Should we move away from family, friends, and church just to buy a house?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 2 years and we have a one bedroom condo. We've talked about getting a bigger place so that we can start a family soon, but we cannot afford a house where we live. The market is outrageous and we would have to move out of state to get a house. I don't want to move out of state because we would be leaving everything: our families, friends, and church. We would be starting over completely just so that we can get a bigger place. I want to be supportive to my husband but I just don't think we will be happy moving away from all of this. What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

no you shouldnt..well if you can find you a church down there that you'll are comfortable with then that will be ok cause you can go and visit your familly..jus dont quit going to church

Answer 2

You already know the answer. I look at the way you worded your question, and your feelings are obvious. The word "just" says it all. You don't want to move. And I sure understand your reasons. It is very difficult to relocate, and build a new network of friends. It takes time and patience. Finding a new church is also a challenge, and settling in with the new congregation takes work. And of course you can't take your family with you . You will not have the comfort of their presence as often as do now if you move. Relocating also puts a stress on marriages. Instead of having a number of people to rely on, you just have one another until you build a new life. It takes a good two years to get settled in. And I gather from your statement that he is in favor of moving. Moving would give you the opportunity to become home owners and to have the space to raise a family. Owning a home and starting a family are major adjustments. I would sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel. Perhaps you have plenty of time before your childbearing years are up, and you can put the issue of moving aside for a while. You might feel very differently in a few years. Keep in mind also thiat your financial position can change. You might be surprised to find that eventually you can afford a house where you live now. Explore creative financing. Talk with your family and see if they would be willing to help you and your husband in any way. And I'll bet you don't have to move out of state to find a home that you can afford. Also keep in mind that plenty of people raise families in apartments and condos. It doesn't have to be a house. Have a talk with your husband and tell him how you feel. Good luck.

Answer 3

Hard decision. I just moved out of state with my family to buy a house. Though scary, looking back this was such an awesome decision. Not only are we now home owners but we live in a great, supportive community and already have close friendships. My family (sisters and their family, dad and mom) are actually moving this way too!
I think that family, friends and community are important, very important. Life is also about your immediate family. You, your husband and future children. While it may be hard at first, if you make the decision make the best of it! You can always move back. You'll never know what you're missing if you don't take risks like moving out of the state to START A FAMILY! =)

Answer 4

We have moved with our family out of state and overall it seemed difficult at the time - however, in the long run my children learned to make new friends in different places and how to be adaptable. They learned more about people overall and decision-making skills.

We're back in our home town bc my husband got a job here by chance.

With today's improvements in communications, internet, cameras, cell phones, travel options - there is no reason why a family can't stay in touch and yet make a home out of state. It's done all the time.

If on the other hand, you are not comfortable with that, stay in the condo or look for a little house in a neighborhood you can deal with and then commute.

Really, there is something to be said for having a zest for living and expanding your horizons. Home is really in the heart anyway and you carry it with you always.

Answer 5

there maybe a way for you to stay close, and yet get a bigger house, have you checked into foreclosure property, in that , you end up buying something at a lower price because the old tenents could not afford the payments or have split up any how, is apparent you have a computer, type foreclosures (your state) in your search bar. and look at the results

Answer 6

We did & we could not have made a better choice.All Family & Friends more than understand that this was the only way we could afford a home of our own.If you get any strife,they are not looking out for your best interest.Better your life.I'm sure your family & friends do not put 100% of their decision making in your hands.They do what they feel is right for them.Best of Luck! Stand strong & do not give in.

Answer 7

It's your decision, so it really doesn't matter what I, or anyone else, thinks about it. Of course if you do move out of state and start over with a new job and all that, his credit will be such that they won't seriously consider letting him go into debt for a house, so you may be worried about something that will never happen.

Answer 8

Check with your Realtor about special programs for first time home buyers. They can usually help you with the down payment and lower interest rates...Try to stay close to your family. family is important...so are good friends and a Good church is very hard to find and replace. I know about that much..Look, just check it out, it may help you..Good Luck.

Answer 9

What matters is what you two agree on as a couple. All the other can be compensated for by phone calls, visits & you need to be able to talk about this for a positive solution for your marriage to work & be strong in the decision.