My husbands parents have been married 36 years..now they are getting a divorce and my husband is stressed out and hurt...I don't know what to do for him b/c my parents got divorced when I was 4..so I don't know what to do for him..how can I emotionally be there for him? What do I do? How do I react..it's like walking on pins and needles at home...he's really emotional and mean....What should I do about that?
2006-07-27 00:55:27 · 12 answers · asked by *~Callie~* 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Give him a little time, but if he continues to be upset by it, suggest counseling to him. Divorce is difficult for a child no matter what age. I had a friend who was 27 when her parents divorced. She was already married and had two children. It was very difficult for her too, and she was very angry. I think it made her feel like her life had been a facade and she had to rethink everything.
2006-07-27 00:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by ThatLady 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My parents got a divorce after 35 years. they had a big party then my mom filed for divorce what a waste of the party. but she was a pretty vain and petty woman..
I told my dad that he should go ahead with the divorce because the way she was treating him he didn't deserve and if they couldn't get along that they may as well be seperated from each other..
He apparently hasn't talked to either of them to find out why they are doing this.. And it is something that he is going to have to do to get over it.
He needs to ask them why and find out for himself that there is no other way that they can handle it.
As for him being mean and abusive verbally to you and your family he needs to go get help. You just becareful that he don't hurt you while he is in his tiff about his parents..
After 36 year i would say one of them was fooling around with someone else.. People go through that point where they think things are more exciting on the other side..
You may want to or have to go stay with your familly for a while if he can't get over this.. really dumb to take it out on you..tell him to go talk to them so he understands what is going on and to talk to both parents seperately..not while they are together. needs both versions of this divorce.
wish you good luck and hope he gets over this soon before he ruins your marriage too.
2006-07-27 01:12:03 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best u can do is to let him know that even tho others peoples lives are in caos doe'nt mean his needs to be as well. Let him know that you will always be there for him unless his behavior pushes you to divorce as well because he cant cope. The only person we have any control over is ourselves and must learn to accept the things we cannot change/ or like the tree in the strong wind instead of coming back to the center when the storm is over, we break. Good luck to you and I'm sorry about your pain.
2006-07-27 01:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by southforty1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it must be hard for everyone. There are many ways to prevent divorce. Even if divorce is the only way, there are many resources out there that can help you along the way. You may want to visit this website: filefordivorceonline.com
It covers the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of divorce. And like I said, there are ways to prevent divorce.
2006-07-28 19:52:07 · answer #4 · answered by ishistory 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should either not talk to him at all about it (everything you say will be wrong) or make him realize that his parents are real people with real needs and emotions. His suffering is probably more selfish than anything. Tell him to get over his self. His parents are not living for him and his "perfect world delusion". His life will continue to go on and if he keeps open lines of communication his marriage will not end up like that.
2006-07-27 01:06:31 · answer #5 · answered by onedone2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This divorce is not for him to be involved in and he needs to knock it off with the stressing and being mean. He needs to stay neutral, respect his parents decisions whether or not he agrees with them and just be there for his parents. Tell him that's what mature adults would do instead of making things harder on everyone than they have to be.
2006-07-27 01:13:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the guy has no heart and records for divorce when you're nonetheless grieving for the shortcoming of your mom, you're appropriate without him, hon. i'm also very sorry on your loss. I misplaced my mom a 12 months in the past. supply him the divorce, ask for spousal help. merely tell your little ones you do not comprehend it, yet giving you those divorce papers when you're nonetheless grieving is somewhat showing his low-down scum aspect. and also you need to get on with your existence, you'll. perchance you could merely flow in with your dad in case you choose to, or get your own position. yet for someone to attempt this, you do not choose to be round him besides. You deserve better. (((((hugs))))) merely carry your head up intense, and be satisfied you gained't have that scum round.
2016-11-26 02:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by peirson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be your self . if you sympathise with him you will make it worse. tell him everything will be ok , because it will. he is an adult and he can go and see his parents where ever they are .and i assume they can come to your home too .have mother over for tea one night and dad the next week . treat the inlaws the same as always . it's their decision to do what they are doing .you two are a family now so look after each other .
2006-07-27 01:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to him, let him vent. His parents have the right to leave each other after putting in 3 dozen years. Perhaps he's based his vision of "happily ever after" on their relationship, and maybe he's worried "if it happened to them, it could happen to me." Reassure him that you're there for him, and if he's still wigging out tell him he needs to get some couch time (therapy.) Tell his parents to talk to him about their decision. They had to be thinking about this for some time. Just don't baby or coddle him. He thinks he's losing his version of Mommy, and you sure don't want to become his new one. After awhile, he's gonna have to adjust, my God, he's an adult!
2006-07-27 01:21:40 · answer #9 · answered by amuse4you 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is better to do nothing than doing something wrong. leave him alone. men like it more than being treated like a child when upset
2006-07-27 01:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋