How does being with a Dom/Mistress work? More questions inside.?

Question

I understand her pleasure becomes your pleasure, but how does it work for specialized requests? Say you have a foot fetish, will the mistress let you worship her feet, or will she torture you or whatever she wants and then reward you with her feet?

Because I'd totally bow down and worship a dom's feet, but I'm really not into pain. I'll submit other ways, but I'm not really into torture or anything like that.

I assume it all depends on the mistress, but does anyone have any insight for me on this?

Answer 1

A good Dom (male or female) will work the situation to maximize the benefits for both the Dom AND the sub. Before beginning to play together a good Dom will 'negotiate' (or just chat) with a sub to understand what he or she is into, likes and dislikes and what the 'limits' are for that person. A good Dom will then work the various strands into the play session - covering the areas THEY like and the areas YOU like as well.

Safe domination is an art. NEVER get involved with a Dom who is not totally committed to safe sane and consensual play.

Foot worship is a common area of play and most Doms enjoy a good foot massage and foot play as part of a play session. So be encouraged that you can meet people who will be happy to help you get what you desire.

But do so safely - join a local D/s or BDSM group. They will probably have 'munches' you can attend to get to know folks - munches are gatherings in public places where people just meet for drinks, coffee and chat - no dressing or playing allowed.

Be careful - you are in danger of being abused if you do not insist on safe behavior at all times in BDSM and D/s encounters.

Answer 2

I think that xyzor1 has pretty much the correct answer to your question and should get the points. I will comment that each Mistress/slave relationship is going to vary. Some Mistresses are relatively easy-going and will allow Her slave a wide latitude in terms of how service is performed. Others will be quite strict and demanding, and may treat Her slave in a rather demeaning way. (Of course, some slaves get off on that!)

I will agree with xyzor1 in that the needs of the submissive has to be taken into account, otherwise an unhealthy relationship emerges where an underlying resentment can build up and break down the layers of trust that are supposed to be there. Some submissives are indeed very open in terms of deriving pleasure solely from pleasing the Dominant, but I suspect that a larger number have certain ideas that they would like to have addressed.

Specialised requests work just like any other activity in the relationship, from agreements to what the power exchange is. It works both ways, and either a Dominant or a submissive may refuse a particular action. It's a process of discovering limits, and everyone has to have them and be able to keep them from being violated.

OK, I've rambled enough. Hope that helps.

Answer 3

Wow! I saw this in a movie once, but I didn't know there really WERE people like that...
Don't you have to find a donkey first?
Oh no - wait - that was a different movie.

Answer 4

Get a life , fool ..