My friend is 38 weeks pregnant, and her boyfriend told her he would try to be there when his son is born, Is it fair for me to tell her to just have someone else there instead of having to worry if he will show up?
2006-07-27 05:32:37 · 6 answers · asked by sheila a 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you are really close friends she probably won't be offended if you suggest it. If you are comfortable with it you could offer to be a "second" support person for her. That way she will be sure to have someone there to help her out just in case and if he does show up you can just step aside. She will really need someone to be there to support her and help her out...I couldn't imagine going through it alone. So I would say be a good friend and just throw the idea out there but don't tell her that it's because you are afraid he won't show...tell her it's just because you would like be there for her.
2006-07-27 06:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by totspotathome 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's fair to tell her that, but sasmallworld made a lot of sense too. If he is only going to 'try' to be there for the birth, then it's obviously not that important to him, it doesn't sound like he's looking at it as 'his' child too, and with an outlook like that, he may not be there for her in the future anyway. Of course you don't want to be the bearer of that news while she is pregnant. Ask her to find out how many people are allowed in delivery with her, and if it's more than one, she can ask someone she knows will be there for her.
2006-07-27 12:46:49 · answer #2 · answered by ANGELa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask her if it would be ok to "tag along", or invite some family members to be there. don't directly accuse her bf of being bad, but just encourage the idea that it would be a great honor for u or other people to come along and support her! that way, if her bf Does show up, she'll be happy, and if he doesn't, maybe she'll realize who is there for her and who is not. sounds like u have some reservatons about the guy..... keep an eye on the relationship, if u feel that he is not treating her right, tell her that she needs a guy who is stable and will be there for her no matter what, and makes her feel secure and happy. having a baby is an awesome thing, but sharing it w/ people who care makes it that much sweeter. it's nice that u are so caring for her..... try not to upset her by saying bad things about her bf, but focus on the positives of what u and her family can do for her. if she is a strong woman she will see that she deserves better, if she is not strong, constantly encourage her to be happy, confident, successful woman and she will feel better about herself.
2006-07-27 12:39:31 · answer #3 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think its your place to tell her that, I can understand why she would want and hope the father of her child would be there. Most places let more than one person to watch the delivery so maybe she can have back up or at least have someone in the waiting room just in case he doesn't show up so she doesn't have to be by herself.
2006-07-27 12:37:43 · answer #4 · answered by JAngel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think its fair. She's your friend, but her relationship with the childs father, or with this man, really doesnt invlove you.
You could offer instead to be a back up moral support if she decides she needs you. If thats something you'd like to do for her.
2006-07-27 12:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could tell her to have someone else there just in case so she doesn't have to be alone.And if he shows up then the other person could sit in the waiting area.
2006-07-27 13:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by Ms.Danielle 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋