ok have a bf that kinda hangs with the wrong crowd and my mom knows he does she says he is a bad kid and i know he is not trust me i would not be going out with some one who may hurt me or is a bad person i dont think my mom under stand that i really do like some alot for the first time i want to show her he is a good guy how do u think i should do so do think my mom is write for not lettin him see me or should i do so behind her back im so confused hand need all answers please help !!!
2006-07-27 05:06:58 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
sorry for all the miss spells i was typing really fast .
2006-07-27 05:08:16 · update #1
why dont you have him over for dinner or something lol and have your mom get to know him
2006-07-27 05:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by rel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe mother's know best every time, and I am even a mother, but i also know that teenage girls who are new to love and dating don't know best either!
My philosophy is if you know he isn't hanging out with the right crowd, then that is obviously a red sign. Most people that hang out with a certain crown tend to become a part of that crowd. Do you want to become a part of the bad crown? Hopefully he's not a druggie or into things like that, trust me its not worth you loving him.
Love is always blind in the begginning, just remember that all those feeling will some day go away and you will be left with the real relationship you have, thats when most people break up it seems, especially at your age, since you more than likely won't be getting married!
As for my experience I have been with a guy (who is the father of my child) for the past 3 years now. We first started dating when I was 16, but made it official when I was 18. My mom never liked him, but I knew there was a quality I loved about him, and it was that he didn't take love lightly. If he loved someone he meant it, and he would be serious with me if he loved me. At the same time it was hell getting to the point of us truely loving eachother.
Yah know, for your age I would totally say just have fun, don't get into anything serious. Wait til after you are 21 to get into a serious relationship. I absolutely love the way my life has gone, but I do have to say that I met a boy and we had a child and I was 20 about to be 21. Then when 21 hit I wish I could have been out there partying with my friends, or had even gone to college long enough to get my bachelors degree...
enough about me! Your mom is just trying to protect her little angel, and that is totally her job and be proud that she is doing it!
Think of it this way, if you have a totally awesome boyfriend that your mom adores, but behind her back he says mean things to you... your mom doesn't know best!
You are going to do what you want more than likely, just be smart about the situation!
2006-07-27 12:24:45 · answer #2 · answered by Braidynsmama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you and your mom need tol have a long talk. You believe he is not bad, but the friends he hangs with are? Sorry to say this but alot of times, even when they dont want to guys start to mold into those guys. If you dont think so give it a couple of months, and watch how he changes around you and his friends. If think he is the kind of guy that isnt the same as all his friends, then your lucky. But be careful. You will see the change how he acts when you to are alone, and then when you two are with them. Mothers do know more than we think. I have learned the hard way by not listening to her. Im not saying they are always right but they do know. and Most the time all they want is your happiness.
2006-07-27 12:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by lil_frosty93654 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have the same exact problem! My bf smokes and drinks, is 3 years older than me (I'm 14), has had sex many times b4 and wants me to do it too! Well... I started seeing him bhind my mom's back. He's a good guy deep down, he's just a little insecure and wants 2 constantly impress his "friends". So... my advice 2 u is: if u really like him and think u can get away with it, tell ur mom ur going out w/ GIRL friends 2 study or 2 go shopping or whatever u would do w/ them, and then really go meet ur bf. How old r u? D'you wanna b internet buddies? E-mail me.
2006-07-27 12:14:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about all the miss spells. I do it myslef when I am in a hurry.
Ok if this boy is hanging out with the wrong crowd then he is WRONG for you. You may think he is not bad, but why is he hanging out with the WRONG crowd? I think you are seeing him through rose colored glasses. (because you like him so much - you have trouble seeing him for what he really is)
Trust your mom on this one. And never - EVER go behind her back for anything.
If he liked you the way you obviously like him - he would change - if only to please your mother.
Please move on before you get mixed up in that same 'wrong crowd'
2006-07-27 12:12:30 · answer #5 · answered by helpme1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Essentially you have a choice.
1) You can jeopardize the relationship you have with your parents by being a lair, and hiding, running around behind their backs and seeing this man.
2) You can stand up for your bf, live honestly and in the open by writing your mom a letter (that way she can't interrupt you, and reads everything before commenting) telling her all of the things you love about him, and how he is not a bad boy...etc.
3) You can break up with the bf, concentrate on your education and learn how to write coherent sentences and improve yourself.
2006-07-27 12:11:47 · answer #6 · answered by magerious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would do as your mother advises; after all, birds of a feather flock together, and someone who hangs out with the wrong crowd is much more likely to become part of it. And mothers always, always understand.:)
Which is more important to you? Your relationship with your mother, or your relationship with this guy?
It is admirable for you to try to show your boyfriend's good side to your mother; but if he is not showing it otherwise, then it is not close enough to his true nature. Explain the situation to him and ask him to reform, as it were. If he refuses, then he is probably no good.
Have him meet your mother.
I deduce from your writing style that you are well below 18; there is plenty of time and plenty of other males out there; I doubt that you're considering him for the long haul anyway.
2006-07-27 12:15:30 · answer #7 · answered by Ben G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom isn't the type to find something wrong with every guy you date or like, then I would definitely trust her judgment. You'll thank her later when the relationship sours. That or he'll eventually turn you against your own mother and she'll be there for you no matter what. Trust your mom, she's been there, done that and wants the best for you.
2006-07-27 12:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by Skypride 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby girl. You should consider your mother's advice and distance yourself from this guy. She is not just suggesting this to control your life, but because she is older and has had experience with this type of situation.
He may be a nice guy with good intentions, but hanging with the wrong crowd means he does not have his priorities in order. All it takes is for him and YOU to be around this "wrong crowd" in the wrong place at the wrong time and you can end up in a bunch of trouble.
Remember what happened to P.Diddy and JLo from being in the wrong place at the wrong time. If it wasn't for their celebrity status they would probably be in prison right now.
Take heed and associate only with people who have the same educational goals, and upbringing that you do.
Do not waste your time on thug-life!!
2006-07-27 12:22:37 · answer #9 · answered by anosey1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok -- here's the problem. If he is hanging out with a bunch of people who are not like him......don't you think that is odd? I mean would you hang out with a group of people you have nothing in common with? I understand why your mom would feel that way. It may not be exactly fair but at the same time, on the same level -- you have to understand her concern. Are you sure he's right for you? LOVE IS BLIND ya know --- there is truth to that. Sometimes we will close our eyes to certain things ---- then later they bite us in the a***....
please remember that.
2006-07-27 12:10:56 · answer #10 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your Mom has been around a lot longer than you have. She is trying to protect you from the bad in life. Take a breath and try to listen to your Mom. You may not like everything she says, but you will thank her later in life.
2006-07-27 12:09:34 · answer #11 · answered by dirkdiggler9999 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋