How do you turn emotions off?

Question

How do you turn feelings off that you had for someone a long time ago but they resurfaced in your life and now the feelings did too but your in a relationship with someone to whom u do love but are curious if it would be better with you past person? should i let the old flame burn out completely or see if there is something there still? I have 2 kids to think about I just don't know what to do.

Answer 1

you don't..after time it gets a little easier but they never totally go away!!!

Answer 2

Do you know the saying a bird in the hand is better than 10 in the bush, or something to that effect ? In my opinion, you are happy with your current relationship, and you love him and have 2 kids, do not let someone else's situation and life changes affect your life. Just because that person resurfaced, does not mean that he automatically has the right to get a second chance with you. You do not know what will happen if you allow your feelings to get the best of you, and find out at the end it was not worth it, and at what cost ? You could lose your kids your husband ?
Here is another saying:" If it aint broke dont fix it".
You do not owe that old flame anything, and you said you are happy with what you have, dont be greedy. If he really cared for you, he would not pressure you either. Keep telling yourself, what you wrote up there, about the kids and your current man. You love them.
Block the temptation and those feelings out. Believe me, you will be much happier, you do not need grief. Focus those feelings into your current life, and those who surround you and love you.

Answer 3

You do not turn your emotions off you control them. One of the best lessons I ALLOWED myself to learn was to control my emotions and not to let them control me. When you are angry you do not go around punching wholes in the wall. Well, when you are in love or you love does not mean that you have to be an emotional doormat. In your case, just because you have kids does not mean that you should ignore your feelings. If you are unhappy and living a lie it is only going to make a bad situation worse. But there are many people out there who are not together and have a great working family without being together. You do not have to be with your kids mother to be a good father. The only one that can judge your situation is you. Do you think that what you once had is worth throwing away what you now have? Is losing the one that you are with now worth relearning the person that you once had? You need to think long and hard about what you want to do. The saddest part about this is that when it comes to love and relationships there is no way to really know what is going to come of it until you go through it.

Answer 4

In love you can never go backwards, without reliving all of the past mistakes and hurts again and again.

Out of loyality you should immediately tell your new partner about what your going through. If the situation was reversed, and his old flame resurfaced wouldn't you want to know? In a way you already know what will happen if you go with your past love, and all the hurt it will cause those you love, and your kids will be confused and learn from you that it is ok to be disloyal and sneak around with these thoughts.

Be an adult, tell your partner about the old flame, recognize your feelings as those of nostagia and not of substance. If you love your current partner NOW IS THE TIME TO PROVE IT.

Answer 5

I would say just let it burn out. You can't just turn off the emotion, so you are kind of faced with a choice. Either stay with your current relationship or devorce him and pursue the other guy.

Pursuing the other guy could mean being reunited with a past love, but there are reasons that you should stay with your current partner. First, think about your kids. If they are under 10 years old, a devorce could seriously mess them up mentally. I would know, my parents got devorced when I was three. If they are over ten, it will still mess them up, but not quite as bad. Second, if you devorce your current partner and pursue the other guy, but he is not interested ( which is more than likely), you will have lost your relationship with your current partner. My suggestion to you would be to stay with your current partner. It is your decision though, just be sure to chose wisely, you might regret it for the rest of your life.

Answer 6

I will give you some great advice... (this is not meant to be mean, and you will see how it CAN work!) Go to the hardware and pick up a hammer, go to Staples and get a Sharpie marker... place an "X" in the middle of your forehead and everytime you think of the one you wish to forget, hit the "X" when you think of the "ex". You see, you should never live in reverse, you and he split and parted ways years ago for a reason, and the reason remains. Do not try to go back, I have learned when you do, it is somehow much worse.

I hope this helps you and good luck to you!

Answer 7

you may always love that person from your past but you have to think how could ending a good thing to start up something old benefit you? if it can't then it isn't worth it. I have feelings for a guy I dated in high school. we will always be friends and I will always love him and be in love with him but I have a man that loves me unconditionally. I would not risk what I currently have for any one. The thing about a mistake like infidelity is you can't take it back. the do has already been did. no matter if a person forgives you, when they close their eyes they will picture your wrongs. the choice is yours ultimately, choose wisely!! Good Luck

Answer 8

even if you could effectively "turn off" your thoughts relies upon, partly, on the variety of individual you're, quite how "sturdy" you're at strength of will and could-ability. From my study of psychology and my own reviews over a lengthy time period, i ought to assert that the thanks to administration thoughts is to easily OCCUPY YOUR ideas WITH something ELSE thoroughly. you may do this with suggestions from busying your self with a annoying pastime (even a interest) that calls for your finished interest. that ought to help you supply up wondering about besides the reality that develop into causing your solid thoughts. Immersing your self in a actual pastime like a pastime (operating, swimming, a crew pastime, and so on) ought to also help you get your ideas off besides the reality that develop into causing the forged emotion besides. A recognize caution: considering that thoughts (thoughts) are an major area of existence, as a fave rule, you need to locate uncomplicated techniques to stay with them fairly than suppressing them or attempting to remove them. Suppressing or ignoring your thoughts may reason psychological issues and frustrations which will "re-floor" in such techniques as anger or violence as a launch. So be careful what you do!!

Answer 9

No matter how many feelings you have for this old flame, you made the biggest commitment you could ever make with someone by having kids with them so stop and just stay with your children.

Answer 10

temt, tem-ta'-shun (nacah, "to prove" "try," "tempt" maccah, "a trial," "temptation"; peirazo, "to try" "prove" peirasmos "a trial," "proof"):

The words have a sinister connotation in present-day usage which has not always attached to them. Originally the words were of neutral content, with the sense of "putting to the proof," the testing of character or quality.

You are strong and don't sell your family for anything.Think bout your children, your loved one and self respect...We all are going to experience temptation in a way or other, is in us to fight it and become a better person.

Temptation therefore in the Scripture sense has possibilities of holiness as well as of sin. For as all experience witnesses, it is one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall. To be tempted--one may rejoice in that (James 1:2), since in temptation, by conquering it, one may achieve a higher and nobler manhood.

Good luck
Read the Bible it will open your eyes and give you strenght
Philippians 4:13

Answer 11

Someone once told me that there is a reason that our "ex's" are our "ex's." Ask God for wisdom and clarity, that you may know what he wants for you, and ask him to let you feel his love and protect you from feeling lonely, as He is the one who can give you the most wonderful, unconditional love of all. Remember that there are millions of people out there, and just because you have feelings left, doesn't mean that it would be the right decision. God bless.