My wife dosen't show and affection anymore, but wants me to continue to be the perfect husband, help me...

Question

We both look at porn, I take care of the kids during the day and work overnight, she work's during the day. She's upset because I looked at pics online, white women. I looked one time, and she went crazy. I never cheated and never will. Honestly black men have a rep for leaving their family and kids and I don't want to do that because I Love the family I have. She don't let me watch a certain music video because I told her that Ciara was cute or even listen to her music on the radio. She actually hits me, but I allow her to because she won't "hook up" with none of them. Once, I got a # from a coworker to tint her windows for $250 and she said no when we needed the money. I called and asked from my job and she sd no. But I got the girls # and put it in my car & she flipped out. She gets upset and throw things and have a keylogger on the computer. I chatted online once and asked if ** had a BF,I was wrong, but I found out it was a robot or a continous pop-up and she didn't believeme

Answer 1

there are reasons for women to always suspect that the man is doing something wrong. bro i feel you. women are always self conscience about their husband and if they are cheating. some things you should probably do are not tell her another girl is cute, make sure she doesnt know your looking at the porn unless it is with her, make sure the number is no where to be found...or dont even get the number in the first place even if it was for a job, and dont ask someone online if they have a boyfriend. there are reasons she is suspecting like i just listed. try to stop those and talk to her about it. once you talk to her, her affection will get better...and you can continue to be the perfect husband. best luck man!

Answer 2

She's controlling you! If she's picking and choosing what you should do, who you should talk to, what music you should listen to, etc...that's control! She's monitoring everything you do, how can you live life under a microscope like that? And, if she's hitting you and throwing things at you, that's abuse! Your children are going to have big problems growing up in this type of environment.

Don't take her sh*t! I know it's hard especially if you have kids together, but you don't deserve to be treated that way. You are you going be miserable for the rest of your life with her because she will keep doing it to you, guaranteed. You could try talking to her, but I can't see her listening to you. She's one-sided and her way is the right way. I don't think that she'll ever be happy with anything you do. How can you live with someone who doesn't trust you?

I'd suggest you re-evaluate your marriage. Even if she says she'll change, she won't. They never do. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve someone who will treat you right!

Answer 3

I think you sound like a great man. You say you want to stay with your family and that is wonderful. I say stay!
I have to say though.....your wife can not expect you to not stray(at least get your kicks through porn) if she never does anything for you. Sex is a big part of a relationship. I know some people will disagree with me here but, you can't have a true happy marriage without it. Someone, sometime is gonna want it and get it from somewhere....get my drift???
You might want to find out too, why your wife is so insecure??? There is a problem somewhere.

Answer 4

dude you need help if you and your wife keep down this track you will be one of those black men leaving .. honestly you may need councilling ...but ask your self 2 questions why do you look at these pics ( im on your side by the way i think its totally normal to look ) and why this and your other behaviour gets her so upset in such a violent way ..there is probably a deeper underlying issue that is not visible

Answer 5

You guys have a whole lot to talk about. Take a day when you both are off of work, sat down and talk about your likes and dislikes, try to listen and be understanding of each other, or you two might end up in divorce court. Good luck and take care.

Answer 6

I think she is wearing the pants of the relationship. My hubby watches porn all the time i get upset sometimes but He is a man i have to respect that. I realize you dont want to leave but you need to threatin it. she is and always will walk all over you hunny. You need to put her in her place. She is a very jealous woman. I dated a guy like that and he ****** up 2 years of my life, ending in 9 stitches in my head.

Answer 7

wow....yeah women can be pretty crazy sometimes...lol...i used to go off on my husband like that a lot...and then i kind of realized it was pointless

but she obviously has a jealousy issue...and is pretty insecure...so my best advice would be to try to talk to her and let her know that there are always gonna be other women in the world....but she should trust you...unless you have given her a reason not to...just reassure her that you would never leave her and that you love her more than anything in the world....

and if nothing does any good.....try marriage counseling....it WORKS...i swear by it

Answer 8

Your relationship is about to collide with a steamroller. The bad behaviors you are doing are hurting your marriage. Only you can look inside your self and know when and how you hurt others. Think about the promises you made to your wife and stop the foolishness before it gets out of hand!

Answer 9

From one guy to another.....you don´t need counseling, talk to her, explain to her that you don't have any intentions of cheating on her, and most important ask her to talk, to ask anything she's got in mind about the subject and answer all her questions.
And if she keeps going with her crazy ****, leave, you don't need to be with her if she doesn't make you happy, and if she doesn't respect you now, she will never have any respect for you.
And if your main worries are about your children, like i am sure they are, let me tell you, don't have to be married to be a great dad.

Answer 10

There seem to be alot of trust issues between the two of you about small things. I am happy at the fact that you adore the black family and are trying to maintain that, but a huge part of that is communication, and respect. You she's looking at porn is it only with you! Are there somethings that she wants you to share only with her. That's important to woman,(some/me) to have that intimacy where there are certain things that only we share. Talk to her...keep the lines of communication, God Bless!!!!!