Trust or general concern?

Question

We live in a nice neighborhood except our next door neighbors rent and there is nothing wrong with that. The "woman" of the house does her front yard gardening in her bikini top. She is nothing to be jealous of but it just seems trashy to me and I am finding out a lot of the neighborhood.agrees with me on that (most are the women but honestly I would look better out there, yet I just wouldn't).

When they were moving in my hubby was saying we had drug people moving in next door and after seeing some randome 20 year olds I just thought it was kids...now I see it is a family let me just say " white trash" and my husband is talking to them saying he wants them to keep the neighborhood nice. I just wish he would not associtate. When she barely knew him, she was telling him that they were late on the rent....while wearing her bikini top which should only be worn around a water source or in her own backyard.

Am I crazy to ask him to distance himself from them?

She is the kind of woman who tries to sound stupid to make a man feel good. I have sat aside and listenend to her when she didn't know I could hear her.

Answer 1

Usually women do stuff like that when they are trying to "lure" someone elses husband or man away to them. I would bring up my concerns with my hubby and ask how he felt she came off as. I would tell him he truth, and your reasoning and then ask for his input.

Answer 2

Hmmmmm. Toughie. I'm inclined to tell you to trust your gut. If she thinks Edie from Desperate Housewives is cool or seems like a Jerry Springer show waiting to happen, then sit your husband down and let him know you are uncomfortable with his interaction with scantily clad female neighbours.

At least you know they are renting, which may mean this situation could be temporary. She also may be a sun worshipper who thinks she is killing two birds with one stone by baring all during yardtime, but let's face it, it's more likely she enjoys the attention.

It's really up to your husband to decide how he proceeds. Does he spend hours talking to her? Twenty minutes? Or is he just shouting "Good day" or "Nice weather, eh?"

Maybe you can make a deal where he just passes by when she's in the bikini, chats more when she's not. Really have a heart-to-heart with him and keep your cool. Don't accuse him of anything, or he'll be on the defensive. You have a just cause for concern, since infidelity seems to be everywhere these days, and you need to protect your marriage. He'll be more receptive if you are motivated by love and not anger.

Work on your self esteem. Jealousy can be a sign that there is some underlying dissatisfaction with yourself. Ask yourself why you feel threatened. Your husband married you for a reason, you know, and probebly isn't ready to throw it all away on some airhead, but your insecurity could turn him off you. Which is not what you want.

Really know what you want to say to him. Let him know how important he is to you. And pray for snow!

Good luck!