Was He Wrong ?

Question

Ok I came home friday and my husband says his friend asked if he could go to his cousins wedding with him to hang out. I said no. He says he was just going to hang out with him and the guys and why I said no. I said well somewhere between his friend and him I was not invited. So we did argue and I told him I was not ok with it and upset about it and if he went that was his decision. So he went , before he left he asked what we were doing later that night I said I dont know. Well needless to say he left at 1:45 pm and ret'd at 1:15 am , drunk. So 12 hours at a wedding to hang out. Now im not friends with this guy or his wife or siblings , but my husband has been for years and also dated one of his sister's for awhile. Now she doesnt bother me but I do get weird vibes from the other sister. Like maybe she likes him or something. And I told him that and he says im reading her wrong. It's usually him and the guys fishing or poker so Im fine w/that but a wedding shldnt he hav taken me ?

also he knew I was mad when he got home because he said so. Then next morning said I didnt have a reason to be mad and he didnt think we were doing anything and thought I was ok with him going. So another argument then he apologized after I told him how I felt i.e he went to a wedding that I was not comfortable with and stayed 12 hours when I thought he was coming home to do something with me later. So he thought of them and him more than me. And said it would never happened again. So am I wrong in thinking this was a shitty thing to do to me ?

Well at first when he asked me I said no politely said I felt since it was a wedding event i felt we would both go. The argument actually started on his end when I said I explained that.

There was no invitation. It was a verbal invitation the night before.

to MJBOOG he did not know the bride or the groom he just went to go with his friend.

Answer 1

Your first warning sign is that he has friends he has known for years but you haven't become friendly with them. Then you mention he dated one of the sisters and the situation gets worse. He is keeping you away for a reason. Also he totally didn't care how you felt and went to the wedding when you asked him not to. There is no good reason why he didn't invite you to go. He is just doing what he wants to do with no regard to you. Basically this is the biggest reason that I'm scared of getting married.

Answer 2

if you are not friends with them, then, no, he shouldn't have taken you....and he shouldn't have had to ask your permission to go. And, yes, some wedding do take that long....from the actual wedding to the reception to the party afterwards...my sisters wedding day started about 8 am and I didn't even make it home untill about 4am the next morning....unless that is something he does all the time without explanation I wouldn't worry about it... you said usually him and the guys go fishing or play poker, so it doesn't sound like an everyday thing. If you aren't friends or family of the bride or groom, you shouldn't have been there. If you went, chances are (b/c you are not friends with or family of the wedding party), you would not have really enjoyed yourself and, in turn, he wouldn't have been able to have fun either. As far as your comments about the sister....what difference does she make....do you trust your husband or not....there could be 100 different girls that like your husband or want to hook up with him. That doesn't mean he is going to.

Answer 3

Actually I think you were wrong. He got a last minute invite to a wedding that sounds like it was more of a guys night out that just so happened to be at a wedding. His actions make me think it was just that. If he had wanted to go with his friend to play poker and her stayed out all night long, would you have reacted the same way? Just because it was at a wedding doesn't mean that he couldn't have a boys night out.

Now before he left, you never stated you had plans. You actually said you didn't know what you were doing later. If you had wanted him home earlier, you needed to tell him that you want to do something with him and not just leave it as I don't know. He's going to assume that means you have no plans and thus no need for him to worry about what time he needs to be home.

Now I think you and he need to sit down and talk about what happened. It sounds like you both have trouble comminucating and listening to the other

Answer 4

I don't think that this is any different than him going fishing with the guys. (mind you I am a guy so my opinion may be biassed)

Like you said he got drunk so would you really want to hang around him while he's like that anyway? ( I can't stand being around drunk people).

On the other hand however...

He should have known that you wanted to go to or for him not to go so perhaps he should have been more respectful towards you.

If you didn't have anything planned why not let him go? Everyone needs time to catch up with their friends.

I would talk to him about this other woman though. Him being drunk around her while you're not there is not a good thing. Women can take advantage of men just as easily as men can take advantage of women in these situations.

Was he wrong? Well I don't think he was WRONG but I do think it was VERY DISRESPECTFUL to disreguard your feelings and make you worry like that.

I hope you can sit down and talk it through with him

Take care.

Answer 5

I think he was wrong as a partnership they should invited you to the wedding with your husband that would of showed some respect for your marriage, acknowlegde your presence.

you husband should have put them in check and asked them why you couldn't come. that is wrong, he seems alittle selfish plus, leaving you to wait to hang out with him and not showing up until the early morning. some guys never grow up. I talk to him and make sure it doesn't happen again.

Answer 6

When someone is invited to a wedding and they are married, it is bad manners not to invite their spouse. Did you see the wedding invitation and how it was addressed? Or was this just a last minute verbal invite? I agree with you, I would have been angry if I hadn't been invited.

Answer 7

First......quit sweating the fact that another woman may like him....did you think you would be the only woman in the world to like your husband? That would make you have very lousey taste, would it not? Now, You were wrong in insisting so strongly that he not go....however, if it were me, I would have asked you, thought about it, descussed it, find out why you didn't want me to go, and think more....and probably wouldn't ahve gone....this is a case where I think you were both at fault. Possibly without you fighting wwiht him about it...he may have not gone per your request

Answer 8

It's not up to your husband to "invite" you to other people's weddings. It's up to the Bride and Groom, and they can invite or not invite whomever they want.

I think it was rude of your husband to accept the invitation since you were not included, but it is not up to your husband to "invite" you to someone else's wedding.

Answer 9

He definatly should have taken you. I know you said you didnt know the couple getting married, but this would have been the perfect time for him to introduce his wife to all of them. I would have been pissed off. How inconsiderate! If this is how he is going to be torwards your feelings, then maybe this is how you should be with his. He is being an ***.

Answer 10

usually when going to a wedding of friends whether you know both of them or not you take your spouse. he should have taken you even though you didn't know them well. him going with his friends is ok, but he should have invited you as well.