Whats the big deal with coming out?

Question

That dude from Nsync is gay, I'm like sh** we knew that back in what 99. I digressed from my point, It is preached and preached that Gay people are no different but why the celebration for declaring your orientation doesn't that right there single you out and give cause to make you different. Shouldn't it be just like any other day? To me it's irratating becasue now a gay person needs more attention for who they choose to be with vs anyone else. If I don't care on the straight side why should I care about the other side why does it need to be told? I'm not bashing, so don't get all Mike Tyson-ishh I believe I have a point is all.

Answer 1

I do understand your point, but would like to explain why it's a big deal to some. Your heterosexualtiy has never been questioned, you've never been ridiculed or discriminated againt for it. Gay people, on the other hand, deal with this on a daily basis. Hell, I'm not even out of the closet to my parents, because I'm still living at home, and cannot afford to be kicked out of the house right now. I would hope and think that they won't do this, but you never know how someone will react to such news. Coming out is about being happy with and accepting yourself. Trust me, I'm tired of hiding it, and tired of the questions my mom asks like, "have you found a nice girl yet?" or "any nice girls at work or school?" Sometimes I wanna just scream, like tell her to just get off my back about it.

To solve the problem? Well, that would take a lot, and it would probably take the backing of lawmakers. I say if we teach children in school that sexuality is just a part of who you are, and explain to them that it's ok to be whoever you are, that would help with intolerance a lot. It ought to start in the first grade. Just explain the differences in sexuality and get children comfortable with the idea that it's ok to be bi or gay or straight and that it's no different that being born with brown or black hair. If we raise children to be accepting of people who are different, then it would be no big deal. Children are already coming out othe closet at record early ages...I believe most do so before graduating from high school now. And for the most part the younger generation seems to be very accepting. It's the older crowd and all the right wing conservatives that make it difficult.

Answer 2

The reason coming out is such a big deal is because there are still people in the world who do horrible things to people simply because they are gay. I know from personal experience. Just today, in fact, I received a call at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender Resource Center where I volunteer from a woman asking for help for two eighteen year old boys who had been kicked out of their house for being gay. My first girlfriend was also kicked out an physically abused. That is why coming out is a big deal. Basically when a person comes out, they are shattering every idealistic fantasy that their parents have for them (at least, that's what the parents' think until they eventually realize you CAN have a normal life and be gay.)

It's not about wanting attention, it's about being recognized for who you are. It's about not having to dodge irritating questions like "have you met any nice boys at school yet?" when you're already in a long term relationship. It's about relieving your fear and helping tear down the walls of hate. That is why it is a big deal.

You do have a point, and I thank you for being accepting. Hopefully one day everyone will feel as you do, and coming out won't be such a big deal.

Answer 3

Well, your point is understandable from someone who's sexuality has always been accepted. The truth is, coming out is STILL a big deal because there is still so much intolerance. People still get picked on, people still get killed, and us gay people are still not afforded all the rights we deserve. Yeah, it's preached by a lot that gay people are not different, but it's also preached by so many more that we ARE different. So, basically, coming out in a straight man's world is still a battle.

Answer 4

When many gay, lesbian, or bisexuals "come out" it is in their teenage or young adult years when it's just as much coming out to yourself as family and friends. Also in many places you are treated differently just because you're a lesbian or bi, so you have to be ready to deal with that and the changes that your friends, family, or everyday people may start having.

An example being if a very popular girl in high school kissed another girl one day then through out the day everybody found out through the grapevine. Now some people don't like her (not because of who she is but cause of who she dates), others feel betrayed cause they didn't know she was bi (or a lesbian), rumors start, family finds out later from another student's Bible-tumper parents, and then all Hell breaks loose. If she had come out then it wouldn't be such a shock to the people who thought she was straight and she could have found support.

And some people never do the "coming out" thing, friends and others just find out randomly who they date. Plus coming out is a lifelong thing, it happens any time you meet someone new, you may not tell them right away but it will come up at some time.

Not everybody is as "live and let live" as you are.

Answer 5

well it is life changing when you come out, especially when you are in the public eye. you lose fans, can lose movie roles-if an actor, singing contracts-if a singer, and the biggest thing is how the public sees it.
imagine if say a popular athlete like michael jordan, or kobe bryant, or tom brady, or michael vick came out of the closet. do you think nike would be willing to put their names on a new line of shoes? no. why? not because being gay makes them less of a athlete, it means that the public wouldn't want to buy the shoes that have the gay athlete's name on them. religious groups, rush limbaugh and bill o reiley, focus on the family, and many conservative groups would all be telling the public to boycott the shoes, and nike in general becuase of that. that is why it is a big deal when a gay celebrity comes out.

Answer 6

Eventually one will come out because they don't want to keep hiding their sexuality by "staying in the closet". It's your life so live it no matter what others think. The problem is that others criticize them so much by gay bashing and saying they aren't suppose to be this way that they can't just live. People are the one that won't leave them alone and let them live just as we are. Great question.

Answer 7

there's no big deal, but coming out is like celebrating who you are truly rather than having to hide behind rules set up by society. And if you don't care then don't pay attention, but let others have a great time and celebrate a new brother or sister into the community.

Answer 8

The fact is that people declare their heterosexuality all the time. "Jennifer Aniston is dating Vince Vaughn." "Britney Spears is having Kevin Federline's baby." "My girlfriend and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean this weekend." It's just that being gay or bi is not as accepted, and it's a popular subject for rumors, so it stands out more when someone says, "Yes, I am." You guessed in '99; you didn't *know*.

Incidentally, I think he's going for publicity.

Answer 9

it IS still such a big deal...especially for people in the public eye who are scrutinized more than the rest of us. there are still so many horrible bigots in this world who want to hurt/harass/take work and rights away from those they hate..whether it's due to sexual orientation, race, religion, gender, age, etc.
he felt, due to the band's popularity, that it would have "hurt" the band at that time. and he's probably right.

Answer 10

coming out is tough for most men, it should be celebrated..what it signifies, is accepting yourself after a lifetime of living a lie, it IS special to overcome a world that is telling you that you are a sinner, or ******, sick pervert. I never wanted to be one of these things..Now I know that I am not, and I just like men, and so yes I celebrate finally knowing that I am normal, its the unaccepting society that makes us come out, quit putting us in a closet and we will quit coming out.