2006-07-27 08:13:50 · 34 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no its not. You would be cheating and you lose everything
2006-07-27 08:16:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oy, gotta love the close-minded knee-jerk answers people give.
However, they're partly right - it's not ok. It doesn't make you a bad person and you're not cheating just by being in love, but it *will* harm your marriage if you don't do something about it.
You can love other people, even the opposite sex, when you're married but being "in love" implies that there's something stronger and more consuming than the way you would love a very close and dear friend. The problem with love like that is that it draws your thoughts and your emotions and energy to that person, taking the focus away from your marriage, where it should be. It also gives that other person power over your marriage, which is for you and your husband only.
It won't be fun, but, if you value your marriage, you need to cool it with the other person until you get your emotions under control. If that means you can't ever see them again, then so be it. Hopefully you won't have to take such drastic measures, but marriage is hard and sometimes it takes sacrifice to make it work.
Now, if you *don't* value your marriage, then you have other problems, and it's still probably a good idea to distance yourself from this man so you can take a hard look at your marriage with a clear head. It would really suck if you screwed up your marriage and it turned out that you were just infatuated with this guy or that you're not compatible with him or that he's not as into you as you thought he was.
2006-07-27 08:27:32 · answer #2 · answered by Dan C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK? NO, speaking from painful personal experience, it is not ok. You may not be able to help it, but that's another thing all together. Do you also still love your husband? If so, I'd say the earlier advice about avoiding this new man is good. If this happened because your feelings for your husband are no longer there, then you have a bigger problem. Do not even consider an affair--you will lose your self-respect. Even if the other man is ok with cheating, do you want to be involved with a sneak? You may need to think about a divorce, and at a minimum I'd recommend counseling. Start with counseling for yourself, and if you want to save your marriage, ask your husband to join you for couples counseling.
2006-07-27 08:32:44 · answer #3 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, I have the same question. All the answers you are going to get here are, nooooooo!!!! It is going to feel like somone is throwing the bible at you left and right. Not anyone that has ever really been in that spot. However, I am in that spot.. I am having a terrible time trying to figure out what is right what is not, and the wonderful FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.... I understand where you are coming from and I wish people would not be so judgemental, and realize that people are human and we make mistakes and all fall in love for whatever the reasons are...
2006-07-27 08:31:25 · answer #4 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure that you feel victim to your own emotions but you have made a commitment to your spouse. I suggest you get yourself as far away from this other man as possible and find out what is really missing in your own marriage that made your eyes wander in the first place.
The easiest way to decide if something is ok in your marriage or not is to discuss it with your spouse. If you cannot talk to him about this then you are probably not in the right.
2006-07-27 09:01:02 · answer #5 · answered by peachiegirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There really isn't anyway around loving someone, whether you're married or not the feelings can't be helped. But, if you act out your emotions and do something physical with this guy, then you're just a big 'ol gaping slut. You'd be just another Jezabelle and the world would HATE YOU! YA TRAMP! Also, people who cheat get HERPES! So, if you want an STD then go right ahead, you god damn cheatin' whore. I hope your husband leaves your *** in the cold hard city streets.
2006-07-27 08:18:47 · answer #6 · answered by Elijah S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it "OK"? According to who?
You will not be happy - Is that OK?
If you do nothing and say nothing, you might
minimize the effect on others, but your husband
will probably notice - certainly it will degrade your
relationship. Is that OK?
You love who you love. Its more a matter of what
you DO about it.
If you can manage to never see the person
you love, do you think things will slowly improve
with your husband?
Do you want to ditch hubby for this guy?
"Is it OK" really is a question directed at a person.
If you are asking for OUR permission, you are
choosing a pretty strange audience.
2006-07-27 08:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by Elana 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a funny thing, it has no boundaries and is indiscriminate. It is also like a drug and like any drug it has its purposes and can easily be abused. I wouldn't say that it is wrong. But, however, what may be wrong is how you allowed yourself to be put in that situation. Now on the other hand it can just be a sheer infatuation. Know that loving someone is natural and normal. I think you need to govern your emotions before you make that assumption that your in love. Out side influences can only make it worse by forcing themselves on you with I love you. You get fished and allow your self to get caught up in falsified emotion. If you should love someone love your self and your husband and let what ever flame you ignited suppress its self.
2006-07-27 08:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by skawp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure it's ok. I would say it's inevitable to find others attractive even if you are married. You can't help who you fall in love with.
However, you *can* control what you do physically with this person. If you have agreed in your marriage to remain sexually faithful to each other, then you owe it to yourself and your husband to stay away from situations with this other man that could lead to your cheating.
Don't go out with this guy socially. If he's at the workplace and you can't avoid him, keep things strictly business. If you can't break your love for him, find another job to save your marriage. Don't give into temptations to be near this guy. It will ruin your marriage if you have agreed to be sexually faithful to your husband.
2006-07-27 08:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's ok to be in love w/somebody else...can't really help those feelings, once you get them.
The wrong part would be to act on em..so i would either get a divorce, or get this other person out of ur life, if not, its gonna get messy and u guys will all get hurt
2006-07-27 08:19:11 · answer #10 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because it happens, don't mean it's OK. You shouldn't have gotten married if that is the case. Things may not work out if you're not wholeheartedly into your marriage to your husband.
2006-07-27 08:17:50 · answer #11 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋