What's a best friend?

Question

What’s a best friend?

Are you a best friend?
In my family, we were not taught to be friends but then I found out thru self-esteem work that a best friend is:
100% loyal, trustworthy, caring, (gently) HONEST & TRUTHFUL, . Never talks behind your back and/or gives away your secrets. Is kind, loving, helpful, accepting of all your feelings and interests. Listens respectfully and with interest. Will NEVER, EVER be critical, jealous, indifferent, (unreasonably) angry, sarcastic, make sadistic jokes, and/or turn on you whenever they are in the mood. Is encouraging, helpful, stands by you, is a lot of fun and playful.
These are only a few of the characteristics of a best friend.
What are some of your traits/skills as a best friend? Where and how did you learn these skills? Got any websites for acquiring the traits and skills of a BEST FRIEND?

someone has pointed out that a best friend may occassionally make mistakes and do something to hurt you.
I forgot to add that a best friend will sincerely appologize for their mistakes and not let them happen again. if the mistakes occur over and over along with some apology, this is not a best friend, IMO. if the best friend is hurting you and apologizing over and over, trust is damaged and very difficult to rebuid since the friend is no longer responsible for their actions. sure no one is perfect and that's where ammends and forgiveness comes into it.

i'd have to say that my current wife is my best friend. we made a pact to be best friensd NO MATTER WHAT. sorry i can't say that about my previous marriage but then, i wasn't a best friend either. i have no websites but could recommen a lot of books that detail the traits of a best friend and methods to become a best friend if you were raised without that knowledge/skill. what's interesting is that the skills for best friendship are natural, easy and tremendously rewarding once you have them - even if you had a hostile, untrustworthy upbringing.

thanks for the replies - it'll be very difficult to decide which of these excellent responses is 'best' - might just leave it to a vote.

Answer 1

I think an important thing to remember about best friends is that they're human too. To me, a best friend isn't someone who "never gets critical" (after all, sometimes a best friend will tell what you need to hear!) or "never gets jealous" (everybody gets jealous sometimes!) and so forth -- because nobody's perfect, and everyone gets unreasonably angry once in awhile or makes mistakes.

To me, a best friend is someone who still does things wrong, makes mistakes, and maybe even hurts you - but who knows just how to make amends for it, and genuinely loves you underneath all those other factors (like stress!) that pile up on top. And a best friend hopefully understands that you'll make mistakes too!

I think if you find a best friend who "never" does anything bad, then you either found someone who lies, or you don't have a truly deep relationship.

And I think that important "best friend" qualities really come out when you're having a hard time. A "best friend" should stick by you, empathize with you, and tell you to "move on!" when you need to hear it!

Answer 2

Everything you said is a best friend. It's someone that you can be yourself with, someone that will never judge you and will always forget your stupid ways. Basically someone that loves you unconditionally and you are able to return that love.

Yes, I have and am a best friend. You learn it by living it, letting your heart feel this wonderful friendship. They say if at the end of your life you have only had 5 true best friends, you are a very lucky person to have enjoyed such a rare gift.

It takes time, patience, respect and love to develop a 'true' friendship. I have 4 girlfriends that I have know for nearly 20 years now. They have been with me through just about everything, boyfriends, broken hearts and the death of my parents. Sometimes no words are spoken, just having them close is all I need. I to have been with each of them through many trial and tribulations, births of their children and loss of loved ones as well.

I guess I am saying find someone who shares your interests and you have fun with, let that relationship develop and always remember....the only way to have a friend is to be one. Good luck to you, I hope you enjoy your journey.

Answer 3

I have a best friend. I know the hard stuff and the easy stuff. A best friend is someone that you can talk to and they won't go and tell everybody, unless it's really funny. They'll be there to cheer you up when you're stressed out or sad. They'll invite themselves over too. lol. Atleast mine does. Sometimes, they'll spend hard earned money just to buy you something to let you know they love you like a brother/sister. They expect you to do the same things for them too... so don't get too comfortable. lol

Answer 4

Sounds like you answered your own question. But keep in mind that we are human and therefore fallible. A Best friend could lack some of those traits and still be a best friend. It's all a matter of perception on your part.

Answer 5

I am a best friend. I believe a best friend is someone who is always there when you need them no matter what. I have stood by my best friend for 24 years. Been through it all, abusive husbands, dead beat dads, miscarriages, having children, and now she has AIDS and I'm still standing right beside her. Sometimes I stand behind her to give her a little push when she needs it.

Answer 6

I learn them by reading the book How To Be Your Own Best Friend.

Answer 7

A friend indeed is a friend in need...LOL

Well...for me a best friend is someone who stays when everybody turns their back on you, someone who understand you and listen to your ups and down without being judgemental, someone who cares about you and always support you no matter how bad the decision you made (although they've sometimes warn you if you'r making bad decision)....

My best friends...I love you so....

Answer 8

A best friend will take your call at 4 in the morning

Answer 9

A friend will bail you out of jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in the holding cell saying ":Damn, that was fun."

Answer 10

OMG....OMG..... you know "my best friend"??????

lmao ...a best friend..in a nut shell...is someone who accepts you ...just the way you are...takes the good with the bad and still loves you...and vice versa...

you seem to have the answer already....lets give a big CHEER to all our best friends out there....

I love you Steven!!!! my best friend...