2006-07-27 05:00:36 · 24 answers · asked by mj23 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't say she is obsessed with the lover. Being with her lover is most likely exciting, I bet he makes her feel good about herself, maybe he tells her things she wished her husband would say or does things she wished her husband would do.
On the other hand, maybe her husband is stable and familiar. She may still love him and doesn't want to hurt him.
If she is not careful, she may lose both of them. She needs to figure out what it is she really wants and go for it.
2006-07-27 05:37:41 · answer #1 · answered by Cookielady 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well the first thing that comes to mind is the question, Do both men know about each other? If both men know about the other and neither is pushing for an end to the relationship the best might be to let the status quo continue. It may not be a case of "having her cake and eating it too" as others suggest. Each man must be giving her something the other is not, and by having both she is happily fulfilled. I am not saying it to be right or wrong, but poly-amorous relationships are beginning to become more prevalent, and for some people this situation can work out very well. You might mention this to your friend and see what she thinks, but most certainly if the guys do not know about one another then she should face the music and come clean to everyone involved and explain to both men what it is she is getting from them. Honesty must be the cornerstone of any relationship and without it she has no relationship with either of them.
Just my 2 cents worth
2006-07-27 12:14:48 · answer #2 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need 2 sit her down and look her in the eyes and tell her that u can't go on like this anymore and that she will always have a place in your heart but it's geting harder 2 go on and that is not right 2 her husband. and when she decide 2 move on for her husband let u know. but not given in 2 her crying and when she says but I love u. U will have to be strong for her and u. It will be painful be after that go out and do stuff like work and hang out w/ that make u happy.
2006-07-27 12:08:46 · answer #3 · answered by ginajane 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u can actually love more than one person. but this person seems like she wants the cake and eat it too. all i can say is i feel sorry for her. maybe she gets emotional love from her lover and all other things from her husband.maybe the bf should just tell her make a choice or let him like this as long as it last after all he did have an affair with a married woman he knew what he was getting into
2006-07-27 12:04:34 · answer #4 · answered by in ur face 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not call it persay "obsessed"... but it doesnt seem fair to either her "lover" nor her husband... She is basically cheating on both men and its not fair to etiher to be respected like that... She should chose one or the other because its only going to get harder as time progresses... I wish you the very best of luck on your answer and throughout your life.
2006-07-27 12:05:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's selfish and not thinking clearly. She knows what she's doing but she chooses to ignore it. And if the guys know, they're chumps for sticking around and putting up with that crap. She obviously doesn't desire her husband any longer, and should divorce him. If there's no spark, then he might as well be her roommate, because that's basically what he is at this point. I hope they don't have kids. yeesh.
2006-07-27 12:21:34 · answer #6 · answered by shortbus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she doesnt know what she wants after 3 years then she is very mixed up emotionally.
She's hanging on to both because each gives her something the other doesnt.
That said
It is unfair on all 3 of them
She needs to make her mind up.
2006-07-27 12:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by freerange00720002000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to admit this but I was a woman like this. I was married and had an affair with a single guy. I liked him a lot but to behonest never had any intention of leaving my husband. He would ask and ask when I was leaving, he wanted to marry me, even went looking at houses for us, but in the end.....I"m still married to my husband. My advice, leave this woman.
2006-07-27 12:06:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, geesh, after 3 years why would she want to choose? She's been having it all for such a long time why choose at all, just keep going on the same way.
2006-07-27 12:09:49 · answer #9 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she's being selfish or just confused either way it's not good for u because she's now thinking about your feelings and thats not fare to u,if u think that u r important to her tell her to make a choice or u will have to leave her alone.u should be frist in her life or any other womans life u shouldn't feel second to anyone if i was u i'll tell her to pick one or move on
2006-07-27 12:05:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋