Why do I still love her and want her back?

Question

She left me and went back to her X that beat her up, cheated on her, and gave her a wedding ring and told her to wear it while she was out so that no guys would hit on her. I showed her love, made it where she did not have to work, bought her a new car, new clothing and loved her to no end. She told me that all she wanted was a place in the country and a man that took care of her so that she could be a good mother and wife. I gave it to her I even asked her to marry me and put a ring on her finger when she said yes. Her family tells me that she has a commitment problem but she will be back. This is probabbly true because she has went back to him seveal times on and off over the past 10 years. She is saying that I was mean but when asked how I was mean she cannot answer. The day she left she had may plans with me for dinner that night. When I got home a couple hours later all I had left was her ring, cell phone and a note telling me that the car would be back in a couple of days

Answer 1

Grieving take some time. She might come back, or not, who knows. But is seems to me like you gave her too much.. she is acting like a spoilled child - or she is acting like a girl who needs some challenge. She had everything with you... may be she was bored from all this.
Until something happens, get yourself busy - go on with your life.. go out with your friends and do yourself a favor, be a little more independant if she comes around.

Answer 2

That's a shame, I know how you feel. Sounds like you deserve better! She'll find out the hard way that she made a mistake, when she does, tell her to turn around and walk away.

I read your prior question, and I really feel for you! The only calls from the ex she should have taken were if they were directly related to the boy. And shame on the ex to use the little boy to do his dirty work. She shouldn't have been on the phone long enough to hear her ex's pleas. Perhaps she stayed on the phone because she wanted to hear all of that from him. She's the one that can only answer that.

There are plently of other women out there that would jump at a chance to have a truly good man. Sounds like instead of a good man she prefers a$$holes! But I guess to each their own :)

Just hang in there, and TRY not to think about this too much, I find that just makes things worse.

Answer 3

She doesn't deserve you.
Commitment problem?
I think that she thinks that she loves Mr.Beater, but maybe she just likes to be seen as the poor little victim.
You and everyone in her family should stop bailng her out of the crap hole she keeps creating for herself, and stop making cutesy little commitment excuses for her low moral character. She should want to work, and to provide a home, and clothes and a car for herself. The very fact that she thinks someone else should provide those things for her ticks me off. She sounds like a spoiled selfish brat, who has never had to fend for herself, or be responsible for herself.
Yeah. Why do you love her and want her back?
Do you not think you deserve someone who wants to love you, not because you gave her a car, and a place to live, but because she craves you personally.
Ditch her a$$. Don't look back. When she tries to come back to you, tell her she needs to clean up her act and prove that she can take care of herself before you'll take her back. I guarantee she'll go back to Beater boy or find some other poor sap who she can play "save me, I'm a poor little victim" with.
You need to know that you deserve more. She'll never be anything more than what she is right now if you are always going to pick up the pieces. Break the cycle, and go find somebody that deserves you. You'll both be better off.

Answer 4

Well nice guy ! You are probley right about her coming back. The real question is how long do you want to put up with this kind of thing. You are only alowing this other guy to hurt you and his X. You can't stop your girl friend from being a fool. But you don't have to be a fool too. Looks like it is time to move on and not look back. This hurt will go no , and on , on, no , and on. You can't stop her hurt but you can stop your hurt. Go find a girl with less problems and be happy at last. Good luck on what you deside to do.

Answer 5

Honey U need to let it go. She has something wrong that has been going on for over 10 years. she has more issues than that so I think U should wait until U get ur car back, change the locks on the house an find soemone that really wants to be with U and loves u the way U need and want to be loved. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Move on!!! If she has done this over the past 10 years she is going to keep doing it. She might love you and some where inside she wants all that you can give her, but not once its in front of her. She cant handle it and maybe will never be able to be in a stable relationship. Start re-building your life without her. Don't wait for her to come back and leave again to just break your heart all over again...Good luck!

Answer 7

Oh you poor thing! Best thing is to distance yourself. She had no consideration for your feelings when she left, she will never change. You are not deserving of such rejection. Seek counseling to help you through this difficult time. But always remember how it made you feel when you came home to nothing, and remember that if she does come back she will do the same-no matter how many times she says "it will never happen again" Look for someone selfless not selfish-Good luck!

Answer 8

2nd most painful thing to dealw/in life. Love(sucks)
Time to play her game. make sure you get all ur stuff back and then some. ( I know what ur going thru. ) there will be time when she comes to realization after a few months w/ the loser,she'll come running back. 4 sure. when she knocks on the door crying, or calls sobing. ur turn. tell her to f--- off. she rined a good thing(you) or almost ruined. Go out and get you a real woman . Shy away from the little girl games. You'll thank me and you'll feel great. time will tell bro. One day at a time.

Answer 9

I sympathize with you. It seems that all you did was show her love and had it all thrown away. You obviosly love her and will want her back. No one can make that choice for you but I want you to remember that love really is blind sometimes and she may not deserve your love!

Maybe she cannot relate to someone actually loving her for who she is and is running scared. So what you can do is talk to her and try to understand but if it seems that she truely doesn't want a life with you, hard as it may be, move on.

There are a lot of genuine women out there who will love you for who you are and give you the same commitment that you are giving.

Answer 10

The bigger question here is why would you want her back. She's made it apparent that nothing you do is good enough for her. Sounds like the ex is like a bad habit that she can't kick. What if she did come back? Do you not think that the same thing will happen again. You can't make someone love you if they don't want to and you also can't buy them. Sounds like she is one of those women who enjoys the drama of someone treating them like crap. You are one of the good guys and trust me there are plenty of women out there who would appreciate all you have to offer. Unfortunately she isn't one of them. Cut your losses, lick your wounds, and move on to find someone who will love and appreciate you the way you deserve to be. I know that's not what you want to hear but if you look at it logically its the truth.