I'm having a lot of doubts about me and my boyfriend...i think i still love him but im not sure anymore. It's scary because we've been making big, future plans...we're getting a house together in November and we've even been talking about getting married ina year or 2 after I've finished school...so i'm wondering am i falling out of love or am i just scared of how serious we've gotten? :-/
2006-07-27 08:27:22 · 13 answers · asked by Hypnotiq 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I knew I fell out of love when I became indifferent. No feelings, bad or good. Its the worst feeling in the world. You may be confused right now but its better to hang in there and see if you really don't love him.
Can you imagine your life without him in it?
2006-07-27 09:03:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think loving someone is an ACTIVE choice--not an "accidental" thing that" happens" and then reverses. Talk w/him. Sometimes people confuse the disconnection that happens in a relationship to mean there is no LOVE. The truth is, a reltionship is hard work. I would discourage you from moving in together. I think you guys need to slow down, start "dating" again--enjoy each others company, learn something interesting together, talk and listen and seek professional help if you both come to the conclusion that you have a good enough friendship that you don't want to part ways w/out trying....I know this isn't the romantic answer you are looking for, and not the easiest, but it is the wise one. Think about a parent and child--does the parent one day say, "Oh, my, I don't think I love my child anymore..." Reality is, most parents are committed to their children--through thick & thin and that is a choice they make--not a feeling they are being "ruled by." Of course, you might come to the decision that you don't want to love him and that is a possibility--but don't hide behind the cliche' "i'm not in love anymore.."
2006-07-27 15:45:19 · answer #2 · answered by hopscothchbunnies 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't beleive it is possible to ever fall out of love! with that said, i guess the real question is , were you truely in love?. now from the sounds of it, things are moving fast, and that can be scary, i think you both should down and talk to each otherof what your looking for, have a time line if needed! but dont just throw in the towel. for if there is love there, u will always long for it, if not well, i guess just a ninch on the belt of life! now i shall leave you with something i wrote and it applys very much! enjoy, an good luck !
REASONS FOR LIFE
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right
away that they were meant to be there…to serve some sort of
purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or
who you want to become. You never know who these people
may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very
moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may
seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize
that without overcoming those obstacles you would never
realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance
or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true
greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.
Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly
paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable
but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The successes and
downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and
the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are
probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone
hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them
because they have helped you learn about trust and the
importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not
only because they love you, but also because they are
teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little
things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything
that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and
actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set
your sights high. Hold you head up because you have
every right to.Tell yourself you are a great individual
and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself,
no one else will believe in you. Create you own life and
then go out and live it. ...12/10/2002...TJP
2006-07-27 15:52:40 · answer #3 · answered by close_my_eyes2002 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Falling out of love involves feelings of total indifference and disinterest in what your ex does, says or experiences. If you are both still making plans to marry and have some doubts, that is normal and should motivate you to seek answers from your mate about future plans that are incomplete. Have you a prenuptial agreement, since your plans are not yet final? Try writing down your most annoying fear about the future of your relationship . Then seek answers within yourself , from your significant other and from outside resources of information that are known to be reliable. Best wishes to you.
2006-07-27 15:46:25 · answer #4 · answered by Jess4rsake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if you are just scared. Maybe things are moving too fast for you. How about taking things slower. When YOU are ready to move in with him, then do so. I do suggest that you do live together for awhile before marriage, like about a year, so you can be sure that you are compatible. This is what my fiance and I are doing. I didn't do that with my ex husband and we were NOT compatible at all!! I sure wish I had found out before we got married!
I would say that you need to talk with your boyfriend about your feelings. It sounds as if you love him, but you just need to take things slower until you are ready for all of these big plans. These are big steps in a persons life. Maybe move in together but don't talk about marriage for awhile so you can see if you are compatible and you can get used to the idea of being with him, in the same house, 24/7. Once you are used to that, then talk about marriage.
2006-07-27 15:35:50 · answer #5 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Scared, you seem to be suffering from being human(lol) as most men ususally do, it is perfectly normal, and reality is starting to sit in- i would only call this doubt if you don't or are not ready to be settled down with just one person- and you want to run the streets other than that I think it is just a little anxiety- very normal!
2006-07-27 15:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by kimberly R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Falling out of love feels cold and empty. You look and the person and see a stranger instead of your loved one. You don't really know them anymore, and you don't really care. You feel the distance between you growing wider and wider. If this is not addressed ASAP the feelings will wither and die. Get to work on adding the spark back into your lives now or it will be over soon.
2006-07-27 15:37:26 · answer #7 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't marrie him, Falling out of love is like--- thinking you still fel the same way then you'll think you just don't see yourself having a life with him! You really honestly love him as a freind or a bro.But you dont know it yet.
2006-07-27 15:47:04 · answer #8 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are not ready for life changing events.Ur just scared.Move in together but dont get married in a year or 2.Just wait and see what happens.Take things slow........Goodluck to you!!
2006-07-27 15:43:38 · answer #9 · answered by cutiepie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im in the same sistuation but ive been dating him for 8 months and hes losing insterst i would tell you your just scared but then id be lieing to you Your falling out
2006-07-27 15:32:52 · answer #10 · answered by chaos_theory_1991 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋