My Husband..................HELP!!!!?

Question

Ok....My husband is an a kinda FUNK. He says that it is not money (normally when he is down it ts because of money). He says that he is just not feeling very good about himself right now. We feed off of eachothers emotions (when he is down i am down and vice versa). He says that it will pass as it always does and he will get over it. The problem is that we have a new baby and when I am down my baby down and very fussy (i think that that is the reason for my earlier question). I really need some advise as to how to get him to feel better If there is any thing that I can do or anything that someone could recommend. I also want to stress the fact that I love my husband and I really want him to feel better. (it is his self image that he is down about). Also no matter how much I try to make him feel good about himself it only last for that period of time.........20min to an hour later he is back in that FUNK again. PLEASE HELP!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THE ANSWERS THUS FAR.......this is our second child and h is down about the person he is as a whole not just apperance but everything. He says he thinks that he is neglecting US because he always has to work. he says that he hates the way he looks and the way he comes home from work. Yestarday he said he would love to take me and the kids to diner but it was impossible because by the time we got back he would have t go off to work and not see us until the next evening (allowing time for him to sleep after working over night). AGAIN THANKS SO FAR

Answer 1

It's normal for everybody to feel down once in a while, the best way that I have found to combat these feelings is exercise. Exercise releases endorphins, the "feel-good hormones", and helps to get rid of the blues. It also helps because when you are done, you know you've done something good for yourself and it makes you feel better. It can be anything from a long walk, to a bike ride, to an intense work-out in the gym...but it always makes me feel better.

If itlasts very long or happens very often then he should see a doctor. Nobody should have to put up with feeling depressed for long periods of time.

Answer 2

Sometimes, after the first baby is born, the husband feels left out
It isn't an intentional thing. But you are giving your full attention(and for good reason) to the baby right now. Also, he realizes now that he has the responsibility of raising this precious gift from God, which is not a responsibility to take lightly . Give him a little time. See if someone you trust can keep the baby once in a while, for a few hours, so that the two of you can have some time ,also.

Answer 3

Good afternoon; A lot of people are unsure about their self esteem. Employment, the future, finance's and relationship's and many other factors can affect people that way. You sound on the right track when you say you want to know why. Treating a symptom only affects the symptom and not the cause. Address the cause and you could change things. You are 21 y/o ,I think ,with two children. That is a lot of responsibility for a young couple to carry. I don't know much about the rest of your situation but, is counsel ling a option? Professional, clergy or one of those Help Line's? You sound like a caring concerned well meaning mom. Try is all I can offer. What have you got to lose? Communicate with you partner and go from there. If he is not interested in changing than you have other decisions to face. I wish you well....Nick.......

Answer 4

most of the time when a guy is in the dumps ESPECIALLY about himself/self image the best thing to do is say hey Im here if ya wanna talk/vent! In MY experience there just isnt much anyone can do. my husband is in a funk as you say right now too! several reasons,the main one is a tornado wiped out his factory where he worked a few months back,and he is getting unemployement now till they are up n running again,that is gotten him all funky! LOL
just let him know ya care about how he feels and will listen any time,then let it go,its really the best way to go! hope that helps you out! congrats on the new baby,I have 3 kids myself,they are great! my youngest is 5 months old! good luck

Answer 5

Your husband may actually be suffering from Post Partem depression. Guys can get this too. He may be just overwhelmend with the new responsibility and is internally trying to get his mind matured for the sake of his child.

Sometimes people go through phases where they're pondering or contemplating decisions they made in life. Now that your baby is here, maybe he's beating himself up for not going down a more lucrative career path or something else.

Out of the blue self image issues...hmm..this sounds like my fiance sometimes. He used to be down on himself all the time but now that he's been working out, he feels great about himself and I can't keep him out of the mirror! Maybe a new workout regimen will relieve some of that built up stress.

My advice is to let him deal with it himself. He'll snap out of it soon. Just be a good listener and be there for him, but not asking every five minutes if something's wrong. Just be supportive.

Maybe he needs to have a beer with the guys so he can vent to his buddies. That works wonders too.

Good luck and congrats on your little baby. Mine is 6months old now!

Answer 6

As a father and a husband I can tell you the added overall responsibility of a growing family can be almost overwhelming. You think "My God, what have I done? How will I support this family, how will I ever give them enough of myself? How will I ever be able to afford all this?" Even though all that percieved responsibility does not solely depend on him, believe me, he's feeling it. This can turn into a vicious cycle. It sounds like he has developed almost a clinical depression if he's that down on himself. It sounds like you're a great wife and you're doing all you can. Having a baby in the house stresses everyone with it's constant demands, daily routine changes and lack of sleep on your part, just to name a few. I can see how this would affect all of you. If this has been going on for awhile it might be time to get him to a doctor. They can best evaluate him and see if some counseling or antidepressant medication might be needed to get you all back on your feet again. Good luck.

Answer 7

k..... I would get a babysitter to keep our child at there home, I would drop him/her off myself and then I would prepare the house before my loved hubby came home!! I would cook a spectacular dinner with lite music and nothing but candle lite, Oh and wear nothing but your sexiest house robe!! Shower, shave, fix your hair and cover the bed in rose pedals, or sunflower pedals , which ever you and him prefer!! Fill the bath with beads and oils and bubble bath, and have some chocolate syrup by the bed and some toys you like to use.... and you and your hubby have a fantastic, good eatin, romantic, sex filled evening, and when your done with all the treats.... lounge on the couch together and rub eachothers feet while watching a good movie.... Make a whole night of it, and get your baby home safely the following morning! Let him know that he is still sexy and turns you on more then ever, that whatever happens in the world outside the walls you live in, is out there and has no barings on your home and marriage to eachother, the two of you can get through anything! The only thing that matters is that there is still love in your home with plenty of seduction to last a lifetime!!

Answer 8

why do u think he has such bad self image right now? is it appearance? is it that he doesn't feel smart? is it that he doesn't feel attractive? encourage him by doing things with him.. if he feels fat, try to walk w/ him everyday, take the baby in the stroller. or maybe encourage him to take a class, or join a group or club. have him bring his friends over for poker night. try to make him feel attractive, loved, wanted, and cared for. that's all u can do on ur part... if he still is down, u may want to sit down and really talk to him; perhaps he is contemplating some important decisions and is stressed out, or needs help w/ a raise, or something like that. find out what it is about him that is making him feel down, and try to work on it *together*. like u said, when he is down, u are down, not because u blame him but because u love him. make him feel supported, and hopefully he will open up to you. also, if u want to take an extra step perhaps u could go to some kind of counseling, where they are trained to ask specific questions and can try to pinpoint what is going on. good luck~

Answer 9

Ok he's in a funk. Been there done that. My experince is this. he needs a little boost. try B-12 . Theres one that you just put under your tounge and it dissoves and goes straight to your blood stream. And here whats is does. It adds the B-12 vitiam that your body needs and it promotes a more energy. So in fact it makes you want to do more. It's perfectly safe you can buy it over the counter. Try this and I bet in a week you will see a noticable change in your hubby Good Luck

Answer 10

If this has been going on for over 2 weeks then he really should go to his doctor. As I have always said....babies are a huge transition and he may be feeling the pressure. A wife, a child, maybe even feeling a little trapped.....they have medication for depression and nobody says he has to take it forever...this may be just a slump and he needs a little help getting through it.