i really need help with this bcause im scared to come out im sacared to be judged! i´m not even able to tell my own therapist because im asahmed!! also i really need to be with guys like me but i cant cause im afraid everyone in my familywill end up knowing!!! PLEASE HELP WITH THIS!
2006-07-27 08:44:32 · 36 answers · asked by hanno 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
First don't kill yourself. Nothing is worth that.
Second, it is OK to be gay, do NOT listen to the morons who say it's not. They do not have YOUR best interest in mind. God never spoke to anyone. Noone knows how God feels about anything. We have a book written by men who may have felt that way at that time.
Don't come out if you don;t want to. That's fine. First accept who you are, once you do that everything else will come into place. You do not need validation from everyone else. I'm sure there are some people in your family who will accept it. I dunno how old you are, but maybe move to a town away from your family. So they won't know every move you make. Discover who you are before you state it to anyone else.
Good luck and Be strong. People who tell you it's wrong have no idea what it feels like to be Gay. They are professing to be God and know God, don;t believe them.
I would definitely talk to your therapist though. They will not judge you and can probably help you to accept this.
2006-07-27 09:19:06 · answer #1 · answered by scorp 3 · 6⤊ 2⤋
First realize this, you don't have to come out until you are ready. Many young people are closeted in the beginning of thier adult lives. This is ok. When you are ready to come out, you will know. So stop pressuring yourself with this dilema.
As for being with other guys. Go out and find yourself a nice guy to date. Be careful and chose wisely. Enjoy dating, don't go looking for too much at first. Enjoy dating and the new expereinces. Again when you are ready for more than dating you will know.
Last, tell your therapist. They are bound my oath to keep everything you talk abotu in thier office confidential. This means they can not say a word to anyone else. If they do they can be taken to court and sued. This would be an excellent place to start coming out, and having someone to help you deal with all sorts of issues and questions.
If you need otehr people to talk to, other gay men, contact me. I would be happy to talk to you some online and help you through these tough times in your life.
Just remember, suicide is not the answer here. You are loved by God and probably many other friends and family.
2006-07-27 09:02:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to college far from home or in a big city. Play around over there.
Find a gay friendly therapist.
Find a gay lesbian community center near you. Sign up for a coming out support group and or a gay youth group. Use the internet and the yellow pages. Call different places and ask for referals.
Find a gay book store or a gay section of a bookstore and read about coming out stories and growing up gay and all sorts of gay issues.
Read gay magazines.
Go to gay computer sites. Not pornagraphic. Sites with real stories.
You need to realize you arn't alone. The resources are there for you. You just have to use them.
Why do you need your family to know right away? Stay in the closet until you are paying your own bills and are on your own. If you want to move out and be on your own then go ahead and tell them if you must. Other than just keep it to your self. You haven't even been with a man let a lone a relationship yet! You still need to find a lot of stuff out about your self before you go explaining everything to others. Why bring them along for your learning curve?
Think about it! What are you going to do - go up to your folks and say - "hi mom, hi Dad! By the way - I think I might be gay, I haven't been with a man yet but I want to try it out and.... " Do you get my drift? They might be cool with it. They might flip out. If you think there is a chance they might flip out - let sleeping dogs lie!
God did not make you the way he did just to damn you to hell. You are loved. Believe it. Killing your self is not the answer. Ask God to lead you and help you through this.
Best wishes to you!
2006-07-27 09:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going to go crazy if you don't tell someone so I suggest you go to a Christian therapist.
Give God a chance to get rid of these demons first.
Then your life will not have the obstacles of "family finding out"
Look in the phone book and look up Christian Counselors or Christian Therapists who are trained to deal with this kind of situation.
Pray first that God would lead you to the right therapist.
Not all are the same. You may have to try a few different therapists but I suggest a therapist that trusts in God.
Good luck, don't despair.
The fact that you came to this religious forum means that you believe in God and so remember, God will always hear a sincere heart. Ask Him for His help.
2006-07-27 08:51:13 · answer #4 · answered by Joja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your therapist! He/she will not judge you so you have nothing to be ashamed about. If you really don't feel comfortable telling your regular therapist, try consulting another one ( a stranger) maybe it will be easier for you to talk then. The most important thing is that you DO talk about it to someone, there is nothing wrong with being gay, trying to hide it will only cause you ( and those people around you) a lot of unnecessary grief and pain. Please don't try to kill yourself, you are as much of a person whether you are gay or straight, never forget that.
2006-07-27 08:50:45 · answer #5 · answered by Courage 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I felt horrible about being gay, too. There are some gay support groups on line. There have been some great people in history who were gay, you are in good company. Leonardo da Vinci, Michaelangelo, Alexander The Great, Alan Turing (who invented the modern computer), and so many more. What made the big difference for me was meeting other gay people--the stereotype is ridiculous, its so silly, so unrealistic--gay people are as a rule more interesting and more fun than straight people. Please hang in there. If you can move to a big city when you are old enough, you will find it a lot easier there, a city like New York or Los Angeles or San Francisco or Seattle for example, and many others. Maybe set your college sites on one of those cities. For now, please check for gay support groups on line. Good luck man!
2006-07-27 08:58:15 · answer #6 · answered by jxt299 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who told you that you were gay? I hope there is someone close to you that you can talk to about your problems...as for the things some of the answers have said like it's ok to be gay...don't buy into that crape if God intended for for two men to be together then he would not have created woman. Also when two men or two women can share the same bed and create a child naturally as man and woman does then i'll be that God is down with this sort of thing until then i'm sticking to what God says about it...as for people they can always give you advice that will sell your soul to satan but for some odd reason its hard for these people in this world of ours to give advice that can save your soul. Maybe it's because people are so far removed from God that they can not or simple refuse to live a Godly life. No matter what they say you had the feeling that what you think you are is wrong so my advice to you is get some counseling and keep fighting that evil temptation honey.... you are on the right track. Don't let satans little helpers draw you into their hell ok. Most of them don't even realize the hold he has on them. Peace and may God be with you on your journey in this evil world we live in. And also you don't have to be some holy roller to fill as i do, i simply use the good sense God gave me. If something makes you feel guilty or ashamed then its wrong or sinful for you. On some issues you have to go against the crowd. Stay strong and keep up the good fight! Trust and believe you'll win this battle.
Ps.
I agree 100% with "dxb" good answer my friend. Please do not listen to that "traci00" someone other than God has their hooks deeply inbedded in her mind...no offense traci00 but don't offer wicked advice to a young man whose in need of guidance, if he thought it was ok he would not have tried to hurt himself ok! It's not ok to be gay unless it's the (happy//gay)...
2006-07-27 08:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by Airam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay you should not be ashamed of who you are, you are gay it's fine. I would never judge you and I know there are a lot of other people who wouldn't judge you either. If you tell your family and they reject you, fine they were never really your family. If you tell your friends and they do the same, they were never really ur friends. You can always move on, remember that. I'm sure that you fit in somewhere, so just go find that place that you are comfortable in and want to be. Dont be ashamed of who you are because then ur just pretending to be something else and you will never be as happy as you want to be.
2006-07-27 10:08:10 · answer #8 · answered by lovely_lady_212625 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude, first of all ignore those in here that say being gay is a sin. the bible tells us what the sins are, theyre in the 10 commandments. the rest are just suggestions, things you can do to honor god. people will find a reason to be against you no matter what you do. your parents might be upset, hell, they might even threaten to disown you, but if they love you, which im sure they do, theyll get over it. the first thing you need to do to feel better is tell someone, your therapist is a good first place to start. your therapist will most likely start by asking things like, are you sure? have you ever been molested, and crap like that, explain your reasons why, and understand his/her need to question your descision. then tell one friend you really trust. continue tellng those around you, as often as you can, then try telling a sibling or aunt or uncle. youll soon find that even though some people are *****, most are very ok with gay people. then, and heres the hard part, muster up your courage, and tell your parents. expect a fight, maybe some crying, and know that they only do it because they love you. tell them you want to be happy, and that you feel this is what you want. if they completely freak out, give them a little while to adjust. they might be upset for as long as a year, heck, they might never get completely over it. i know some of my friends told their parents and were accpeted immediately, and i have other friends whos parents still havent got over it. they are sad about it, but have accepted that theyll need to be quiet about it with their parents, and they dont bring their boyfriends around. in the end, its not the end of the world. you wanna try hard? im bisexual, and i get hated by gays and straights alike. straight people tell me im confused, and gay people tell me im confused. i just ignore them. i know who i am and what i want, and i happen to want the best of both worlds. lol. truly, you have the rest of your life before you, this will pass, and you will be happy. i wish you the best of luck.
2006-07-27 09:00:04 · answer #9 · answered by sslowbliss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not be ashamed that you are gay - that is who you are and you should be proud. We cannot control what others think, but we can control how we feel about ourselves. Anyone who is gay has experienced the fear of "coming out", but if your friends and family truly love you, then it will not cause them to shun you just because you are gay. Please, at least tell your therapist - they do not judge, and they can help you deal with your fears and insecurities. Remember, you are not the only person to have to deal with their sexuality - many people have struggled with it, and they have come out of the closet and are living happy, healthy lives. You will too! Take care.
2006-07-27 09:13:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋