how to I make the sentence more smooth and concise?

Question

I am writing a fundraising letter, and I want to make these sentence more concise and smooth. Specially the last sentence, are there anyway to combine the last sentence to make the paragraph look nicer? Any suggestion will be fine

Thank you so much for reading my thread

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However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without helps from people like you. We will have our holiday fundraising sale to raise the money, planning to sell holiday greeting cards, which come in boxes of ten. An original watercolor scene was created by a famous Ohio artist.
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Answer 1

However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without help from people like you. We will have our holiday fundraising sale to raise the money, where we plan to sell holiday greeting cards that will depict an original watercolor scene created by a famous Ohio artist and they will come in boxes of ten.

Answer 2

Below is my suggested edited version:

However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without help from people like you. We will have our holiday fundraising sale to raise the necessary funds, where we are planning to sell holiday greeting cards. The greeting cards come in boxes of ten and feature an original watercolor scene, created by a famous Ohio artist.

Answer 3

However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without helps from people like you. We will have our holiday fundraising sale to raise the money, planning to sell holiday greeting cards, which come in boxes of ten. An original watercolor scene was created by a famous Ohio artist.

Today's tough economic conditions however, make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet (what needs, be specific) without the generosity of people like you.

This year, our holiday fundraiser is a box of ten holiday greeting cards, which include an original watercolor scene by (can you include the artist's name?).

Good luck.

Answer 4

However, today's economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to those needs without the help of people like you. We will have our holiday fundraising sale to raise teh money for the poor, so that they can enjoy the joys of holidays as well. We are planning to sell holiday greeting cards, which comes in boxes of 10. These cards contain an original watercolor scene that was created by a famous Ohio artist.

Answer 5

However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without help from people like you; therefore, we will be selling holiday greeting cards as our end of year fundraiser. Cards are sold in boxes of ten, and the original watercolor scene was created by Ohio artist __________.


You should put the name of the artist here if he/she is "famous."

Answer 6

However, today's tough economic conditions make it difficult for Buckeye Bread Basket to meet those needs without help from supporters like you. For your donation, you will receive a box of ten holiday cards that feature an original watercolor by a famous Ohio artist.

Answer 7

Buckeye Bread Basket praises our community for support in the past. Although todays tough economic conditions make it difficult for everyone, we ask for your support of our Holiday Fundraising drive. An original watercolor scene that was created by (put famous artist name), graces our holiday greeting cards that we are planning to use to raise money for our holiday fundraiser. They come in boxes of 10 and will be available (put date here). Thank you for your support.

Answer 8

Your donation will help make it possible for BBB to meet those needs despite an ever-changing economy. We hope to rasie funds through the sale of holiday greeting cards featuring an original watercolor scene created by an Ohio artis. These cards are available in boxes of ten and would leave you with a warm feeling knowing that by spreading holiday cheer you are also helping to provide much needed food for hungry Ohioans.

Good?

Answer 9

Help feed those in need. Visit our holiday sale for Christmas bargains, including greeting cards and an original watercolor by a renowned Ohio painter.

Answer 10

You should correct the spelling errors first...