How do I communicate better with my wife? Even after 16 yrs of marriage we don't click like we should.?

Answer 1

My husband and I are "Happily Incompatable." We are different, we disagree, and we have light hearted ways of diffusing it. Its much easier to communicate when you feel loved the way you are. I love my husband just like he is. If you are trying to change your spouse or they wish you would change in some area, it is very hard to communicate. Don't ask me why, but unconditional love seems to precede communication and change; I think it brings down walls. So love that woman like crazy, she may even think you're crazy if you haven't clicked in a while, but keep loving on her, and she'll realize you are serious. You will both be able to be HONEST about every area when you know it wont jeopordize your relationship. Plus, when you feel safe you are more cheerful, spontaineous, and fun to be around.

Answer 2

I've been married 12 years and know the feeling . People change as they get older and what was once an interest to both is no longer . Wine her and dine her , ask her out on a date . Don't take each other for granite . My husband spiced up our anniversary with a dozen roses and a card , doesn't sound like much , BUT , HE made dinner too !!!! While I was at work . Now if you can't cook (neither can he , but he tried like hell ) go out and bring in dinner . Set the table , something nice and unexpected , . My Grandmother was married to my Grandfather for 70 years , and I ask her , what the secret was , she said , PATIENCE ! ! . So have a little patience and start dating all over again .

Answer 3

Try some EMPATHY. Turn the tables in your mind. Consider perspectives other than your own. Be responsible for your own feelings, and never act out of spite. Inspire change by taking a new approach. She will be forced to react differently. Never sit her down and take her inventory. Be accountable for your part in any problems. Acknowledge her contributions to the marriage, and praise her for it. Argue your point of view, but don't always be right. Never fight and assassinate her character. Argue the real issues, don't just fight about the topics. Listen honestly, without thinking of what you will say next or how you will defend yourself while she is talking. Remember, men talk to offer solutions, women talk to offer suggestions and support. Don't try to fix her stuff, and accept her ideas. Go on Yahoo answers and discuss how to answer this stuff together. You'll learn more about how each other thinks and feels, and be doing something together.

Answer 4

this is an excellent question and the timing is just right...I've noticed around 20 years of marriage alot of dynamics change in the marriage....children at the age or approaching being legally responsible for their own actions....finances tend to be in order...and our roles as parents can shift so that we become more independent and can think more of ourselves as partners and not parents...what a better way to start communicating better...discuss the future with your wife, be completely open...don't allow her to just say what she feels you want to hear...but listen to what she wants to say...make plans...get excited over those plans...even if they aren't just around the corner...but it at least gives one hope to see that certain dreams can come true...good luck..keep the line of communication open..blessings.

Answer 5

here are some good books on marriage----
"One Flesh' by Bob Yandian
"Marriage on the Rock" by Mike Evans
"Resolving Conflicts in Marriage " by Darrell Hines

you can find these at your local Christian Bookstore...

Answer 6

have you tried marriage counseling? It might help you get some tricks on how to listen to each other and hear each other better...

Answer 7

have you thought about having a talk about not being able to talk?

maybe counseling