I've tried speaking with him to get an understanding of why, but he just says he's too lazy! Huh? We've been drifting apart for a couple of years, but we still kiss and cuddle - just no hanky spanky.
I've tried to initiate sex, but he just runs away, or he'll let me give him a bj, but he never does anything in return. What to do? I've even wondered if he's gay, but the porn on his computer confirms he's not.
As a woman (mid 30's), I need to feel attractive and sexy, and this I get from other men. I don't sleep around, but I do have a part-time lover who def makes me feel attractive and alive!
2006-07-27 07:48:16 · 34 answers · asked by Curly Locks 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No your justified in ending the relationship and finding a new one.
2006-07-27 07:50:44 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel like I wrote this myself. All I can say is good luck. But, in my opinion, you are not justified in getting it elsewhere. I cheated last December because I needed to feel "attractive and sexy" and let me tell you, it was a wonderful weekend. But when I returned home, I was so ate up with guilt that I told my bf. We almost broke up but decided our relationship was worth working through this. Things (sexually) were better for a while, but now we're back in the same rut again. I'm 38 today and he's 41.
I'm not sure what I'm gonna do, but I don't think that I can go the cheating route again. Thank goodness I've got a good vibrator. Good luck to you.
2006-07-27 08:13:13 · answer #2 · answered by Denise T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might not get satisfied when he does it with you and I’m sure he has his own reasons for it. That’s why he is trying to avoid you. The porn on his computer proves that he is interested in different things (read better) than you. He probably still likes you but just doesn’t like the sex, either of you could cause this but that’s not what matters. Let him go, maybe he will be happy with someone else. Maybe you guys could be regular friends?
2006-07-27 11:11:36 · answer #3 · answered by Sina R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just start a new with somebody else. its sad to say but some relationships go stale and its all about give and take if you are thinking of straying cut the strings with him and save yourself the guilt of cheating and trying to justify your actions like you are now.
Life is too short to stay in a stale relationship you could get hit by a bus an killed tomorrow you never know what is around the next corner. Think about it if hes like this in his 30's god help you in 10-15 times you will be so miserable.
Walk away find somebody who is as passionate as you. you will not look back and regret it but if you stay in this dire straights then you will
2006-07-27 08:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by sarah090182woodhead 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry. I feel bad for you. Don't feel bad for getting it elsewhere because he is getting it from all the porn. Porn has now become a major issue in most households when men prefer porn to their partner. You should leave him if possible, but if you can't or don't want to then getting it elsewhere may be your only choice. Good luck and I hope things work out for you. I am not sure why I just feel so sorry for you and bad about what is happening. I really do hope things work out for you.
2006-07-28 08:06:36 · answer #5 · answered by NJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The whole thing is a joke. He will let you give him a bj but wont touch you otherwise and you do it ????????? So he treats you bad, wont have sex with you and is not your husband and you already have a part time lover and are thinking about bringing on some more. Whats the point of your relationship exactly ?
2006-07-27 07:54:47 · answer #6 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The harsh reality that people don't understand is, what you don't get at home, you will some where else. I have been in that situation and it was not pretty because I was vulnerable and not as careful as I should have been and as a result have another child outside of what my GF and I have. So be careful! I know that I was not in the right mind and really didn't care because I was so pissed off about my home situation. So do your thing but do it responsively!
2006-07-27 07:54:37 · answer #7 · answered by M D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well strictly speaking not really. Does your bloke know about this lover? If so then its ok. Why dont you just ditch your lazy **** boyfriend and get yourself a man that makes you feel attractive and alive on a regular basis?
2006-07-27 07:52:44 · answer #8 · answered by Moi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi there,
well a question, a part time lover.
isn't that considered as cheating?
Well if sex is important thing, look around for a person who makes u feel reall sexy. don't stop at one, not at two but find out who is the best.
if you want to hold onto your current bf, try talking to him. Tell him that you WANT SEX and it is what HE IS NOT GIVING You.
cheers,
Gyaan Guru
2006-07-27 07:55:12 · answer #9 · answered by Gyaan Guru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, get it elsewhere, but split up with your bf first. You are obviously mismatched and therefore it cannot be a long term thing. You being in your 30's, you may want kids, he is too lazy to even make them... move on.
2006-07-27 09:16:03 · answer #10 · answered by ribena 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your guy might know about your lover and is holding back or it could be that he has a problem and feels too embarrassed to get help. porn may turn him on but he may fear losing his erection or find it difficult to express himself to you. no you don't go elsewhere. if you really love him you stay faithful but get yourself some toys..he may decide to join in and then things will get going again. cheatng is weakness in you. if you want to leave then leave and be a woman about it. i think he's suspicious of you and is holding back though.
2006-07-27 07:54:14 · answer #11 · answered by minerva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋