Should mothers get paid? How much are they worth? Why/why not???

Question

First up, let me explain that we have two children - a 5 year old and a 7 month old.

My hubby and I have a standing argument about the value of mothers. He earns a substantial income (over 100K) and his job requires that he travels out of town for approximately 50% of each month.

When I told my hubby that a survey determined an average stay-at-home mother would earn $131471 annually if she received a paycheck (another survey put this figure at $508700!!), he basically laughed at me, and whenever we discuss our budget he makes snide comments about the fact that I don't earn an income.

My theory is that it is my job is to raise the children and develop them into decent human beings who become good citizens, which is obviously not as easy as it sounds, or there wouldn't be any need for prisons!

http://www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content5/mothers.worth.html
http://www.boston.com/news/nation/articles/2006/05/03/study_us_mothers_deserve_134121_in_salary/

What do you think?

Answer 1

Being a parent is the ultimate job. If you stay
home with the kids and raise them to be both
healthy and well adjusted, then you deserve
more more money and praise then your
husband.

I'm sure you husband is a good man. He does
however need to realize that your job is more
important then he seems to think. If I were your
husband, I would pay you any price that you
deemed fair for the work that you do.

However, being a parent isn't about pay. It's about
an investment in the lives of your children and their
future. The become what you are and hold the
values that you teach them.

I applaud your efforts to be a good parent.

Answer 2

The reason someone gets paid is that they perform a function that is valued by someone else. Now your husband is a jerk if he makes snide comments about your lack of income, but the only training necessary to be a mother is sex. Even if you are a good mother you are doing it because you became pregnant. (Perhaps you should withhold sex until he changes his tune.)

The value of a job is a hard and fast reflection of the number of people which can perform said function. Most women can become mothers. Not everyone can perform on camera, not everyone can hit a fastball or toss a football or hit a golf ball into the cup and not everyone can run a company; which is why those jobs get paid the big bucks.

The difficulty with all of those surveys is they take a job in the public sector and equate it with the same function that you perform in the home. They equate the job that a chef does with the mother making three meals a day, but they don’t take into account the chef doesn't sit down and eat the same meal she just made. They equate you handling a check book and balancing the house bills with a CFO, but if the CFO only had to balance a checkbook and keep the bills paid he would be making minimum wage. All of those jobs in the public sector generate money for a company. A mother does not generate money for the family.

Now don’t misunderstand, being a stay at home mom does save money for a family and is the way to raise the best kids possible, but as a single parent stay at home dad, I know how easy it is to do the stuff around the home. You are getting paid room and board, the ability to drive a car and have a life without worries (relatively speaking). That is a pretty good payday all around.

Motherhood is necessary and good - mothers are valuable, but the job is not billable.

Answer 3

I think you should go out of town for the weekend and leave the kids to let him know how hard it really is.

That having been said, paid by whom? By your husband? You share in his income and while he may not value you as he should, maybe the thing to do is show him how much it would cost for full time child care if you weren't on the scene. You're not the only one who chose to have the kids and you're not the only one who chose for you to stay home with them. Should your husband consider what you do saved revenue - absolutely and show him just how much.

Btw - as far as the government paying mothers to stay home - outside of a JD Robb book, that doesn't play. The government didn't instruct you (and by this I mean generally mothers) to have children, it's a CHOICE you made. As your choice, those children are also your responsibility and children may be the one investment from which you see 100% financial loss.

I'm a mother who works - hubby works at night and takes care of the child during the day so he fully knows how draining taking care of a child can be. Your husband may need some lessons there.

Answer 4

I have 3 kids 6, 5, 3yrs. and am in the same situation. My husbamd acts the same way. I think they just need reassurance that they are good providers and that we rely on them to help keep our family life stable and supported. Try telling him how much you appreciate everything he does for you and the kids and all the sacrifices he has to make for the family by working so hard. tell him how hard it must be for him to be away from the family so much in business trips and how much you all miss him when he's gone. Go overboard a little and see if he doesn't start to look at what you do and express a little more appreciation towards the effort you put in with the kids and house. The hard cruel fact is unless they are forced to do what we do for about a week while we go on vacation somewhere, they'll never understand. I have a degree and could make just as much as he does, but we chose to have me stay home and raise our children because that's what we felt was the best for them- and you're doing a great job too. Don't be discouraged by your husband's attitude- he may surprise you some day when the kids have grown by telling you what a great job you did with them, but in the meantime your reward will be your childrens development. They will probably be bright, well adjusted, loving , and contribute much to society- all thanks to your hard work!!

Answer 5

Your "job" taking care of your husband and children is a FULL TIME JOB! His job is not. You are a nurse, housekeeper, cook, taxi driver, babysitter, a housewifes tasks are endless. A housewife/mother works 24-7 taking care of home, husband, children, with NO DAYS OFF. Your pay should be half of his pay. If I were you I'd get a notebook and start writing down every task you do, no matter how small. Then figure an hourly rate for an educated worker with 5 or more years of experience, $15 to $25 per hour. Keep in mind, you work from the time you get up in the morning till the time you go to bed. If he doesn't like sleeping alone charge him a substantial amount for that. $500 to $1000 per night. Do this for just a week, show him his "invoice" and I bet he'll change his tune a bit.... IT WORKED FOR MY WIFE!!!!!!

Answer 6

I've seen surveys like those, equating hours spent doing household laundry to "professional laundry service," driving a child to soccer practice to "chauffeur service," cooking meals to "personal chef," etc. If those services were provided to a total stranger, perhaps you could say that's what they are and charge a service fee. But what mothers (and fathers) do is provide services to family. There's a difference.

When I visit my mother, I'm always helping out, finding things in need of repair. She's elderly, a widow, and isn't able or doesn't know how to do things like paint her house, fix a toilet, or repair a banister. I could make money doing these things, but it would be silly to assess a "value" to my help or expect compensation. She's family. It doesn't make me "worth" more than another family member who doesn't contribute as much or sacrifice as much time either. I do it because I _want_ to; the gratification comes from knowing I've lessened a burden for her. She shows her appreciation with a "thank you" and a hug. That's payment enough.

Raising children is hard work and requires sacrifice. You knew (or should have known) that going in. If you try to place a monetary value on parenthood, I think you may have missed the point of what it means to be a parent.

Answer 7

Motherhood is a 24/ 7 job that does not earn money, but
does earn great rewards , like when we get to see all
the stages our children go through as they grow & how
all our time that we put into raising them was worth it .

Yes, our husbands should let us enjoy ourselves @
least once a month & give us a Mom goes out
day while they stay home w/ the kids,, but for
us to get paid on a weekly standard is a bit
much.

Answer 8

I think you are right and that you should get paid, not as a paycheque mind you, but as a gift for a job well done.

I looked at the survey you mentioned and i believe that you are right, if your husband gives you a real hard time, go on strike, and he will soon realize your true value.

NEW YORK - A full-time stay-at-home mother would earn $134,121 a year if paid for all her work, an amount similar to a top U.S. ad executive, a marketing director or a judge, according to a study released on Wednesday.

A mother who works outside the home would earn an extra $85,876 annually on top of her actual wages for the work she does at home, according to the study by Waltham, Massachusetts-based compensation experts Salary.com.

To reach the projected pay figures, the survey calculated the earning power of the 10 jobs respondents said most closely comprise a mother’s role — housekeeper, day-care teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, chief executive and psychologist.
You can’t put a dollar value on it. It’s worth a lot more,” said Kristen Krauss, 35, as she hurriedly packed her four children, all aged under 8, into a minivan in New York while searching frantically for her keys. “Just look at me.”

Employed mothers reported spending on average 44 hours a week at their outside job and 49.8 hours at their home job, while the stay-at-home mother worked 91.6 hours a week, it showed.

An estimated 5.6 million women in the United States are stay-at-home mothers with children under age 15, according to the most recent U.S. Census Bureau data.

Answer 9

First of all, I want to say that it's wrong for your husband to make snide comments about the fact that you don't bring in an income. Second, I have to wonder where the money would come from if stay-at-home parents were paid for their work. Like another person here said, a mother's worth is priceless. However, I don't think that it would be right to pay stay-at-home parents for their work if it involved the use of taxpayers' money.

Answer 10

Lady , no one should under estimate the importance of the lady of the house also called house wife also called the home maker.Yours is a very dignified position as manager of happy home.If you want to be paid for it you are accepting that you are employed by your husband for working as a cook,baby sitter,dish washer,laundry woman and of course a concubine.And what`s more your husband can fire you at any time and employ another woman in your place..If I am selling you an insurance to keep you well fed well clothed and well housed and that too with a lot of love guaranteed how much should you pay for that insurance.Now you are paid that much already.

Answer 11

I agree with you fully and also the first answerer........ I have a 3 month old baby at home........... And i appreciate what my wife has to do to take care of him......... She has to be there for him 24/7 !!!!! And, really no amount of money could ever justify this task!!! Mothers get paid in their own way when they see their children growing up to be good human beings and doing well in life and also loving their mothers and respecting them , taking care of them!!!!
But i'm sorry that your Hubby thinks this way.........He should apreciate what you do...........Just tell him to Baby Sit your kids for a day, all by himself!!!!! Then he will realise!!