Has anyone Ever???

Question

I have found myself falling in love with another man, these are feelings that I have never had before. Yes, I am married, and so is he, which makes everything so much more complicated.. He and I have talked about our feelings and he is feeling the same way, Has anyone ever gone through this before, and what was the outcome?? Not looking for the bible either people, just some serious advice...

I have yet to have an affair, that is the furthest from my mind, My hubby and I have been on the outs for some time now, I understand that there are and is a lot at risk..

I would like to Thank everyone for their advice. What if this man already told his wife and is waiting on me?????????

I THINK SOME PEOPLE DO NOT KNOW HOW TO READ!@!!!! THERE HAS BEEN NO SEX OR ANYOTHER TOUCHING IN ANYWAY.....

Thank you Samantha!! But how do you know if you are still in love with him or was ever in love with him, yes we got married for the wrong reason??????

I have no intentions on cheating on my husband. As far as getting to know my hubby again, well he would have to be around for that wouldn't he?

Answer 1

Sounds like you are having an emotional affair already. You should cut off all ties.

Answer 2

Stay away from him. You are married and he is married. Sure things like this will happen, and the grass on the other side of the fence will look greener, but just stay on your side of the fence and enjoy the grass that is on your side. You have said you and your husband is not as close, or on the outs with each other.

Well maybe you and your husband should start to 'date' again. Go out on saturday or friday nights and do things together and get to know each other again.

Let me tell you, it's not worth cheating. It usually doesn't turn out good either. So do yourself a favor, and talk with your husband and get to know him better and stay away from that other guy, or the other side of the fence. (It's just a bright shining apple with a worm inside the apple, it may look good right now, but it's not good.)

Another thing to consider, if he is married and you are married right now, if you should let's say get divorced and he gets one and you marry each other, what will keep him or you too not run into another person and you have feelings for him or he having feelings for the her later down the road? You may say, he would never do that, but he's doing it now!

I realize nothing has happened between you two. Just don't let it happen. You will regret it, I want to warn you in advance!

Answer 3

I have been on both sides-If kids are involved run in the other direction-It is not worth it- I thought I was different and that the married man was as well. Well, 10 years and 2 kids later I realize "if you do it with them, they will do it to you." and that hurt is beyond belief. Do what you can to salvage your own marriage, if it doesn't work, than move on your own. I also want to say that the married man is probably doing it solely for the lack of attention he is getting home, not because you are anything that special. If it wasn't you that grabbed on to him, he would be finding someone else, and there is a good chance you are not the only one. Us women do it for loving reasons, men do it for selfish reasons. Good luck

Answer 4

I myself am not in the same situation but am married. I think if you truly have deep feelings for this other man, you need to figure out why and what is wrong in your current situation. If you do not want to be with your husband anymore than you should be honest with him and split from him before going any further with this other man or any other man for that matter. Just make sure he is ready to follow through on his part as well.

Answer 5

I think the real question you should be asking yourself is, "do I still love my husband"?
I have had these feelings in the past with my now ex-husband and another man in which I am married to right now.
Same situation as you are in now but before I/we acted on any of our feelings (shall we say) we both filed for divorce.

Disregard any children, they will be fine if divorce is to happen...that didn't sound right but you know what I mean.
You only live once and if you are in love with one another then you should move forward. If he or you don't file for divorce to be with one another then it was just a passing moment of lust and in that case, why risk destroying your marriage.

just something to think about !

Answer 6

First you have to ask yourself is this love or infatuation because he is showing you attention that you have not been getting from your current mate. second you need to resolve the issues in your current relationship whether to leave or stay before you commit to someone else. He also needs to make a decision about his marriage. Affairs NEVER have a good outcome when both parties are married. usually a married man will not leave his wife and will give you every excuse known to man before you realize that you made a mistake. He will be home with his wife making up for his indisression and you will be crying and alone because your spouse has moved on. It is easy to talk about our feelings about one another but when we have to take action on them is when we realize how complicated things really can get. Most of the time it is the men who get weak in the knees and can't leave home stating there are issues you would not understand. If you can live with loving a married man and seeing him on his terms and being the other women then proceed. But most of us can't live like that for very long. I know I have been there and it hurts like hell. the wife usually forgives him if you are found out and guess what, He stays with her either for the children or financal reasons or whatever. He may truely love you but he must choose and if he finds it difficult to do than he does'nt love you more and you don't deserve to be the mistress. Every women in this situation thinks that you will be the exception to the rule. he will leave his wife and we will live happy ever after but reality is a bi***. We end up hurt, crying, depressed, and contenplating our own self esteem. Blaming ourself for not doing something right or for giving to much of ourself and wondering how we could be so blind........Just think long and hard because I am and always will be in love with my married man and can never have him. I do believe he loved the hell out of me but he will never be mine. Why? because circumstances occurred in both our lives and after time I figured out he was not what I wanted . I loved spending short periods with him but to spend the rest of my life with him means I would have to trust him and if he cheated with me what will stop him from doing it with me and if there is me who else is there? questions that I was not able to accept so all I can say is it look deep within yourself and your heart but lead with your mind.

Answer 7

though this is a dengerous situation for both of you (you &your lover) but it is not unmanagable. that is, if you think that the feelings are genuine, very strong on both the sides then cauciously you can carry on, provided the man is very very trustworthy and able to keep secrets, and he really loves you. make sure he is not looking for just thrill.ofcourse in public, you should not shaw any attraction to each other and the behaviour should be normal, and do not make mistake to ever confess to your husband, it will just ruin your life and family as well.and do not agree for actual sex, restict your lover to only kissing and hugging. do not meet him at strange places at odd time.do not call him at your place and never visit him at his place.do not accept very costly gift from him for whatever occassion and do not spend money for him, and most important, DO NOT GIVE HIM ANY LOVENOTES.what ever message you want convay to him, do it verbally. Have a nice time.

Answer 8

If you really want to be with somebody else, you should divorce your husband first! The least you can do is that! Don't be selfish, don't make him sit around and wait until you decide who you want to be with a yr from now or a month from now! HOw come you get to decide if....who cares how you and this guy are feeling towards each other....its how your husband feels being betrayed and hurted by the one person he vowed his life to be with for the rest of his life!

Answer 9

Just think about it this way: You will cheat on your husband, he will cheat on his wife. You get together, what makes you think that he won't cheat on you? Once a cheater, always a cheater! Sad, but true. Ask yourself: Is it really worth it? You will be destroying other people's lives, more than you think.
Maybe you should get your affairs (no pun intended) in order first, before acting on your "new" feelings.

Answer 10

WELL I HAVE BEEN IN YOUR SHOES NOT ONCE BUT TWICE. THE FIRST TINE IT WAS A DISASTER AND IT DID BRAKE UP MY MARRIAGE I TRIED TO FIX IT BUT THE DAMAGE WAS DONE AND IT WAS TOO LATE IT HAS BEEN ALMOST 5 YEARS SINCE THAT HAPPENED AND I JUST TALK TO THIS PERSON THE OTHER DAY AND YOU KNOW WHAT THE FEELING ARE GONE AND ALL IT WAS WAS LUST I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE BUT IT WAS NT THE MAN I HAVE NOW IS TRUE LOVE THE ONE THAT SITS UP HOLDING YOU HAIR WHEN YOU ARE SICK AT NIGHT ND GOES TO THE STORE FOR GINGER ALE OR COOKES YOU DINNER AND WASH'S CLOTHS FOR YOU DO NT USE YOUR HEART TO LOOK FOR LOVE USE YOU BRAIN IT WONT FAIL YOU SO MUCH