I don't get asked out by guys my age! Is there something wrong with me?!?

Question

I am a 17 year old girl and I always get approached by much older men or psychos (threatening to stalk me) anyways...what is wrong with me? I have always been known as the nice, Christian girl with good morals and who is always friendly but shy around those I don't know very well but I laugh a lot smile a lot. My guy friends tell me I am beautiful, which I know isn't true, but I know they think of me more as a sister. I like to do well in school and I really don't enjoy the crazy party scene and I would rather hang out with my friends than drink a lot. There have been opportunities I have had with guys, but I wasn't for sure if they liked me and I was too afraid of rejection so I just let things go. I just get so tired of people asking if I have a boyfriend and then asking why I don't have one, like I have to explain myself. Then I feel that something is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with me? Thanks so much for any advice and God bless!! :)

Answer 1

There's not a thing wrong with you. You are growing through what most other teenagers go through. You're shyness is working to protect you. When it's important enough to change that, trust that you will. Remember, males are also afraid of being rejected so you might be blocking them from trying to ask you out because you are shy.

I suspect you're shy because you're insecure. If people tell you that you're pretty or beautiful, don't ever doubt them! You don't have to go to bed with them or anything but you should just say, "Thank you," and leave it at that. That's how a mature person answers a compliment. That's how people with good self-esteem take a compliment. Most people won't just say anything so that you will like them (although there are some people that do this). So don't belittle their tastes, if they think you're attractive and want to tell you, just say thanks!

So what I'm getting to is that being shy keeps men away because you're not looking them in the eyes. I have a gorgeous friend who I can tell is being checked out constantly but because she's shy, she doesn't even see this! Don't waste your life like that. I was extremely shy and had low self-esteem at your age. I got involved in community theater and then studied it in college for a while. While I didn't make a career of it, I learned how to get over my shyness. So you could try that, even if, like i did, you just work backstage.

A tip for when you are dating, don't listen to what men say, but watch what their actions say. It is in their actions that men tell the truth. When a man is saying everything you want to hear you need to shut up and watch if he actually follows through.

Good luck to you and have fun dating, you don't have to rush to get to a wedding or to have sex. Kissing is so much fun, make that stage last as long as you can. Enjoy!

Answer 2

Nothing is wrong, and dont go with older guys, because the fact that they want to be with you instead of someone thier age is because they are loosers. Drinking is used to fill a void or used as an excuse to act stupid. it seems like you have friends and are doing well in school so you dont need those bad things like beer and older guys. And about the boyfriend thingy, dont get one. Enjoys your school, have alot of friends and if you kiss a guy thats cool, dont make him your boyfriend. Im not saying be slutty but if you are both in agreeance and want to kiss do it. Also most people are not ugly. There are exceptions. The point is that beauty is relative alwasy, it depends on how you look at it. Some people say beauty is whatever hollywood says it is. Dont belive that, beauty in someone depends on the energy you give, do you smile alot, are you friendly, smart, are you confident. thats pretty much it and you sound like a normal gurl.

There is one problem though. It appears that you use the word christian and God bless. This could be a real turn off for alot of people. You see any type of fanaticism about anything is looked at as uncool. trying to convert people and be all christian is not cool, and either is christian music. Its not about spreading the word, because if it was the CD's would be free, but they are not are they. You need to make sure you are not brain washed in these "christian churches" that pass the collection basket 3 times a sevice, 3 times a week. Salvation is just about being a good person, not about being oppressed by rules like all this is evil, and everyone who is not a christian is going to hell, and lets cry even thou we are not sad or happy, just because everyone else is doing it.

Answer 3

Nope, it's perfectly normal to feel that way. Some teenagers can often appear to be older than they really are, and girls mature much faster than boys. You have a lot of life ahead of you. There's no reason to rush into anything anytime soon. Keep your distance from the older ones who "should" know better than to mess with your emotions. You shouldn't have to confront that kind of problem at such a young age.

Obviously if a strong, lasting relationship plays out in the near future, take advantage of it. At the same time, don't spend so much time being preoccupied with trying to find it. It will come at the moment you least expect it to..

Answer 4

I can see from your words that you are a serious person-someone I would like to know personally-anyway,may be that there's nothing wrong with you but the problem is with the persons that unfortunately come across your way.But as a christian girl you surely know that God will choose the right person for you if you ask Him to do so.And may be that's what He is doing by keeping away these young teens who will surely use you just to satisfy their huge sexual appetite.Trust in God for He surely knows what is good for you.

Answer 5

ok it sounds llike ur prettty much fed up with guys. But i think if a bunch of guys are interested, u probably are attractive. I say just have fun doin what u want to do, there's nothing wrong with that. Everybody falls a few times before they learn ride a bike right? Live life as is comes, then learn from it. that's usually how it works

Answer 6

well i can relate to u it seems like we have i lot in common. I say there is nothing wrong with u it's just that this is what god had in his plans 4 u and when the time is right u will meet that special one that will like u 4 u and u guys will have something special together so good luck with eveyrything u do and GOD BLESS

Answer 7

You are wise not to choose a boyfriend while you are so young. Though it may not seem so, you have MANY years to search out a life's mate. For now, be content to have friends by being a friend. I encourage you to ignore advances made by older men. If they find someone as young as you attractive and act on that attraction, you do not want them in your life. Trust me on this. Find friends with whom you can enjoy a casual evening out - a sports event, a movie, pizza or ice cream, even coffee and conversation. As for folks who ask you why you don't have a boyfriend...I have always liked this answer: I'll forgive you for asking if you'll forgive me for not answering.

Answer 8

Necessarily, nothing is wrong with you. You NEED to be accepted for the RIGHT reasons, and i applaud you for this! Focus on school and your education and remember "it doesnt matter in the end what people think"; boys, men, they can be perverts and one thing is on their minds, especially older ones. its how confident you are about YOU. It took me til age 32 to find that out.I am in school now to pursue what i shouldve pursued then. Good luck.

Answer 9

the actual incontrovertible reality that you again and again aspect out a choose to modify your father, speaks to itself. That aside, being in fact eco-friendly with adult males, do you imagine it is somewhat this guy you've an interest in, or is it better about the interest he can grant? each and every in certain situations at the same time as someone is so flattering, boosts our ego, and all of us recognize they look a optimistic element, we experience better optimistic and delicate, yet that ought to no longer be perplexed with being surely fascinated in them, no longer to educate have thoughts for them. even if it may no longer experience like a better secure wager, why no longer attempt casually courting (which includes adult males out of your age crew) previously you verify to "belong to someone". In my own opinion and adventure, that is significantly better major to "belong" to your self and somewhat come into your own previously you get heavily in contact with someone. this way you actually have something to provide and are not merely a warm-mess, artwork-in-progression, no-genuine-id-yet-plenty-of-themes variety of individual.

Answer 10

No dear, i am a good looking guy but i am also dont have any gf.i also feel very bad when my friends are asking me about my gf. i just smile at that time.