should i have this opperation or take my chances?

Question

im 26 and just been told that i need a hysterectomy i'm desperate to be a mother but have miscarried 13 times and as a result have no healthy tissue left in my womb so cant concive again ever im scared and frigtened i dont want to have an opperation that is going to take away my chances of being the mom i so want to be should i have it or should i bide my time and wait a while and see if i can concive again?

my partner is the same as me we both want children and we've tried hard to get them so the option of him hating the child is crap i aint asking much just one baby will do

they say i have to have it i wont stop bleeding till i do i miscarried 14days ago and now im still mixed up but i have to make my mind up by friday which is tommorrow

Answer 1

Judging by your English I would say you are American?

I've done a lot of work in Obs and Gynae both on the ward and in theatre. From what you describe, it may be the best course to have a total abdominal hysterectomy. Scarring that you describe can cause more problems with the uterus in situ than if removed, especially with excessive bleeding during menstruation. In UK hospitals it is usually not prudent to ask for a second opinion from a Consultant gynaecologist. Your diagnosis he won't have just made a snap decision with, he would have weighed up all the advantages and disadvantages with the proceedure. You haven't said if he is going to to do a Salpingo-oephrectomy (where they remove the ovaries as well) if this is not going to be done, you could have eggs removed and cryogenically stored so that you may have IVF treatment perhaps considering a surrogate. Of course the other alternative is adoption. I deeply sympathise with your situation and hope that you are able to make the decision that is right for you.

Answer 2

I think you should wait just now and try to concentrate on getting healthy. When you feel mentaly and physically fit enough start trying for another baby. Perhaps some alternative theropies will help you where modern medicine has failed. Having a hysterectomy will be a huge and life changing step and if you go for surgery without being 100% sure you will always regret it. You are only 26, so you are very young to take such a step. Go and see a fertility doctor and ask what they can do to help you. You might have other options you have not even realised and new treatments are being developed all the time. However some people simply cannot have children and if the situation does not change i would recommend councelling for fertility issues.

By the way my grans second baby was still born and the doctors told her at that time that she would never be able to have another healthy child, and she had 6 more! Doctors are not always right and medical opinion changes all the time. However do not endanger your health for the sake of a child. If it is essential you have the surgery then have it, however if it is not urgent, then wait.

Answer 3

Wait! Don't have it done so young unless it's about to kill you!
I'm only 27 and have dubious fertility and there is NO WAY I'd have mine taken away regardless of that.

I know someone who had a hysterectomy before their menopause and it REALLY screws up your hormones. It's not worth it unless you have a life threatening disease there.

Leave it be for now, you can always change your mind later if you say no now, but it's an irreversible effect on your life if you do have it done. A lifetime of potentially carcinogenic hormone replacement therapy, a libido in your boots and possible depression.

Don't think about the fertility issues. It's a tough thing to think about, I know, I've been there; you can always adopt or foster, but you can never get your womb back.

I bet the doctor who suggested it was either a man or a young healthy woman - they're often too quick to rip the womb out as a cure-all without letting the patient ponder the consequences. Why do you "NEED" to have it taken away? - make sure you have explored ALL the other options first.

*hug*
Hope all goes well...
Pixie

Answer 4

Don't make any hasty choices. Once your uterus has gone it has gone for good.

Questions you need to ask yourself...

Why have I been advised this way?
What are the risks of not having the hysterectomy?
What are the alternatives?
What are your symptoms and how difficult are they for ME to live with?

Is there a yahoo (or other) group where ladies with the same problem discuss them? If so join and talk to other ladies going through the same thing.

Don't assume you can adopt a baby if anyone tells you this.

You need to be very sure of what you are doing - is there less radical surgery you can go through? Do they want to take your ovaries as well?

Just a few thoughts. Mail me privately if you wish.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DECIDE BY FRIDAY. If it was that urgent you would have already been in surgery. You are too close to your latest tragegy to make a rational choice right now. You CAN NOT give informed consent until you know the full story - if your Dr insists on you signing the consent form he/she is not a good Dr.

Don't want to be too nosey here but if you have fibroids there are LOTS of alternatives to hysterectomy. Hysterectomy is a last resort. FULL STOP.

What about a re-section? Lots of babies born after that.

Answer 5

Did you only see one doctor? I would get more than one opinion on the hysterectomy. If you have cancer, that's one thing. But, just because you miscarried, that's not a very good reason for a hysterectomy. Has your doctor discussed alternatives? How about a waiting period of about 6 months to get your uterus healthy again. Or how about a D&C with a waiting period? It seems to me that a hysterectomy should be your last choice rather than the first and only choice. Once done, there's no going back, so to speak. Talk to another doctor, especially not a surgeon, about alternatives to surgery. Surgeons seem to look at the world from a knife point of views. Again, get other opinions and more alternatives. You can always get a hysterectomy.

Answer 6

It may be that you are simply not destined to have children. A hysterectomy is a big step from many angles and needs to be carefully considered. The first thing you may want to consider is getting a second opinion from a doctor that is not a surgeon. It sounds as if you may have problems that can only be addressed by surgery, but there may be alternatives to a complete hysterectomy, and it may be wise to explore all options.

Just waiting is probably not a good idea. DO attend to your health.

Answer 7

this is very sad for you but if you say you have "no healthy tissue left in your womb" there seems very little point holding out for .......what?. You really need to come to terms with your situation now and maybe think about other ways of having a child. I know this is harsh, but you are young enough to come this just fine. Dont let this ruin your life. Allow it to colour your life and maybe change your future - a little or a lot - but dont let it take your life and your future away. Have the op and look at your options. Good luck.

Answer 8

Why do you need to have the hysterectomy? .Have you had the opinion of just one doctor,or have you asked several and they all think the same. I would seek some more advice if, delaying the operation is not affecting your health. You should also be able to talk to someone, if you do have to come to terms with not carrying your own baby. Would surrogacy be out of the question if this was the case? Take Care. p.s xanana,you are a prat.

Answer 9

i would see another Dr see if anything else can be done don't ump into this i would have word with different Dr's 1st if it help I've had a miscarry myself 3 yrs ago I've been trying for 5 yrs still no luck 2 yrs ago i went to the Dr's said what up found out i have pocs which you only ovulate 2 to 3 month this a year anyway went to Dr's and got some clomid that was last week it makes you ovulate more what I'm trying to say its taken me 5 yrs to find something so please don't rush this I'm sure they can do something give you a injection or something don't stop asking till you have covered all areas good luck

Answer 10

if you leave the operation for a while, will this cause you more health problems? perhaps looking into adoption or suragacy may be the way forward either way you are going to be a mum. While you make your decision, you may want to look into the what it takes to do either of these, and make your decision based on that. I cant imagine that anyone is going to pressure you into this kind of thing. its a big decision to make. On the other hand if you have mis carried 13 times, what are the chances of a preganancy getting to full term? talk to medical professionals as they will be able to weigh up the pros and cons. I wish you all the best of luck and hope that you make the right decision for you and your partner.