't be so insistent with her that this was a molestation. If she has her reasons for not believing it then let her not believe it. What difference will it make? Is she going to press charges after all these years?
2006-07-27 16:52:35 · answer #9 · answered by scruffy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am thinking no matter what you say she needs to go to someone more fit in handeling this sort of tramatic thing. Just let her know if she wants to talk or wants someone to listen your there for her. Let her come to you, don't you bring it up. good luck!! I was kind of in her situation myself not too long ago.. my situation did not get to the point that hers did, but the touching and feelings are the same. It sucks!! I still think about it and what he did to me. I know I should press charges but i am not..i have my bf and he helps me through the tough times..
2006-07-27 16:56:52 · answer #10 · answered by motorcyclelovinmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she misunderstands the word molest. Give her the definition:
Molest: To subject to unwanted or improper sexual activity.
It doesn't say anything about the molester having to be substantially older.
2006-07-27 16:54:41 · answer #11 · answered by Benjamin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋