Should I have an affair behind my hubby's back?

Question

My husband is deployed overseas for the last 2 years, coming home for only 5 month visit and then go back. Iam left alone here w/ our kid. I've always been faithfull, never cheated. When I have an urge i just use my toy & watch movies, or go out w/ my g/fs and flirt @ the club nothing more. Lately I went on i-net dating site, just to get some new spark in my life, some excitement. So I met a guy, we have the same situations w/ our families, have so much in common, we got the vibe, the juices flowing, the passion is in the air. We went on a real date - he was soooo romantic, no pressure on me etc. Now I want to get closer to him, we call each other everyday, email etc.. we got some chemistry going on. Please tell me should I get intimate w/ him, cus we both want it so much! My hubby will be back by next year, I am hoping I'll settle by that time, cus now i can't even think rationaly, I'm so into this new affair. Dont want to ruin the family,but I need loving & spark on my life right now

Answer 1

I'm sorry but I disagree with everyone here, sex can be just sex. I you are strong enough to seperate love and sex than go for it. What your husband doesnt know wont hurt him. Like Nike says "just do it".

Answer 2

By doing that you will totally ruin your Family. Even if nobody else knows what you did ...you will know.

You will not treat your Husband the same again. You will never look at him the same again. His touch will be different, his smell, his voice. Everything will change.

If you value your Family and Your Husband, don't trade what you know you have for what you think you might get.

You say you have a spark in your life now...that's all it is and will dim quickly. Why Trade The Fire that you have with your Man for a temporary Spark that will ignite to nothing.
Of course this guy is nice to you, he sees this as a chance to get some Booty with No Strings attached. He knows it won't get any further than that..Booty. His Words will Be As Sweet As Honey...But Will Go Down Like Bitter Molasses After The Deed Is Done.

Love your Man And Support Him For All He is Doing For You, His Child And His Country.
Trust me it's not worth it...Love your Hubby..As I Know You Do!! Or Else You wouldn't Be Asking This Question.

Do The Right Thing..Choose LOVE NOT LUST!!!!

Pray Hard On This Too, To Help You Control These Urges. God Bless!!

Answer 3

You need to think about how your hubby would feel. He's out there taking care of serious business. How would you feel if you found out that your husband was out there having affairs? It is understandable that you feel lonely, but you are married and this is very serious. If you feel like you are falling for this guy, you should indeed end it with your husband first. This is not fair to him. If you go on with this, how will you feel when you see your husband. It won't end there, I can guarantee it. Things will not fall back into place when you husband gets back. You will not just get sexually intimate with this man, but you are already getting emotionally intimate with him. Would you want this to happen to you if it were the other way around?

Sit back and think about the consequences if you were to continue this affair. Are you willing to lose your husband? Things may seem great right now, but you don't know what the future brings. I am a great believer in "what goes around, comes around." So be careful. Use your judgement.

Answer 4

You don't really "need loving & spark," but you are playing with fire. Do you want to be a divorced woman, dividing up the time you get to see your children with your ex-husband and the new wife he will almost certainly find after your divorce? Perhaps next year he'll take the kids for Christmas, and you'll get them for Easter. Will it bother you when the kids start calling his new wife "Mom"? And will this new stud you found be around for you? Maybe not. Maybe you'll be alone, playing with your sex toys while the kids are with Dad.

Wake up and face reality! If you want to stay a married woman, you need to start acting like one. Cut off all ties with this man who's got you so hot and start focusing on how to love and give attention to the man you've already made vows to. If you stop giving time, attention, energy, and thought to this other man, your feelings for him will die. If you focus on giving time, attention, energy, and thought to your husband, your feelings for him will grow. Then you can look forward to a great and sexy reunion when he returns.

Keep going down the path with this other guy, and you will almost certainly ruin your family, and at the very least, cause everyone (including yourself) a whole lot of pain.

Answer 5

No what you need to do is remind yourself as many times as it takes that you husband is overseas putting his life on the line so you can sit over here and have cybersex with some stranger. If I have said it once I have said it a thousand times but one more won't hurt. There is a special place in hell for people who cheat on their spouses while they are serving a tour of duty overseas. Do you have any clue what he is going through every day over there and all you can do is think about the fact that you can't have sex? That is the stupidest, most selfish thing I have ever heard in my life and if you do it you are the scum of the earth. You knew this was a possibility when you married a military man and you should damn well stick to your commitment to be there for better for worse, in sickness and health, FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, as long as you both shall live? Ring any bells? You don't deserve your husband I hope you know that. Anybody brave enough to put his life on the line to fight for all of our freedom deserves a ton more than some tramp like you.

Answer 6

you're disgusting you cant say thats normal to her, its normal to have urges yes but you have to use control...good god ur husband is overseas alone, longing for u and here u are saying poor me i have no sex i must get some....how wrong is that! a marriage is being faithful if my husband had to leave for 5 years i wud never cheat on him. he's worth more than that to me, and wait til he comes back what if he finds out. YOu shouldnt have went on a date with this man, that means you are looking and that sex will probably happen. you should have settled when you decided to get married..i hate people who take their marriage vows lightly.

you know whats gonna happen, this guy is romantic and sweet and u'll start thinking all the bad things ur husband does or is and this guy will seem better and better and you'll end up leaving your husband for him. your poor husband is all alone probaly dying to see you and has your picture there with him and thinks how much he loves you every night and here you are dating and considering having sex with someone else, why dont u go overseas and see what ur husband has to put up with and be stuck there missing him and worrying if hes banging some other lady while ur gone..please grow up.

Answer 7

I know life isn't far but you knew what you were doing when you married some one in the armed forces. Now it is time for you to be faithful to him. it is not far to do this to some one that is out doing his job every day, he might not come home for dinner every night but did you ever wonder what it would fell like if ( god forbid he never got home) then how would you feel? And what are you doing going on a dating sight or going out on a date with him in the first place . I am sorry but i read all the answers to your question and I have to ask you one GIRL WHAT WERE YOU THINKING be faithfull and honest and you will sleep better at night and be a better wife to you Solder

Answer 8

I understand where you are coming from. Unless you are ready to give up everything you have already, you shouldn't do it.
The passion is there because its something new and exciting. And he probably makes you feel beautiful and sexy. In 2 years of this affair it will be the same boring life you are trying to get away from. Just remember that your husband is fighting for our country the least you can do is be honest with him about your feelings as hard as it may sound. Good luck.

Answer 9

Why!!! If you dont want to break up the family then why do want to have an affair. Why do u wanna cheat, how do u think he would feel when he finds out u did that. Im sorry for this but this is bull s**t. Im sure he is faithful to u. I've been cheated on before and i still have a scar from that. I thought u love him and if u do, stay faithful. How would u like it if he cheated on you, pretty bad huh. Thats why im telling you to stop before its too late.

If u do go ahead and have an affair, how would u call yourself a wife. I sure hope u know wat ur doing.

One word : KARMA

Answer 10

I would say no.
If you found out that your husband had an affair how would you feel?
Unless you can openly discuss your affair with your husband you should end it with the new guy.
Even if hubby never finds out, YOU will always know that you breached your vows.
I am sorry for your circumstance, and I understand, but the immediate gratification you're seeking isn't worth tearing up your family for forever.
Go back to toys and movies, and find new ways for you and your husband to "be close" across the miles.
Good luck

Answer 11

Don't cheat. Never cheat. You need to tell your husband how you feel. Talking is a part of spending your life together. There are temptations everywhere its the point of saying "no" because you love your husband and the life the two of you have created.I can tell me husband anything. If that won't work try talking to a couples therapist Just don't cheat.