He slept with 25 people...he thinks?

Question

I asked my bf how many girls he's been with and he said 25 (he thinks) and I was shocked. He's 30 and it seems like a lot, to me anyways. And the whole "I think" kinda bothers me too, isn't that something you should know? Alot were one night stands and that kinda creeps me out too, I don't know how people can do that. After he told me I look at him differently and I'm finding it hard to have sex cuz I'm thinking about all the places his thing has been. Is 25 for someone who's 30 really that bad?

Answer 1

Just let him screw four bitches more and then you'd be the 30th!!!
Now, that sounds much more important than 26!!!

Answer 2

Okay, it's hard for a father to not be a father so you're just gonna have to bear with me on this one.
Having sex with multiple partners is not uncommon. Contrary to popular myth it's always been part of the "human condition".
"25 different partners, maybe" for a 30 year-old man is indicative of an individual who lacks control. It also indicates a few other character flaws, but that's a whole other topic. The five year difference between you and your bf is absolutely insignificant compared to the question that I think is most important for you. Which is, was the sex he claims to have had unprotected? If it wasn't and you're having unprotected sex with that person now, then you are having sex with all the people with whom he had previous unprotected sex.
I'm sorry, but that's the facts. Whether you believe it or not. There are more STDs than the AIDS virus and then there's HIV/AIDS.
If you're going to be with this guy at least protect yourself. Insist that he use a condom. Both of you get screened for all STDs and get a commitment from him, for what it's worth, that he not have sex with anyone else.
Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 3

Well you didn't say how old your boyfriend was when he started having sex. If he was 16 and is now 30 that's 25 partners over a 14 year span which doesn't seem too bad. But the main thing is to remember that the past-is past. What matters now is that he is with you. And in the future, if you don't think you can handle the answer to something, don't ask.

Answer 4

Nope not at all, it could be a lot worse. In the future don't ask questions you don't want the answers to. It's kind of ridiculous to hold things against him that he did before he knew you existed isn't it? How would you feel if he was holding your past against you? He's 30 so that means he's probably been having sex for 15 years, 365 days (and nights) in one year, thats 5475 nights and only 25 women, hec thats 5450 nights he wasn't picking up strange women...hope that gives you some perspective on things and if he got 25 he could've gotten a whole lot more. I was a bartender and I saw guys who did 25 women in a month, and it wasn't rare!

Answer 5

Well depending on when he first started having sex... do the math. Lets say he was 17yrs old when he first had sex. 30 - 17 = 13 so 25 divided by 13 = 1.92 per yr. That's about one every 6 months. Doesn't look so bad in writing but still seems a bit much.
Now if he was a virgin until he was say 25, that's just disgusting!!! So I suggest asking him when he first had sex and go from there.
Good Luck to you!

Answer 6

25 is nothing...really. I'm 33yrs and I've slept with over 150 women, and I even posted it here on this site for a good laugh (anonymity is great, eh?)....ooh you should have seen the skepticism!

And the 'about 25' thing may be because he really doesnt' remember. Why should we remember each one? I often don't even remember names....cue the embarrsing morning questions 'Did you remember my name'? Don't you ever get drunk?

Or maybe he has had more, and the 'about 25' is designed to lessen his 'real history'.

I only ONCE told a girlfriend how many I had, and she laughed out loud in shock. And she went on to tell me some of her secrets too (like being bi-sexual). Be we went on as normal...

Now that I'm in a relationship, my girlfriend insisted I had all my tests done, and maybe that is what you should insist of your partner. It will likely put your mind 'at ease' with him when having sex.

Hope this helps. And good luck.

Answer 7

Oh shame! I know how you are feeling. Its very sad but then the guy was honest.....he told this to you himself not from someone else....guess how many men out there who slept with a number of gals and would never tell. If you love the guy see a concillor who is gonna help you on how to settle or erase this in you. You can both go for a test eeh! Goodluck.

Answer 8

I think you shouldn't ask a question if you don't want to know the answer. Seriously most cute guys have been with a lot of women. I once asked this guy I dated how many he told me he stopped counting after 200 mind you I was running for the hills at his comment.

Answer 9

I am 30 also. 25 is a modest (sounding) number. That's lie, er, number I claim. Environmentally speaking, I am a product of my environment. My WIFE has never asked me how many women I've slept with prior to her. I don't think she wants to drop dead of a heart attack. No, seriously, she knows the past is the past. We are the here and now. Why anger yourself with FACTs. you couldn't change his past whether he downplayed his number as to not upset you. Or beefed his number up so as to sound studly. Or, just played stupid not trying to hurt or upset you. You should worry only if that number is going up during your relationship.

Answer 10

You don't need to know how many women he has slept with because in your eyes anybody other than you is one too many. Don't play that game with him. If you are so concerned get tested and move on you knew he wasn't a virgin before you met him. You can't judge him by that anyway.

Answer 11

You did ask for an STD/HIV test right? That sounds like a lot to me, but women think differently about sex. Unfortunately you did ask the question, so you must have wanted an answer. Were you looking for a reason to cut him loose? Think about it.