I'm a guy and I have a small circle of really close friends, all of whom I've known for years. I know friends won't be perfect. The thing is these long time friends of mine are drains on my confidence, but they seem to be my best access to a social life. They're helpful and fun sometimes, but other times they don't seem to respect me and will try to bring me down for their entertainment and confidence. Other circles of friends I have don't socialize outside of their small group. Perhaps adult life is about accepting compromises and complex relationships...
2006-07-27 06:01:34 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Hello. - Alone.
Have a nice day. :)
2006-07-27 06:24:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely see the wisdom of solitude with the description given above. It's not healthy to be around people that make you feel smaller in the world, so you should limit your time with them. (Don't blow them off completely as you do say they are an asset, but only in small chunks.)
I tend to believe that one makes their own social life. Consider doing things like joining organisations. Get into a book club, take classes at the Y, volunteer at the Red Cross. I suspect that your opportunies for social activities will increase if you meet others and demonstrate a willingness to participate in things.
Just remember that you can be friends with several people that don't know each other. That's your social life right there. Simply know that you need not be a nexus for all of your friends, but learn to accept that a social life is what you get out of your varying friendships.
I hope that helps, and I wish you well.
2006-07-27 06:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by Ѕємι~Мαđ ŠçїєŋŧιѕТ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try avoiding them first for a few weeks and learn to meet new people for a change. Maybe when your old friends see that they are not the only ones in your life, they'll change their ways. If they confront you about it, tell them honestly why you feel you had to avoid them. If they are really your friends, they'll change to keep you. But normally, true friends do not pull each other down or use 1 to fool around with.
2006-07-27 06:06:57 · answer #3 · answered by Equinox 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adult life is a lot more then that.... For instance, you need to surround your self with people from who you can benifit and I don't mean in a materialistic way. Surround your self with people who are honest with you and who mean well. Social life is one thing, but when you are alone, how confirtible do you feel by your self? Do you need to surround your self with other people in order to feel better and to feel accepted? I think your issues are a lot deeper then that.
In life you have to comprise in certain situation, however, never when it comes down to insulting you or degrading you as a person. Usually their insults are a result of their own insecurities and issues and they pick on others in order to feel better.
It can be very liberating to get rid of the "bad" energy....
2006-07-27 06:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Jojo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People grow out of some friendships all the time. There are way too many people out there to have to accept either option.
I have many circles of friends, some who overlap and others that do not. There's nothing wrong with that.
2006-07-27 06:06:38 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know for a fact that it's possible to find a circle of friends who respect you for who you are. I know because I have one. I think if your friends don't respect you, then you can find different friends. Also, you need to try and be more open to meeting new people - your new friends are out there, believe me.
2006-07-27 06:06:41 · answer #6 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You hit the nail on the head there. Who in your group are the ones bringing you down? Start excluding them and only hang around the ones you like. Just because they are in the group doesn't mean you HAVE to hang around them. They are just bringing you down out of jealousy or insecurity.
2006-07-27 06:07:56 · answer #7 · answered by carolscreation 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bingo! Your last sentence answers your own questions. No one is perfect, and to expect perfection from anyone or anything will give you nothing but frustration and heartache. Maybe these people that you're referring to are more of acquaintances than friends-there's a big difference, you know.
2006-07-27 06:06:42 · answer #8 · answered by SuzeY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say find some new friends.
Start with a list of your interests, and then find ways to join others who share those interests. (If you like darts, try joining a dart team.)
You're more likely to find friends among people who like the same things you do.
Your old friends remind me of crabs in a bucket - one crab in a bucket will escape, but two or more crabs won't escape because they will keep pulling each other back down into the bucket.
2006-07-27 06:05:40 · answer #9 · answered by Nosy Parker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they are real friends, you need to hold on to them, real friends are very hard to find. Also don't be afraid to disrespect them right back, they may realise that people in the real world will always disrespect others and are trying to prepare you for that.
2006-07-27 06:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by JoeThatUKnow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess i would choose alone ...im alone now and if i could have a jerk friend i wouldnt want it but if i had friends already maybe i would think differently they could be the key to meeting some better people who knows
2006-07-27 11:51:14 · answer #11 · answered by nothing 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋