Alright, I have this friend that is becoming way out of line with another friend of mine, she keeps saying R-rated things to him that he doesnt exactly appriciate, it makes him uncomfortable. I think its going to damage my relationship with him because i associate with her. So how do you kindly tell her to please stop saying naughty things to him and to act respectfull for not only him, but me too?
2006-07-27 07:56:50 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
by the way he is too polite to say anything
2006-07-27 08:00:32 · update #1
I would have a discussion with my friend and be non-confrontational and say something like "I am not sure you realize it, but when you say ______ it makes (insert name) really uncomfortable. I value my friendship with both of you and don't want any discomfort between any of us...."
2006-07-27 08:01:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer J 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
From what you've described, this doesn't call for kindness. A suggestion would be to sit your friend down privately, look her squarely in the eye, and say, in a firm and assertive manner, that you find her remarks toward this boy inappropriate and uncalled for. Tell her you like her very much, but that her behavior is threatening your friendship with another person, and that you will not tolerate this kind of thing. Say that you value your relationship with her, but that what she is doing is inconsiderate, and if she cannot behave in a civil manner, she simply needs to stay away from situations where you and boy are together.
2006-07-27 15:16:08 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just come right out and say it. If she is a friend to you, then she will appreciate the honesty. If she isn't a real friend, then why would you want her in your life. If that isn't the route you want to go, then have the man tell her that he doesn't like it and is offended. He isn't her friend, so it really shouldn't matter what he says. You can still be friends with both of them and not do things with each other at the same time.
2006-07-27 15:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend writing her a letter to say how you feel but DON'T SEND IT - just get your feelings sorted out. Then you can have a clear head, decide what to say to her in person. Focus on the fact that you don't want to lose her as a friend.
2006-07-27 15:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by LisaT 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he has to stop being a wimp and tell her himself, you aren't his mother and if it doesn't bother you then you shouldn't be the one to correct him. You have the right to associate with whoever you want to and he has nothing to say about it.
Tell him to get a spine or just hang out with him without her in the picture, if she asks why explain to her that he isn't comfortable with her language and if she behaves herself you will hang with her again. But ultimately it has to be him to speak up.
2006-07-27 15:00:59 · answer #5 · answered by marianlaughs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
point blank...just straight up tell her that he doesn't like it and for her to stop. I'm surprised the guy doesn't say anything to her! Be completely honest with her explaining how he doesn't like it, and its starting to make him think of you the same way. Tell her that she can talk that way with just you, if it doesn't bother you, or other guys....but to hold it in when your one friends around. And just hope that she stops.
2006-07-27 15:01:48 · answer #6 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not sugar coat it! If she likes him, that's obviously not gonna get it. She needs to be an adult about the situation and ask him for what ever she is seeking, although it may be to late. Tell her straight and be very frank in letting her know that her behavior is offensive and inappropriate!
2006-07-27 15:01:34 · answer #7 · answered by M D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about your guy friend speaking up for himself? He needs to tell her it is inappropriate - not you.
I'm sure some part of his ego gets off on it...and he tells you about it just to get a reaction from you. Kinda like gossip.
PS - If he's too nice to say something, that's just bogus...he's too weak. What are you going to do next - wipe his butt for him?
2006-07-27 15:01:35 · answer #8 · answered by Nightwish 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could she be jealous of you or could she have a crush on him? Bet the answer is yes - look deeper at her - watch her actions around you both.
I suggest not having her around anytime your with him who needs a friend like that?
2006-07-27 15:01:22 · answer #9 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she thinks she is flirting.
HE needs to have the guts to tell he he doens't like her trash talk, and if you are around, you can do whatever you can to discourage her. It might be a nice gesture to pull her aside and tell her that her trash talk is NOT appreciated by men. Most men don't really find filthy mouths that appealing.
2006-07-27 15:00:35 · answer #10 · answered by KB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋