My Bf told me yesterday that 5 months ago he cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend. He said it only happened once and he stopped about 5 minutes in because he knew it was wrong so he told her to leave. He claims it never happened again and he hasnt seen her since. He says it wasn't planned and she just showed up and came on to him. He said he's never did n-e thing after and has been completely faithful to me since. He says he's sorry and doesn't want me to throw him away over one mistake. I kno he loves and he's a really great bf but I'm so hurt by this. I dont want to leave him but I dont want to seem stupid by staying with him. What should I do????
2006-07-27 04:30:48 · 41 answers · asked by smilez 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
thunder_kok says make up a story saying you did the same thing so he knows how it feels
2006-07-27 04:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by thunder_kok 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all how long have you been together?? You must consider all of the following before making a serious decision. Can you ever truly forgive him or will you always hold this above his head forever? Really think about the next time you have a serious fight or the next time a man approaches you will you feel free to flirt or throw the past in his face in your favor in the heat of the moment? If you cannot do that then do you and him a favor and leave. No one wants to be with someone who holds a grudge against them and no one wants to be with someone who will make them feel less because they got carried away in the heat of the moment. Also think about if he is really worth putting yourself through so much pain and heart ache? When someone cheats it is like a stab in the heart, sometimes it is better to just leave and find someone who will treat you right and someone who will respect you enough to never betray your trust. Also, think about why it took him so long to tell you. It this really someone you love and trust 100%?
2006-07-27 04:49:17 · answer #2 · answered by petite souris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this is what you do .If you really love some one you should be willing to trust them and give them a second chance. So just approach your BF calmly and telll him that although you cheated on me I love you so much to give you a second chance. then never talk about it again because if you do he will think you are hounding him and he feels like that every day your bringing up something that is in the past. Oh, and if you ever get in a argument never bring it up either because then he'll think that every time you argue you bring that up as an excuse. This is weird, I'm only eleven and I'm already giving advice to some one older than me. Well i hope this helps you and I hope you sort your problems out with your BF. Bye
2006-07-27 04:39:10 · answer #3 · answered by Jazz Isaac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself, "If you were in his posision, would you want him to forgive you?" If you can't get over the hurt and betrayl of trust, then there seems to be no point in staying. He did tell you, he gave you honesty, if you want to repair the relationship, it will take a lot of time to repair the trust that has been breached here. Look inside yourself, is he worth all the work of putting this relationship back together? If not, you might consider leaving him anyways. It might hurt at first, because you love him, but sometimes you have to do what feels right for you. If you can't forgive and forget and move on, then you are only hurting yourself by staying.
2006-07-27 04:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by outlandsishlady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that's a tough one because you have to consider the fact is he telling the truth and did nothing really happen. i see it like this even if she did come on to him he allowed it to go on for 5 minutes, which i know doesn't sound like alot of time but its just the principal, he should have never even allowed it to go on for that long if he really cares about you the way that he says he does he would have the situation before it ever happened. But like you said you don't want to leave him but you don't want to be stupid for staying with him, that's a decision your heart has to decide on its own, no one can really change the matters of the heart. But if something happens once with guys, it usually will happen again. You have to think about what is best for you.
2006-07-27 04:39:19 · answer #5 · answered by Latasha G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I ve been there, its a hard situation, but if he was mature enough to tell you without you asking him , then I think you should give him another chance, but if you honestly think he will do it again, then dont. Right here is a situation called do you enough trust to go on with the relationship? You ask yourself that, and whatever you come up with go with it, and dont doubt yourself. If you decide to stay with him, tell him I forgive you for this, but I will need some time before I can have trust for you again. And your not stupid. Your human. All you can do is go with your heart. If you honetly think he is truly sorry and wont do it again. Then stay with him and try not to think about what happend, and start moving on with your lives. Just go with your heart, and be honest with yourself. Take Care. and if your the praying kind, Pray about it. That always helps me.
2006-07-27 04:38:35 · answer #6 · answered by lil_frosty93654 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him credit for telling you in the first place. The next guy you might pick will most definitely not tell you. Keep him, this one has a huge conscience, which is hard to find now a days. Move forward and consider yourself lucky. Good Luck
2006-07-27 04:35:15 · answer #7 · answered by Dan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he's telling the truth and it probably took a lot of courage for him to tell you the truth rather than hide it. but then he waited 5 months to tell you this!!?! he must be feeling guilty or something. give him one chance but if it happen again get rid of him. you need to confront him about if it wasn't his fault and his ex-girlfriend did come onto him why did he take so long to tell you about it? i'm not so sure he's telling the truth after all. maybe he hit on her instead and is lying to you by saying she did it. maybe he was just coming up with an excuse to clear his guilty conscience. i'm not so sure i believe him after all. dump him - tell him you don't know how to trust him anymore.
2006-07-27 04:43:28 · answer #8 · answered by harps21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie first of all no guy is worth crying over, no man should never have the right to disrespect you in such a way, he should have never been talking to his ex girlfriend in the first place. If you really care for him then you just need to teach him a lesson and dont talk to him for a while, make it clear to him that what he did wasn't right and ur not gonna tolerate it.
2006-07-27 04:36:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can except that he cheated and will not do it again then you both need to sit down and really discuss what happened and how he hurt your relationship. But do remember he cheated once he might do it again. This is a decision only you can make.
2006-07-27 04:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by middle aged and love it 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
normally i would tell you to leave him.... but if you really trust what he's saying then i think he's one of the few that you can give a second chance to.... these things happen.... i realize that, ive been there....it doesnt mean he cares any less, and your lucky he told you.... most men wouldnt.... i would say that you let him know how hurt you are and let him know that even though you want to stay together, he is basically on "probationary terms" with you....
good luck!
2006-07-27 04:34:33 · answer #11 · answered by Whitney 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋