Teen Parents.... Whats the big deal?

Question

I'm was wondering why does everyone think so bad of teens that get pregnant before marriage? I was 17 when I got pregnant with my son and I'm 19 now. I work a good job and I'm in college, his father also works and supports us and lives with us. Is there something wrong with that? I'm noticing that a lot of people my own age frown down upon that. Honestly, yes we had unprotected sex and as a result we had a beautiful son. I was young of course he was 20 at the time and will be 22 soon. But, we live as a family and we support our son. Is it really that bad because I'm young? What is your opinion? I know in my opinion there's nothing wrong with it because we take care of our child. I'm just curious to know what other people think. PLEASE NO RUDE COMMENTS

Just because I'm 19 doesn't mean I'm on welfare. But, thanks for that comment lady I'm respect your feelings. to answer your questions. I have medical insurance so I paid what my insurance doesn't cover and as parents we together share the cost in everything from bottles to doctor visits. Thank you. Also to the other lady people sin every day, no one is perfect

I work doing workman's comp collections which I think is a really good job and his father works in the medical field as a CNA. So, its not like we aren't making good money.

Answer 1

I'm pretty much in the same situation. I got pregnant at 17 while being on birth control. I also got pregnant again at 18 while being on birth control. I have never been on welfare. My fiance and I both work. I actually just went back to work 2 weeks ago so I can go BACK to college. I graduated high school with a 4.0 and had a 3.8 in college. I think people that judge teen moms without thinking about their circumstances are just jealous they don't have so good. They see a happy family and are jealous because their husband is cheating with the babysitter or something like that. As far as the part about not being married, who cares? These people can sit and say it's not right in God's eyes but what do they know? Are they God? Are they perfect? My fiance's grandfather is a preacher. He has never judged us at all for the way we live. Marriage today is nothing more than a piece of paper. I already have 9 college credits. I'm taking a break and going back next year. I'm going to be a registered nurse. So I wonder, people don't think nurses make decent money? A lot of people think they know everything there is to know about life when they don't. It shouldn't matter if your 17 or 37 when you get pregnant. All that matters is that you are able to care for your child.

Answer 2

I'm 21, and had my son at 20. I had him because I wanted a child, and because unlike most young mothers, i'm actually FINANCIALLY SECURE.

If you consider working a minimum wage job good, I don't think you should have kids.

You need an education so you can get a real job.

Yes, sure, SOMEBODY has to work a minimum wage job because then there wouldn't be stores and restaurants, etc.
But the only time having a minimum wage job is acceptable is when you're young, in school, and don't have the education [YET] for a real job. Also, older individuals can have minimum wage jobs IF they don't have ANY kids to support.

Otherwise, GET A REAL JOB!

You want your son to have a QUALITY LIFE, not a crappy privilaged life where you have to struggle just to buy him a new pair of shoes.

You can have kids and be young if you're rich, or financially secure. Like Britney Spears, for example.

ANYWAY, It's not just about the money...Why would you want a child at 17?! YOU were still a KID when you had you KID. That's way too young! That's crazy!
Only crazy, pro-life, ignorant, bible freak, fools have children that early because they are pro-life and stupid. The only book they've ever read in their life is the bible and they can't think on their own. A stupid book full of sh*t helps them through life.
It's true, Most pro-life religious freaks are highschool drop outs and never get a real job. They end up working at mcdonalds or other crappy minimum wage places.

Forget god! Get an education, get a real job, get on with your life. Don't be an ignorant fool with 10 kids who you can not support by the time you are 25.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I agree with you. And actually its not that uncommon for a 17 year old with a baby to step up and be responisble. You just dont hear about them as often as you do the ones who won't. Cuz they don't complain they dont ask for help, they just take care of thier kids. I am 19 and pregnant with my first. My boyfriend and I live together support each other and we have since before I got pregnant. We do everything in preperation for our child together. Even being almost 20 years old we have to hear so much crap from people. Not only that but when I first got pregnant we were finacially stable both with good jobs and everything. Than when I was 5 months pregnant I got fired from my job pretty much because I was physically unable to do the job anymore. Nobody wanted to hire me @ 5 months pregnant so we ended up having to get WIC and medicaid. Does that make me a "welfare" case too? No. It doesn't. Fact is stuff happens you can not plan for in life. It happens everyday. Still people say we are sinners and blah blah blah. Why dont you get married and blah blah blah. Fact is a ton of people get married just because they are having a child together and years later that child is put through the tragedy of a divorce. There is nothing wrong with the way you or I live and I am betting you are a damn good mother! So next time someone says something to you about getting married use my favorite response and say "well the divorce rate in the US is 50% of all marriages, odds are better for us this way!"
have fun with your child and live life to the fullest!

Answer 4

I'm glad it's all working out for you and for your family. But, you must realize that you're lucky to still be able to go to college and to still have the support of the father. Many, many teen moms end up having to drop out of school in order to provide for their kids because the fathers are no longer around and it's just too hard to do alone. Also, you were 17 which hopefully means you had a little more emotional maturity than the 14 and 15 year old that are getting pregnant; kids are just not often prepared for raising kids. The overall negative opinion of teens becoming parents isn't a result of families like you who are making it work, it's the result of the ones that aren't and are a burden on the system because of it.

Answer 5

I have plenty of rude comments but I will spare you. Listen...all I can say is that when I was 17 I thought I knew it all. I am 24 now and boy was I wrong. The longer you wait to have kids the better it is for them because you gain maturity that you don;t have at age 17, 18, 19 or even 20.

You still have A LOT to learn about life and it is not fair to try to raise a child before you have learned what you need to know. It takes way more then money and love to raise a child.

Answer 6

i completley understand how you feel! I am 19 years old and i have 2 beautiful girls, 1 is 3 the other is 1. i am married to their dad and have been with him for 5 years, we both go to work and earn our own money we do not have any benifits atall and i am proud of that. You seem like a good enough parent to me. People out there just think us young mums dont know what we are doing. But hey, what would you rather do... Have a child young and be able to grow up with them or have a child when you are older and probably die before the time they are a teenager?
Keep up the good work girl you semm to be doing a fine job, and ignore peoples rude comments, they are probably jealous that we have time and energy to run about after our kids and actually play with them!

Answer 7

Well I going through the same thing I'm 19 and my husband is 21 and we have a little girl and everybody just looks at me funny or says something rude. I really can't tell you why people are like that but I can't stand it. We are just a family like any other family we take care of our child and ourselves we are not on welfare at all and people always have something to says most of the time it is older people that say something . I think that there is nothing wrong with be a young parent or having a young family as long as you and your child are well taking care of.

Answer 8

To answer you question from society's standpoint, I believe that most people are desensitize to unwed mother's. I believe those that are, don't particularly care if you are a teen, if you are married, if you had unprotected sex, or whether you and the father are providing for the child at all. I do believe from the Christian's point of view that the Bible and it's teachings are what our ideals should be based on. It teaches that women and men should abstain from sexual relations until the vows of marriage have been taken. This unity provides not only a name for that child, but also the foundation that God ask to provide for that child and for the marriage. I would like to hope this answer will spark and interest to pursue this topic furthur using the Bible or maybe asking a spiritual leader. There is alot more to it I think than just taking care of your child's physical needs. Good luck!

Answer 9

The problem is that generally, teen parents are NOT responsible. From your description of yourself, you sound like an extreme exception. Generally both parents are not involved in the baby's life, and do not support the child. Children have the right to have two loving parents who love each other. For the most part teenagers are simply not emotionally mature enough to be able to be selfless and give up their own interests for the best interests of a child and family.
Frequently it is not the teen parents who are ultimately being responsible for their baby-- the new grandparents and the tax payers are often the ones who have to take financial responsibility for the baby.

Answer 10

I didn't look down on teens that had children when I was a teen and I still don't, because I knew that I was doing the same thing that they where at the time I was just lucky that I never got pregnant, and I don't mean lucky as in you're not lucky, but I myself wasn't ready to have a child and personally I couldn't have dealt with the pressure of raising a child and going to school and working at such a young age. I admire you for taking responsibility and raising your son in a loving environment.