Is it possible to not be part of the problem or the solution? Check out the details.?

Question

Isn't that called minding your business? I asked earlier what the deal with Coming out. My view is simple, the way a gay person feels towards oppo sex relations is how I feel towards same sex relations. It's revolting. So I don't care to see it or be around it. Thats not cause for destruction no-one deserves to be beat up or whatever. I guess my question is why do people give me so much Sh** for not caring. I went through this with my Mom and Dad, Mom left dad to go be Gay or whatever. So I hated her for a long time as a kid, for what she did to my pops he was good. Now I just don't care, she trys to involve me and as long as it's just her cool. If her girlfriends come around I'm out or I'm an asshole towards the situation. People tell me to grow up, Fu** you. The best thing I can do for Gay people is not care. I'm not a bigot or anything. I'm a lil open here so don't be a jerk but if you have some input I'll listen.

Pops, ha ha very funny and you people don't like being told what you can and can't do. I'm still not a bigiot though I never beat any one up or bashed. I just have an Ahole for a Mom. Thanks for clearing that up for me I get it now.

To the last two answeres easier said then done.

If she had a dude I'd be skeptical and maybe a wee bit less of an ***. It would take him just as much convincing as it would her GF to let them in my life. How do you deal with that at 8 years old Mom doens't like dad anymore, doesn't anyone get that. Or is it really all about her and her life.

Answer 1

Ok basically you are transferring your feelings for your mom to all gay people on the planet. But you for one should know we are simply....people. On some level you still love your mom and are hurt by what she did. Not just to your dad but also to you. She's your mom for Christs sake. You only ever get one. And you have to remember, she didn't choose to be gay. Anymore than you chose to be straight. Forgive her. And all other gays too.

Answer 2

First, I don't find heterosexuality revolting. I find the idea of participating in it unappealing, at most.

Don't be part of the problem or solution, that's perfectly fine. Noone should have any issues with that. If you don;t want to be around your moms gf's...again fine. Would you be the same way if she left your dad for another man? If the answer is yes, then you are simply pissed off about her leaving ur dad and don;t want to be apart of the reason why she left. If the answer is no and you would be ok visiting mom with bf's, then you are being unfair to your mother based on the fact that she is a lesbian. It's still not bigotry, but it is somewhat discriminating..

Think about this also. Your mom could have suppressed those feelings, many many women do. Your life would have been or could have been entirely different tho. They stay married, she witholds sex from him, because, well, she's not enjoying it. He could become bitter, angry etc. Have relations outside the marriage, as she could. You could have grown up not liking or respecting either of your parents. In a very dysfunctional house. In a way she did him a favor, by allowing him to go on and live a life he could be happy in. Just my opinion tho.

I do understand that when your parents seperate it's very difficult. Mine did. There is always anger and resentment that goes along with it. I do sggest you talk to a counselor, maybe they can help you deal with the anger. Everything happens for a reason. You don;t know what the fate of your family would be had she put her feelings aside and stayed with your dad for your sake. I firmly believe it does more damage to a kid to see his/her parents constantly fighting or in an unhealthy relationship, then divorcing does. Looking back now, my parents should have divorced sooner, though that was hard for me to see then. I don't know how old you are, and i won;t patronize you and say you just need to grow up. But time is the best healer there is. And the more time that passes, often the clearer you can see when you look back on a situation.

Answer 3

I think you need some therapy dude, you seem like a deeply angry individual. Your mom isn't gay to spite you and you need to learn how to let it go.

And most gay folks don't find straight sex revolting. If we did, where would that leave the bisexuals?

You claim to not care, but you think gay sex is gross. Sorry, but that is caring. You claim to not care, but you came all the way over here to tell us that you did not care, which means that you do care. Pretending that up is down and black is white doesn't change anything. Pretending not to care doesn't make you not care, it just makes you in denial about how much you care.

I'm gonna repeat my plea that you see a therapist, because I think you have the potential to be a happy well adjusted person, you just need someone to guide you a bit. Everyone deserves a chance to be at peace with themselves and deserves to be an active and engaging member of society. This whole "I don't care" thing isn't good for you, I hope you can see that. Best of luck man.

Answer 4

1) if you look at the number one gay issue and really think about it she did her part and she was fruitful by having you.now women have kids to have someone love you unconditionally...

2)she also gave it a shot and if she hadn't you would not be here so dont get offended because she finally came out .. do you want her to live a life she is unhappy with just to please you....or stay married to your father and them constantly argue and fight or risk the possibility of hurting him further by cheating.

3)also whether you disrespect her spouse or not it doesnt matter she would accept you if the roles were reversed without question and you should do the same for her .. . being gay is not a choice contrary to popular belief .

4)my son is ten years old and he accept me just the way i am and he saw i was unhappy with his father when he was four and he asked me why and i told him the truth ... i said to him

that people are all different in this world and if they feel something or are meant to do one thing and fught it they will always be un happy trying to do whats right for society and the world will only serve to make life miserable and even though i thought he wouldn't understand he did i taught him that loving someone is not controlled by the world and accepting someone for who they are will be the most rewarded by good in any case or point...

but the true question for you is "did you love your mother before she was gay? why did it change after she came out? are you really angry because your father was hurt or is are you angry about the divorce plain and simple.

dude it not about her its not about you all of these are separate issue you have to work through on your own. it is always hard for the kids to take you just have to re evaluate she is who she is be glad you are here and loved...

Answer 5

You have some serious Mommy issues that you need to resolve with her and not take it out on the rest of us. Your Mom didn't "do" anything to your Pops - she did what she needed to do. I'm sure there was hurt, but in the long run, it was the best thing to do for all involved. I don't expect you to get it, though, because you're still hurt and disapponted, but I hope in time you will forgive her - even if you don't understand it. Peace.

Answer 6

i'm surrounded by heterosexual relationships. i have friends involved in them, and i sometimes talk them through problems they're having within those relationships. just because i'm not straight and am grossed out by straight sex doesn't mean i can't even look at a straight couple together or that if i have to, i'm rude to them.

you are a bigot. sorry.

and the real issue here is that you call your father your "pops." that word went out of style in the mid-'90s, and it wasn't even cool before then.

please don't ever say that again.

Answer 7

I understand what you're feeling. You have defined for your mother the level of relationship yoiu will have with her. She should respect that. I read nothing in your question that gives me the impression that you are unreasonable, in spite of what she put you through.

Answer 8

you are fine. that "if you're not with us, you're against us" mentality is kind of mental in itself. we all need to relax.
Have a nice day, get a massage.

Answer 9

I can understand your situation.