Did my wife set me up?

Question

We had our dog put to sleep 2 days ago and I know it's depressing, but I want to know if I was "trapped and set up".

As she was driving home from work Wednesday, she calls me. She says that when she sees the hair in the car from our dear departed dog it makes her cry. Could I please have the car washed sometime this week?

I said, "Sure, that's no problem, I'll do it Friday when I drive in". (I usually take the train 4 days a week for convenience) She comes back with, "Why can't it be Thursday? Gee Thanks, it's more important to you to ride the f-ing train than to give up a day and actually drive in so I wouldn't have to see this one more day. Why do you want to wait until Friday?"

Well, that ticked me off. If she wanted me to wash the car the very next day, I sure would have in a heartbeat. But her question was, "Sometime this week". So I complied. I felt I was set up.

Why can't she say, "Can you wash the car tomorrow"?

I want to wack her with a baseball bat.

Yes, the "bat" thing was just emotions on my part. Don't think that it's what I would really do. I'm just angry.

Answer 1

I don't think she set you up, I think that she is just upset and when she asked you "sometime this week" what she really meant was i am very upset and need to be consoled and i wish that he would show me how much he cares and loves me and understands how much i love(d) my dog and he will say that he will wash it tomorrow and when you said Friday it was devastating that you would make her endure that for another day.......i know we are weird and we know you can't read our minds but when we are emotional we just do stupid things, and please don't hit her with a bat........i know this cause i act on emotions too.......and i know how much i love my dog and i would just die if something happened to her........just take it easy and please clean the poor woman's car.......

Answer 2

Is there a physical reason why she can't take the car to get it washed herself? I understand she is broken hearted about the dog, but she needs to act like an adult here. It sounds like she has trouble asserting herself - maybe it's that baseball bat thing. I hope you really didn't mean that. If you did - go get help NOW! I think you both have some growing up to do. Married people should be support to each other and want to make each other happy. You shouldn't have to worry she is manipulating you and she shouldn't have to worry you might get out of control.

Answer 3

She is just an emotional wreck right now. Women are much more emotional than men and form deeper attachments. When these attachments are broken they suffer a greater hurt than men. There is no way that you could have provided the "correct" answer. You agreed to her request (which turned out to not be good enough) and when she complained further you are then presented with two options; move the day to clean up the car sooner and be call callused and uncaring or hold to the original offered date to clean the car and still be called callused and uncaring. As I said - there is no correct answer - but no - you were not set up.

Answer 4

LOL....isn't marriage great? After 22 years of it I still get the occasional wacky request or accusation like that too. Ever try and offer options to a question she may have and you're shut down at every turn? Usually with some lame-*** excuse too. Not anything rational...just what seems to be more self-serving for her than anything else.
Sometimes I think we're like those little trained dogs that jump up on beachballs and walk them across the floor.
You're supposed to play on these sympathies IMMEDIATELY man! Don't you know that? That's what's expected of you. 'Course if you do...something else will be tossed up at you to put a damper on anything else you suggest.
You, my friend, would stand a better chance at finding the Holy grail or understanding the origins of the universe than to attempt to dissect the methods of your spouse.
By the way....don't use a ball bat....a broken car antennae across the back of her bare legs is much more satisfactory.

Answer 5

I don't think that it was deliberately done. Maybe when she asked, specifying that the dog's hair is upsetting her, you would have offered to do it immediately.

I agree she should have actually asked that you do it immediately or the next day or whenever she wanted instead of just generalising but she may really be hurting and expected you to understand.

Additionally, if she is not a working person she should get it done herself instead of inconveniencing you. It's not like she has to remove it herself. But I guess that what an independent woman would do.

Good luck, u need it!!!!

Answer 6

wack her with a bat...Jeeze talk about overreacting....sounds like you both are.

Really, sounds like simple miscommunication. She was probably hoping that you would do it right away and was disappointed that you didnt drop everything and do it asap...
My q is why cant she clean out the car?? I mean you could have been a real *** and said do it yourself. On the other hand, if she wanted it asap she should have said so...
women are bad that way sometimes...we hope that our man will be on the same wavelength we are.... it rarily happens

Answer 7

I thinks you are both upset and taking it out on each other. Both of you need to step back and really ask the question - would we have fought about something this petty before the dog was put to sleep. Losing a pet can be just as traumatic as losing a loved one or friend. Sorry for your loss and best wishes to you and your wife.

Answer 8

You're SUPPOSED to be able to read her mind, you insensitive jerk! (kidding)
I love it when they (wives) want something and tell you it's not important, but if you don't drop what you're doing and do it RIGHT NOW you are a "useless piece of sh*t"
Ladies it you want it done now, say so. Also, don't start with the "you know what you have to do" line, because chances are we don't. Don't wait til we sit down and are 15 minutes into the UFC final show and then say you need help with something that you could have figured out yourself. Don't volunteer OUR services to your parents, sibling or friends...Oh and I don't interrupt you with a stupid question when you're watching soap operas, so I'd appreciate the same courtesy.

Answer 9

you don't know anything about women do you.if she says do it whenever ,do it right away.drop everything you are doing and just do it.just say," yes dear".if you do this more often you will look like a god in her eyes.instead of a shmuck who thinks more of his job ,than her feelings.take that baseball bat and give yourself a couple of wacks in the head for me.keep treating her that way and she will find someone who will respect her feelings.and you won't have to commute anymore.

Answer 10

Why can't she take the car to the car wash herself???? Its not like she'd have to do a darn thing...you sit there in a nice A/C room, while the illegals wash it....detail it.....comes out lookin very nice.