He is a good man and a very loving father. He works hard and is very faithful to his family. I'm just not attracted to him anymore. I feel like I have to stay with him for finacial reasons and it is gettin to be really depressing. HELP ME! What should I do???
2006-07-27 05:13:30 · 40 answers · asked by Rebecca S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should get a job and tell him how you feel!
Beer_farts~Don't speak for all women!!!!!!
2006-07-27 05:15:25 · answer #1 · answered by ?born2lose? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have an affair. I can't believe people actually suggest that.
Seriously, you really should reevaluate your situation. Sure, you love him, and the fact that you've invested a lot into this relationship is a weight on your shoulders no doubt. But you have to think of your happiness also. Don't worry about the kids, they will understand when they're older.
My parents have been married for over 30 years. Same situation as you. I wish they'd divorced back then, but I didn't understand it and didn't want it to happen. But it would've been better for both my parents if they had've. Now my mom is miserable and feels it's too late for financial reasons. Nothing can change her mind.
You have the power to change your life. You must do what makes YOU happy. I know you love your kids and husband, and to them it may seem selfish. But in time they will understand that you work better apart than together!
2006-07-27 05:27:43 · answer #2 · answered by shortbus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling.. Decide if staying w/him is worth ur sanity... The last thing u wanna do is step out of ur relationship because then u'd be saying that ur vows didn't mean a thing..
See a counselor 1st, then have a sit down w/ur husband and see if there is any other options besides separating or divorcing..
Staying together for the kids is a big no-no.. it causes a lot of strain and eventually they'll see it and start asking questions.. during this process u should reassure ur children that u love them and that no matter what there #1.. but right now ur #1 because u have to take care of u before anyone else...
Good luck
2006-07-27 05:18:22 · answer #3 · answered by Queen D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well marriage is hard work, and you know that. When he was courting you, you were both excited. When you got married, best day of your lives, and a new beginning. When you had your children, a time you will treasure. So now you are mother of children, but that lady in you is still trying to exist, as it should. Women and men, need rekindling of the flame, to keep the romance alive. Perhaps you need to just schedule some time as a couple to see if there is some romance left in you. I think you need to have this discussion as scary as it is with your husband, what if he is feeling the same way? Help yourself and sit down and speak with him, all to often women feel one way, they never tell their husbands. They expect that if their husband knew them they would know what they are feeling. Get a grip, guys do not think that way. Try taking a weekend romantic trip somewhere without the kids, if you can?
2006-07-27 05:22:48 · answer #4 · answered by Gilligan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to re-connect. Tell him how you feel. Look at him again, not just as the bread winner or the dad, look at him as a man, a lover, remember the things that first turned you on about him. Date him again. Make a date at least once a week where you can be alone and re-connect. That is very important. Life, mortgages, car payments, jobs and kids can very easily put out a flame for your spouse. Only YOU can re-kindle it. If everything else is good in the relationship then it is most definitely worth working on!
Good luck
2006-07-27 05:32:23 · answer #5 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a good man and a good father. Do you know how hard those are to find? There are reasons you married this man. Remember what they are. Act as if you are crazy in love with him, because the more you act that way and put yourself in that mindset, the more it will become true. Finally, do your marriage a gigantic favor and read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands." It's a lifesaver.
2006-07-27 05:20:23 · answer #6 · answered by SLWrites 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should start to date again. Start to do things that you did when you were actually dating.
You said you are not attracted to your husband? Do you still love him? Did you marry him just because you are attracted to him? If so, that may be your problem. Yes, attractness can help, but it shouldn't be the only reason you marry him.
Marriage life takes work, and I think some people think that after they are married, things will get better, and everything will be better. (Single life had problems and so will married life).
Another thing, you may just be going through a phase in your life. So if you love him, just stick with it and it will likely get better again. Hope this helps.
2006-07-27 05:25:04 · answer #7 · answered by ~~Catbird Woman~~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably not attracted to you either but he has the integrity to be faithful. If you choose to cheat, be ready to see him toss you out if you get caught. Cheaters are selfish low life pigs. They are never satisfied with anything for long and wind up living a meaningless lonely life. Try doing the right thing, get some marriage counseling and make an effort to find why your not attracted to him. Maybe its because he finds you to be a repulsive selfish tramp. This sounds just like LLD.
2006-07-27 06:10:21 · answer #8 · answered by paulsexpress 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have to stay with him? If you work you can get out of the marriage. Talk to him. Or maybe the 2 of you need a vacation alone. Separate for as while and see what happens. But you need to talk to him. Think about what attracted you to him in the first place.
DON'T HAVE AN AFFAIR
2006-07-27 05:19:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself why you are no longer attracted to him. Have you both grown apart, have you changed, has your relationship become stale and routine? These are all things which can lead to what you are describing. You need to give some serious thought as to why you are no longer attracted to him before you do anything. Try and spice your lives up, both in and out of hate bedroom and see if that helps. The longer you let the relationship languish though the harder it will be to reconnect to one another. Once you have figured out your own feelings on why you are no longer attracted to him, sit down and discuss it honestly. I hope this helps and gives you something to think on.
2006-07-27 05:20:50 · answer #10 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember what first attracted you to him. Talk to him. Tell him that you still love him. Maybe you need time for just the 2 of you. Take a weekend trip without kids, cel-phone or anything that will get the way of alone time. Then plan to have date night at least one a month.
2006-07-27 05:41:49 · answer #11 · answered by ladytc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋