It is a long story but I need some serious advice. I am 6 months pregnant. I initially hid it from my boyfriend-I was afraid of his reaction. Please don't judge me-you do not know the background. I finally told him a little while back. He tried to make me get a late-term abortion, but I didn't. He finally resorted to kicking me out of the house 2 nights ago. We've been living together 2+years. I told him I would pay for the baby, and was not asking him for anything other than moral support while I was going through this. He has made my life a hell. I have tried to be patient and supportive of him. But this is too much. He tells me he can't live with me until the baby is born because he won't deal with my pregnancy. I am staying with my mom for now, but I am heartbroken. He is under stress as well (not an excuse) because his J-1 Visa expires in November and is in the middle of getting H-1 status. He says he doesn't need to deal with these problems. It hurts so much, I feel like dying.
2006-07-27 08:07:53 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't know which answer to say was the best..everyone was extremely helpful and caring about this..I wish I could give you all ten points a piece..On a personal level, I still do not know what I am going to do, but it is nice to have the support from the online community. I honestly thought that I was alone here..
2006-07-29 18:45:31 · update #1
You poor dear. I will not judge you and no-one should. You are having a hard time (to put it mildly). I am sure you are scared but why are you hanging onto this man? (I use the term 'man' loosely)He is not offering you anything that you so seriously need right now such as safety for you and the child, a future, or stability. He is not offering support or even a gentle word. Your pregnancy was a mutual act but from the sounds of it it was very selfish on his part and you should get counseling as soon as possible. As hard as it sounds you should leave this man and go to a church or call an agency that deals with this sort of matter. They are listed in the yellow pages of any phone book in any city. As hard as it seems to hear, you will get no help from this man and later in life you will count your blessings. Good luck to you, my dear and please keep my e-mail address if you need someone to talk to.
Just so that you know, I too, was pregnant and in a situation such as you are in. It was 25 years ago and today I have a son who has learned the value of family even though we were only a family of two. It wasn't easy but I raised him on his own and he now has two children of his own that he is raisng without their mother (She was involved with drugs). So the decisions that you make can teach your child that you can be weak and let some uncaring person cause you and the child misery or you can teach the child that you can come through anything with your head held high.Teach the child strength- and it starts with your choice to let go of a man who does not wish to be held accountable for his responsiblities. Anyone can have a problem, it is how we handle our problems that make us the people we are.
Go forward and raise your child with love and self-RESPECT. And it starts with the decisions that you make now.
2006-07-27 08:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by chitchat1012003 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear I'm sorry to here that you have to go though such a hard time at such a time as this your being pregnant is suppose to be a happy time Sounds like you made some bad decisions that are now coming back to bite you in the butt. the moving part was bad but let's deal with it don't go back after the child is born unless your married you put yourself were you have no control over your place of residents get your own place don't let somebody tell you if you can stay or not. and PLEASE don't take the baby in this inviourment Do whats good for you and the child. There's only one you don't spend most of your life unhappy and with regrets. Take good care of yourself and the child.
GOD BLESS AND WELL BEING TO YOU
2006-07-27 08:20:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick the loser to the curb, you don't need to be with such a jerk. He's stressed out the poor baby, let him try being pregnant for a while and see how he likes that. You are better off without him. Make sure you talk to a lawyer about child support. Also, how did he kick you out of your own house? If you go back to him after the baby is born you're a bigger jerk than he is. Your baby deserves a loving environment which he clearly can't provide. Get your life together without the loser father of your child because clearly he can't be depended upon. I mean what kind of *** kicks a pregnant woman out of her own house?
2006-07-27 08:13:24 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through a similar situation where my daughter's father did not want me to have her and said he would make my life a living hell. He was not there for me during my whole pregnancy and eventually decided to do lamaze class with me. I did everything except lamaze and he was there for our daughter's birth. Throughout the nine months I endured verbal abuse and emotional abuse! I don't wish it upon any woman but I realized after 2 years after my daughter was born that enough was enough. I resented him and most of all I lost total respect for him. I did not trust him because I found out that all along he had been cheating on me! You deserve so much better and so does your child! The stress you are going through can affect your baby because my daughter was born so small due to my stress! Good luck and remember you are not alone. Be the strong woman that you are and will continue to be!
2006-07-27 08:18:16 · answer #4 · answered by latina311204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's an ***, I'd leave him and raise ur baby on your own, i know it hurts but think about the baby. Turn all your hurt and anger towards loving the baby and providing for u and ur child, I'm only a month pregnant and I could never imagine my husband acting the way you b/f did. My mom raised my brother and i by working 3 jobs and not worrying about anyone but herself and her kids, you need to do the same. My mom eventaully got married again and had more kids, but u deserve something better than ur b/f. Good Luck, love the baby with all ur heart and don't get discouraged.
2006-07-27 08:15:08 · answer #5 · answered by Jen S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, It doesn't matter if he was under tress he was suppose to be there for you. What make it worse he kicked you out, what happened if you didn't no place to stay and you are 6 months pregnant. I don't think this guy care about you at all. I don't know the reason why he leave you in his home but, i believe he have an interest for letting you leave with him. Maybe when get paid at work you gave him the check, i don't know what is it. In my opinion you should stay away from this man, if he is not supp roting you know he won't in the future. Open your eyes girl, and good luck with everything!
2006-07-27 08:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by Niselove25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My heart breaks for you and your baby but from the little bit of detail you provided it sounds like your boyfriend has no interest in being a father. His actions are showing you that you cannot count on him for help or support so you will have to find it elsewhere.
It is most likely time to move on from this relationship. It sounds like you are reluctant to let go but is a man who can kick a pregnant mother out who is carrying his child just because he has problems of his own really the type of man you want to spend your life with? You love him and it hurts - but you now have a responsibility to care for not only yourself but your baby too.
Be a good example to your child by standing up for yourself, taking care of yourself and not letting this man make you any less of a person.
A broken heart hurts, but it will heal. Concentrate now on making good decisions for both you and your baby. No matter what stress he is under - this man is doing little to earn your trust.
2006-07-27 08:13:57 · answer #7 · answered by Tamborine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the guy is a moron you deserve so much better. take it from me if the guy is not there for you and his baby then you need to move on. Don't make excuses for him, he is an *** and needs to grow up, its hard to raise a baby by yourself but it can be done. My sis is doing it. Just get support from your mother and friends. Also sign up for the state funded day care asst. sign up now there is always a long list. you can get day care through them for like 5 dollars a week. its a hard road but you will come out on top my niece is 5 and my sister is now making enough money to afford a great life for her daughter. Things have a way of working themselves out. Just stay strong and try not to stress out to much thats not good for the baby. And most of all leave the jerk, you don't need to added stress of dealing with his drama
2006-07-27 08:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well u cant die bc u r pregnant, n ur baby should come first. so get rid of him, get u some child support, go on with ur life, u dont need a person like that in ur life or the babies life. i mean do u really want someone who dont want his own child in ur life? i would hope not. u have to think about ur child now instead of him or urself. so start makin plans for ur life n ur childs life. some otha man will come along n be a better father to ur child. if its a girl n u concider giving her up i would love to have her. email me directly. i really would hope u keep him or her tho. i have 3 teenage boys now n we cant have anymore due to my ovaries n all but we so much wanted a lil girl.. kids are what makes the mothers heart cry. they are so great too. cherish everything ur child does. keep a scrap book of it too so u can share the memories with him / her. i wish u well n hope u listen to me..if u need more help just email me, ill be here for u..i dont judge, i support.. i got free long distance too so i can call u, name is danys 712-854-0119. use it if u need to
2006-07-27 08:15:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
everybody goes through times like these.....
NO OFFENSE but like how could u kick out a 6 month pregnant women out on the street i mean that is like the worse thing i heard of .....(thankfully u have your mother : D) but what i suggest is that u break up with him .....NOW I think you should give the baby up for adoption to a family that really wants a baby but can't have one of their own. Yes its very difficult to give up your baby .......but think of it this way you got a clean slate you can start ur life again get a GREAT job make money buy a big house find a man and settle in and have a baby!!! : D now i mean u probably not goin to put it up for adoption but think you can make another family soooooooo happy
2006-07-27 08:19:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋