I've been married for almost 3yrs with about to be 3kids now and thought my feelings would change towards him but I still am not very physically nor emotionally attracted to him. I've heard it's what's on the inside that counts but I can't even be attracted to that. He is SO immature, insensitive, he lies, is addicted to porn, doesn't have a clue on how to treat a women, is very manipulative and is an only child so he likes being the center of attention and has a tendency to put himself before others and sometimes our kids. He's also not very manly either. I hear alot of " I can't" and alot of excuses instead of ways to solve his own problems. He never listens to advice and we have been through 2 marriage counselors now to no avail. We fight alot and I hate seeing what it is doing to my little ones. I want a better life for them than this. When we talk about divorce he is VERY against it and tells me he couldn't live w/o me and says he will do better and then does not. PLEASE HELP!
2006-07-27 07:35:35 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I married him b/c i thought i could change him and i thought i could do no better. Shouldn't a 35 yr old man be mature by now?
2006-07-27 07:45:03 · update #1
When I think about divorce the first thing that comes to mind is that my 2yr old son LOVES him so much and the fact I am PREGGO AGAIN. I'd hate to see my little one hurt.
2006-07-27 07:59:45 · update #2
Many people sacrifice their happiness for their children, i believe that's wrong, you should do what your heart says and if your heart is telling you he is wrong for you then obey what it says and look someplace for that person that fill your needs or may just stay alone with your children some people find that very fulfilling
2006-07-27 08:03:49 · answer #1 · answered by chidoonekenobi 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you need to be happy along with your kids this can have anig affect in them if you or him doesnt react soon. you should try to scare him to teach him a lesson leave for 1 or 2 days and tell him that you not coming back to see what he does and then if he is begging you to come back and he does change then next time he wont treat you bad nomore he will respecet you that by you showing him that you can leave him and you can be on your own without him he needs to realized with this lessont what he really will loose if you and the kids were to leave him he will be regreting it for his rest of his life try it and see how it works and if it doesnt then girl there are plenty of fish in the see that will taste better(there are alot different men out there for you and anyone else that will treat you like a queen) so good luck for and your ,kids and stay safe adn be carefull take care.
2006-07-27 14:59:52 · answer #2 · answered by bronze23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry an "immature, insensitive, lying, porn addicted" man in the first place? At least he has been willing to go to counseling with you. How about a trial separation so he can see that yes he can live without you and you can live without him.
2006-07-27 14:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by odi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've tried to work on things with no luck. I think it sounds like it's time to move on. You deserve to be happy! Maybe just try a legal separation first and see if that'll help open up his eyes, unless you're sure about divorce. It definitely sounds like it's time for a major change, though. You and your children can't live like that forever.
Best of luck to you!
2006-07-27 14:50:04 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ ☆ StarLiteGrl~98☼1 ☆ ♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey I think you should kick him to the curb your needs don't seem important and if he was in the marriage a 100% he would try and change move on you need to concentrate on the well be-in of your children
2006-07-27 14:42:34 · answer #5 · answered by kizzme1017 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best advice I can give you is ask that you re-read your question. I know it is hard when you are so close to the problem so let me ask you a similar question.
"I have my hand resting on the stove burner.
It hurts unbearably.
Should I remove my hand?"
2006-07-27 14:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by chrisbrown_222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey, no you shouldn't stay. I am in the same predictament, but my husband is abusive in everyway. i'm now thinking of a plan to leave with my 3 kids. leave honey, it takes alot for a man to change his ways
2006-07-27 14:50:41 · answer #7 · answered by toni h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my life! If counseling hasn't worked then he doesn't want to and will not change. You have to decide what will make you happy and trust me his behavior WILL affect your kids. Good luck!!
2006-07-27 14:39:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek some professional help.
2006-07-27 14:44:03 · answer #9 · answered by qti36 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY. IF THAT MEANS NO HIM, THEN SO BE IT. i know its hard. but your unhappyness will affect the kids.
2006-07-27 14:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by virgowiccangirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋