What's a good way to piss off a tele-marketer?

Question

I want to joke and torture them a bit before they figure out they called the wrong person.

Answer 1

String out the conversation and waste their time, while you make them think that they might make a sale here. They don't mind if you politely say "No thanks" and hang up right away, 'cause they've spent 15 seconds with you, and are moving on. If they spend 5-10 minutes, and make no sale, they could have talked to 10-20 people in that amount of time.

Answer 2

hehehe-i tried everything but someone once told me to buy one of those airhorns...the kind that are in the cans that you can buy in a boating supply store

blast that sucker a time or two and they quit calling soon after. (I've had this done to see the effect and your ears will ring for days!! )

Maybe dangerous but they usually cuss like the devil and that's funny.


You can also tell them you're not interested in what they have unless it gives you a good orgasm...I've gotten tons of wtf's on that one...keep up with the 'will it feel good?' will my partner like it?' did your partner like it?' can i use it with lubricant?' what's the best position to use this product in?' sound really interested..but make it sound like they are selling a sex toy or something. Credit debt consolidation marketers are the funniest.

hehehe

Answer 3

I have permission from my boss to just put them on hold for a while. After a couple minutes come back, and ask them to hold a little while longer.

My coworker always says she will sing to the next tele-marketer she talks to.

If they ask for someone specific by their title (asking for the manager, owner, ,,,) tell them "You need to speak with Stan, let me transfer you to them". Then put them on hold. After a couple minutes pick up and ask who they are waiting for. When they tell you Stan, say "There's no Stan that works here. Sorry".

They waste plenty of our time, lets waste some of theirs!

Answer 4

Ask them 3 or four questions after every sentence they say. Like you are trying to get all the info about the product you can. they want to get to their next call ASAP so....keep them tied up asking question after question after question about their product ,services,or what ever. Try to ask questions they can't possibly answer.Who's the CEO of the company? Do they own one personally? Does it work under water......you get the idea. Act interested but confused. They'll get jittery and eventually hang up. I have gotten rid of several of telemarketers this way

Answer 5

Take a long time to answer their questions, ask them to explain what they are asking or to repeat it, answer in ways that don't make any sense, put them on hold, pretend to be screaming at somebody and say something like "I'm on the phone with this damned telemarketer"

Answer 6

1) If they ask how you are doing, start sobbing uncontrollably and blabber on about how your boyfriend/girlfriend just left you, your pet died, etc. etc. but start with "Oh I'm so glad you asked!"

2) Breath slowly, deeply and deliberately put the mouthpiece very close to your mouth. After they are finished with their initial sales pitch, say (in your sexiest, most breathy voice) "So...what are you wearing?"

3) Insist that they speak very slowly because you "...want to make sure you get this all down." Ask how to spell less-than-difficult words (such as "offer" or "only"). If they begin to get impatient, start to cry and say "Everybody always makes fun of my learning disabilities!" or something similar.

4) Let them say their name and confirm you heard them with an "Ok" or "Uh-huh", but after their next 4 or 5 words say "Ok you lost me. Who are you again?" Let them repeat, and again let them get into their next statement and say "Whoa, whoa--too fast! Where are you from again?" Repeat until they hang up.

5) After you answer the phone and say a few words, allow them to speak. Then begin speaking in a foreign accent (middle eastern works very well). They most likely won't say anything, but next time you begin to speak, use your normal speaking voice. Keep flip-flopping like that until they ask you "How many people am I talking to?" or just hang up.

6) Once you pick up and they are done with their initial statement, wait a few seconds and, in a panicked tone, "How did you get this number?!" When they start to talk you should interrupt them and say "This is an unlisted number!" and start mumbling things about being in hiding or with a witness protection program of sorts, and end by pretending you were speaking to someone in another room "Honey get your crap together--we gotta go! They found us!" and intentionally leave the phone off the hook so they can hear you frantically trying to pack some essentials while saying things like "...not again" or "...if they find us we're dead!" and end with a door slamming.

7) When they are finished with their first statement, say something like "I must let you know that this conversation will be recorded. Anything you say is considered admissable in a court of law..." and things to that effect. The fun is to see how little time it takes for them to hang up OR to get a supervisor on the phone. If you have the fortune of getting the supervisor and they ask about being recorded, act completely dumbfounded and say something like "Now I can't know for sure, but I think that person might have been under the influence of something..."

8) Go ahead and listen to their entire sales pitch, but in the end demand that you speak to their supervisor. If they don't put you through, oh well; you have them scared. If they DO, the fun can really begin. When they come on, you can start by saying "Hello?" as if you had just picked up the phone. Make it seem as if this is some kind of prank and that you intend to get the police involved. This is a good way to make sure your number is PERMANENTLY removed from their list!

I've got tons more, but these are my favorites; I've had the most fun and success with these!

Sure, sometimes I feel bad about it--they're just doing their jobs. But do they really have to call everytime I'm about to sit down to dinner?

Enjoy!

Answer 7

Yeah tell them to hold on and put the phone down and wait for them to hang up.

Answer 8

Tell them now is not a good time, but if they give you their home phone number, you will call them back when you can.

Answer 9

Start talking to them in another language, preferably one that's not commonly spoken as a second language.

Answer 10

blow a referees whistle down the phone, or put them on hold for 10 mins