So today was the my 6 year anniversary with my boyfriend...and I woke up at 5am got all dressed up, went to his favorite bagel place and bought him breakfast and then showed up at his place for an early breakfast in bed suprise. Then he went to work, while he was at work I tidied up his room and even dropped his roommate off at the airport. While he was at work, I also decorated the place to set a romantic mood, prepared a nice meal and even put his present on the bed with a very nice letter telling him how much I love him and care about him. Once he came home from work, he had a hot meal, gave me a hug and a kiss, opened his present and then we had sex of course....but when it came time for him to give me a present or something all he gave me was a card, which said that he loved me and that was it....and I am very upset. I did so much and all he gave me was a card...am I wrong for being upset?
2006-07-26 21:13:45 · 20 answers · asked by Strawberry 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 27 years old, I am 25, he has a nice cushy job and went to work from 9am to 12pm. We had average sex and he finished and didn't bother to do things I liked. I am not trying to be materialistic, its just that i think he could have done something more...I mean he didn't give me anything since our last anniversary, nothing for christmas, valentine's day or even my b-day. I was hoping today he would at least try to do something special...
2006-07-26 21:17:12 · update #1
I don't really want a present, but I did hope for something more than an average day...
2006-07-26 21:21:23 · update #2
I think you have every right to be upset, for him not putting in as much effort as you did, but you have no right to be upset over a present. Gift giving doesn't mean you love the guy, it just means you care about him enough to get him something he wants...and vice versa. Furthermore, have you taken a look at the past? What about all the nice things he does for you on a regular basis? I am sure the guy must take you out to eat to a restaurant, to the movies, to the mall, to places you want to go... if he does that through out the year then why are you upset? Is it because it's a special occasion? Keep in mind guys stink at remembering things like that, and guys are know to show their love for you differently,compared to how a woman shows love for a man.
For a man, showing love for a woman comes in different forms like a hug, a kiss, a back rub when your back hurts, allowing you to come over to his place and treat it like your own and guys sometime do nice things just because they love you, like watch a romantic movie with you or even kiss you in front of his friends..and etc. So, maybe you should reevaluate the situation and think of the past and all the nice things he has done and maybe let him slide for a change... and perhaps stop expecting so much from your man.
Also, presents don't express the love a man has for a woman, maybe you should look back to how he had sex with you? Did he focus on your needs as well as his? Did he try do something in bed that you like? Did he try to help you finish? If it was a wam bam thank you ma'am then, you have every right to be upset, but if he tried to fulfill your desires as well then maybe you are getting upset over something that's not a big deal.
I think you should take a look at the whole day and try to see all the things he might have tried to do for you and then see all the things you expected him to and compare the two..if your list of expectations is more than the things he did for you...then perhaps you were expecting too much of him and he is not a mind reader... and I think you can only be upset at yourself for expecting too much of a guy.
2006-07-27 11:13:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do people have anniversaries when they are not married?? i dont get it... You dont have anniversaries from when you met your friends do you??
Also you learnt a valuable lesson in present giving.. you should give the present in the hope it makes the other person happy, don't give out presents if you expect somenthing in return that's selfish and is not the point of giving a gift or doing something nice.. You should be greatful your guy remebered and got you a card.. guys really dont care about the anniversary thing, they dont think it's a big deal..(that's what valentines day is for) he was probably scratching his head wondering why you went went to so much effort!
2006-07-26 21:22:29 · answer #2 · answered by channille 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, its definitely a girl thing to do. Being a girl I know. We think about this stuff way too much.
You can be disappointed, of course, but he didn't ask or probably even expect you to do all the things you did. He also can't read your mind. Share with him in a calm way that you did some things out of your way today to make his day special and you felt disappointed that he didn't treat it as seriously. Then try to have a sense of humor about it and take the long view. If it is a lasting relationship then this is just a small bump in the road and you'll remember not to go to so much trouble next year.
2006-07-26 21:20:48 · answer #3 · answered by curiousfurious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
o.k. yes, it does hurt! you put all your mind and soul to it and all you get is is a card that says I LOVE YOU! well, think about it, he worked and maybe did not had time... but yet, ask your seld this question: does he ever do any thing nice, sweet, special, romantic on an ordinary day? a person dont realy have to get you things just because you have done it your self... but if he does not even try to do any of thos things on any other day than theirs a BIG problem and you 2 need to sit down and talk bout it!!!!!! you hae been for this person for the past 6yrs.no one else can know him better than you... maybe he needs to get away or maybe he does not know what else to do to make you happy.... have you tryed to do some thing he whats or make one of his fantasis come true???just a question?do some thing exiting and dont stay mad... by you being mad at him without him knowing whats bothering you and him not knowing whats going on in your head, you 2 will always have that conflict... so dont b mad get gald!!!! at least you know that he loves you!!!
2006-07-26 21:38:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him about your feelings!! That is so wrong--no presents for any occasion. That is like sick!! Is he a Jehovah Witness? If not, he is selfish and uncaring. I don't know it all, but from what you told me--you have been with him six years too long. Would you really ever marry someone who takes you for granted. Wow--a lot of other men would appreciate you. But if you want to work it out or find out how he feels--let him explain. Then see if he changes. Ship him out if he doesn't. I know--easier said than done. But remember to respect yourself or nobody else will.
2006-07-26 21:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you will not agree with this (I also hardly do) but my mom once told me loving is not about receiving something great from a person, or comparing what they gave you and what you gave them, it is just truly appreciating a person with all your heart and expecting nothing in return. For heaven sake, he is man, you are luck he even remembered to buy you the card. Just appreciate it and next time prep him early enough for the present you want.
2006-07-26 21:20:32 · answer #6 · answered by ngina 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends what you've done for your anniversary in the past. Did he usually do more? If so then I can understand why you're upset and I think he may owe you an explanation. However, I wouldn't be too angry with him if everything else in your relationship is going well. If not, then it may be a reason to talk about what you both can do to improve it.
2006-07-26 21:20:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
By now after writng all this and looking at it, you probably realize that you can answer your own question. But! As it has been 6 years, guys tend to get too comfortable and start to underappreciate their significant other! yes, you should be angry, but if youl ove him and it seems that you do you will stick by him regardless until you get up enough nerve to tell him how dissappointed you were on your anniversary..Keep in mind that after awhile marriage does seem to become routine and men are very well known to be "routine creatures". Good luck..
2006-07-26 21:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
After 6 years you should be aware of what he is like, or are you saying he has just turned into a heartless unfeeling skinflint. I suggest if you want material things, change models before you waste another 6 years.
2006-07-26 21:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by madge 51 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the real world. You actually got a card after 6 years. Telling you he loved you with a card was his way of being romantic. You can pout about it or accept it. But either way you may as well get used to it. That's just how men tend to be.
2006-07-26 21:17:12 · answer #10 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋