Are women really "dream killers"? What are your dreams that'll never come to fruition because you got married?

Question

Looking back there are so many things I wish I could accomplish in life that I will never be able to now that I am married. Has anyone else felt this? Examples?

Answer 1

In a way yes. However; every decision that you've ever made in life has closed other doors as well.

Sometimes I get upset that I'm married, even though my wife is fantastic (yes we do argue somtimes). Sometimes I wish that I was able to travel more or when I see pretty women I feel that I wish I was free to chat to them - then I start thinking - this is exactly like - the grass is greaner on the other side.

If you feel this way - I suggest you and your wife sit down and have a chat about your hopes and dreams for the future. I did with my wife and found out that she wanted to travel the world just as much as I do - I found out stuff she wanted to do as well.

The point is - yes, doors do close; however, just as many open - doors that you can only reach together.

Oh - the dream thing, mine was getting sent to a planet with no other men, just very attractive women - I would be the king and would be highly appreciated hahahahah! It wasn't my wife that killed that one - just reality - damn reality!

Answer 2

Being married does change your options in life but it also presents new and different options. If you spend too much time thinking about what you have lost you will cheat yourself out of a lot of great things in life. Sometimes things are just put on hold too. Or can be a new dream you can share with your wife. And accomplish together. It is not fair to blame your spouse for lost oppertunities... you married her too. Her life changed.

Look at the good things in your life and in your marriage.

Kathy
married 2 wks after graduating High School
now married 24 yrs.

Answer 3

I am a women and I felt the same way about my husband so I guess it goes on both sides when you are married. There will always be what if I never got married what would be different? If there are things that you feel you need to fulfill in your life than talk to your spouse about them you neve know maybe they will agree that you need to get what you feel is missing. Of course if its being with someone else than I would say that you might not be happy in your life and are looking to get away from it. I think we all think about the past and do the what ifs.

Answer 4

wow, that's really sad. I'm completely the opposite -- my wife (married 15 years) has supported me in anything I wanted to do, and has always encouraged my hobbies, aspirations, and sometimes wild ideas. I've just recently finally bailed on a long corporate career (where I made high six-figures), and am doing what I've wanted to do since I was a kid, be a pro photographer -- and she's supporting me all the way. Probably helps that I'm already making good money at it, but still -- it's a risk, but she absolutely supports me.
Of course there are duties and responibilities that come with marriage (and kids), that mean you can't be completely reckless and just take off and do things without thinking about consequences or how you're going to support your family. But your partner should help you succeed in what you want to do like mine does, not beat you down or hold you back...

Answer 5

You should have married someone that wanted to help you accomplish your dreams and one which you could help accomplish their dreams as well. Marriage is about being their for the other person and encouraging them. You may have to give up some of what you want for the happiness of another person though..For someone you care about (your most important dream-come-true) it may be neccessary to forget some of the old dreams and make new ones.

Answer 6

You could ask the same question of men. I know a LOT of women whose life plans were destroyed because of getting married, mostly career goals, as the man of the house wanted the little woman to stay home. What dream did your wife rob you of? Sailing around the world? Moving to Europe? Being a golf pro? Have you shared your dreams with her? Most wives I know encourage their husbands to fulfill their dreams.

Answer 7

Men have complained about being married forever yet they continue to be the one who goes to the store, buys the ring and proposes. Then they all want to sit back and blame everything on the old ball and chain. I finally figured out that men never want to take responsibility for their short comings in life and ALWAYS blame it on the women. If you didn't accomplish things you wanted to you have nobody to blame but yourself. And how about all her dreams that got killed when she married you ? Men are not the only ones who dream you know.

Answer 8

There is no real reason why your wife killed your dreams. Marriage is a partnership, if you married someone who has very different dreams, that is your fault, you fell for the hollywood ideal of 'true love'. I married someone with very similar dreams and goals, and together we accomplished 90% of them, so far.

Answer 9

F*ck you, women aren't dream killers. If you have sh*t to do then don't ask the question "Will you marry me?" that way you can complete your dreams before settling down. If you missed your dreams then that's your own fault for getting married when you weren't ready. Blame yourself first, then others.

Answer 10

I feel that way everyday of my life, and I am the wife.. My hubby is the one that is out doing what he WANTS to do and is following his dreams. It is very hard for me, I think that is a two way street. I also feel that those of us that got married at a VERY YOUNG age tend to feel this way even more.. Good Luck...