How do we love ourself?

Question

I wish I could love myself...Can somebody tell me how??

Answer 1

Don't put conditions on your love for yourself. It's easy to say "I hate myself because I am/have [insert negative quality]" and "If only I were like [insert positive quality], I'd be happy and love myself." The problem is that you will never be perfect, and even as you improve, your expectations for yourself will always stay out of reach.

It's a lot easier to say than do, but accept yourself as you are. Affirm yourself. That is, say to yourself, "I'm a good person." Say it out loud if you have to, even if you think it sounds weird. Make a list of your good qualities (at least 10) and read it to yourself every day. When you're down, it's easy to pretend that you don't have any good qualities, but you know that you do. Force yourself to look at them. And don't let yourself twist those good things into bad ones (I bet you know exactly what I mean, so I won't keep explaining).

These things aren't the only things to do, they're just a start. Loving and accepting yourself and feeling peace takes time; speaking from my own experience, it can be a hard painful journey. If you're feeling a lot of despair and have felt negatively about yourself for a while (this is a bit simplified, but a doctor will diagnose depression if a person has had persistent negative thoughts and feelings for two weeks), no answer you find here is going to change that.

See if any of this sounds familiar: Have you been feeling down for awhile? Have you had changes in your appetite or sleep pattern? Do you not feel like doing fun things or the things that you normally love? Do you always feel alone or ashamed or guilty for no reason? Have you ever thought about suicide?

If none of that sound familiar, then ignore what I'm saying. But if you have felt those things, do something about it. Do something now. Talk to your family. Talk to a doctor. I'm sure that there are people that care for you a lot, even if you feel like no one cares. It can be extremely hard to take that step, but I promise that if you do, you'll be on the path to loving yourself and being happy. You can figure out the best plan for you, be it a medication that helps balance the chemicals in your brain or meeting with a therapist that can help you see the negative thought patterns that you have and teach you how to change that.

Whatever you do, just don't wait. There's no reason to go on hating yourself and feeling miserable. You don't deserve it. Like I said: it can be really hard, but it really is possible to love yourself and find peace.

Sorry if I've over-answered the question. I've just felt the way that you feel before. I know what it's like to be there, and I know that life really can get better.

Answer 2

What's You Reason For You Not To Love Yourself?
Ask Yourself That
Then Slowly Tackle You Problem
You Will Soon Realise That
Hey You Love Yourself More Then Anythink Else
Take Care
Have Fun
Good Luck

Answer 3

1. By thinking about all of your good qualities and accomplishments. (it might also help to ask ur friends and family about this).
2. Acknowledging that there are some things that arent so great about you. The things that you can change or improve, go ahead and work on them...and the things you can't change, just accept them.
3. Any negative thoughts you have about yourself, try to think about why you think those things. Then try to prove them wrong and replace them with positive beliefs. (for example, i used to tell myself that I wasnt funny and that no one found me interesting..but i disproved that idea by reminding myself of how i've made my friends laugh in the past and how they wouldnt be hanging out with me if I wasnt interesting..so then i was able to replace the negative thought with a good one..i could tell myself that I was funny, maybe not to everyone, but to most of my friends).
4. Every day make a list of the things you did well..even the small stuff like making the table, or cleaning ur room so it looks neat.
5. Have some inspirational quotes nearby that you can read to urself every day to give u some confidence.
6. Writing in a journal can help because it allows you to know urself better.
7. Finally, i think listening to music that makes you feel good about urself also helps.

Answer 4

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.

Oscar Wilde.

It's a strange phenomenon how difficult people find it to love themselves. One would think it is the easiest thing in the world, because we're constantly concerned with ourselves. We're always interested in how much we can get, how well we can perform, how comfortable we can be. The Buddha mentioned in a discourse that "oneself is dearest to oneself." So with all that, why is it so difficult to actually love oneself?

Loving oneself certainly doesn't mean indulging oneself. Really loving is an attitude towards oneself that most people don't have, because they know quite a few things about themselves which are not desirable. Everybody has innumerable attitudes, reactions, likes and dislikes which they'd be better off without. Judgment is made and while one likes one's positive attitudes, one dislikes the others. With that comes suppression of those aspects of oneself that one is not pleased with. One doesn't want to know about them and doesn't acknowledge them. That's one way of dealing with oneself, which is detrimental to growth. Another unskillful way is to dislike that part of oneself which appears negative and every time it arises one blames oneself, which makes matters twice as bad as they were before. With that comes fear and very often aggression. If one wants to deal with oneself in a balanced way, it's not useful to pretend that the unpleasant part doesn't exist, those aggressive, irritable, sensual, conceited tendencies. If we pretend we are far from reality and put a split into ourselves. Even though such a person may be totally sane, the appearance given is that of not being quite real. We've all come across people like that, who are too sweet to be true, as a result of pretense and suppression. Blaming oneself doesn't work either. In both instances one transfers one's own reactions to other people. One blames others for their deficiencies, real or imagined, or one doesn't see them as ordinary human beings. Everyone lives in an unreal world, because it's ego-deluded, but this one is particularly unreal, because everything is considered either as perfectly wonderful or absolutely terrible.

Answer 5

My Mum always insisted that U must love URself if U "eat, drink & sleep".
But I understand U want 2 like who U R & not just go thru the motions everyday until U burst!
U're a clever person, trust me my hubby had 2 sort out my Avatar the onscreen instructions puzzled the hell outta me!
Clever people sometimes get the collywobbles, it'll pass.
2 love URself, give URself time 2 get 2 know URself.

Answer 6

This is going to sound like a paradox, but when I feel bad about myself, I find that if I can temporarily deflect that for a while, I am better able to come back to it and remember to treat myself kindly. So... I do something for someone else. Something little, simple- doesn't have to cost anything. Just focuses my energies elsewhere for a moment. Anyway- it seems to have worked so far.

Answer 7

For Looks: Dress well. Everyday. That way whenever you go out you'll feel confident about how you look. Pamper yourself. Buy new makeup and clothes regularly. Stand tall. Walk like you're confident and own the place. It'll show you off in turn making you look more attractive. Girls who slunk aren't sexy.
Don't think about your flaws. Hardest thing to do. When you start think about your flaws, turn on your favorite song (particularly one that makes you feel sexy) and forget about it.
Dancing helps.

For other stuff: Make a feel-good soundtrack. That music always makes you forget feeling bad about yourself. If its other ppl bringing you down, imagine showing them how wrong they are.

Answer 8

Close your eyes and go to a happy place. Then give yourself a big hug. Then you slowly reach down your pants and your give yourself all the lovin you can handle. Do this exercise about 3 to 10 times a day and you will feel all better.

Answer 9

Simply be good to yourself, like, taking care of your health, doing something that makes your feel good, accepting you-for who you are, but the best is, loving also the people around you. If you can do that, that means, you love yourself. Because you cannot give something that you do not have - Love.

Answer 10

Good question. I keep thinking I have to find somebody else to love me to love myself, but I know that is not the right answer.