I've been seeing this guy off and on for a couple years now. We have great sex but he refuses to go down on me, which isnt good because it's my favorite thing. He says he doesnt like to do it because he was abused when he was a kid, but I find it hard to beleive that that is the reason. I just think he is scared and may not know what he is doing. He is in his late twenties, he's not a kid, what is his problem?
2006-07-26 19:20:55 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Clearly he is uncomfortable down there. You can slowly work on this. Take any progress as a success, even if it is just for a minute. Give him plenty of positive reinforcement and plenty of verbal instruction. Guys didn't receive the user's manual so many truly don't know what to do but nearly all appreciate gently instructions.
"try this ___"
"OMG, that's incredible!"
stuff like that.
2006-07-26 19:23:46 · answer #1 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some girls don't like going down on guys, some guys don't like going down on girls. Why? Many reasons. If you were a guy asking this question and you said your girl won't go down on you because she was abused as a child, what do you think people would say about you? They'd call you insensitive. What makes you think you aren't insensitive?
Some people don't like the smell or taste of someone else's junk. Maybe he doesn't feel like working that hard. Maybe it's not any fun for him.
2006-07-27 02:26:35 · answer #2 · answered by practical thinking 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like BS to me... I was abused sexual as a kid and it hasn't stopped me from liking sex... The only thing I have problems with is how I hold kids I'm always afraid that I may accidentally grab them the wrong way when I pick them up and am sometimes afraid to hold them... But I still go down on my guy... Maybe he just doesn't like it... but you should tell him it has to be fair, he's not going to get any mouth oh his unless his mouth gos on yours... it's all got to be fair...
2006-07-27 02:26:14 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Somewhere he might have got the impression that it is dirty/unclean or he feels embarrassed. It has to be a psychological reason and only he really knows. Could it be the on and off part and that you were with other men in between? Bottom line is only he can tell you the reason.
2006-07-27 02:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he really was abused.
But that sounds unlikely.
I'd feel guilty if I'm wrong but, if he's okay with doing all the other sexual stuff, particularly letting you go down on him...that's awfully fishy. I would think if he was abused all sexual stuff would scare him, not just going down on you.
I know a lot of guys who don't want to go down on a girl, but expect them to go down on them,
which is NOT fair.
Tell him this, you won't go down on him, if he won't go down on you.
If he is bothered and uses his past as an excuse, tell him you're sorry but the situation makes you feel "uncomfortable".
Then see how that goes.
2006-07-27 02:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by Fanny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i finally got naked with my first girl the first thing i wanted to do was to kiss "down there" and i stayed there for a long time enjoying the taste and smell before i gave up my virginity. i was 13. if your guy is almost 30 then give it up. he doesn't want to. either learn to live without , get a new bf or get a gf on the side.
2006-07-27 02:29:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol he has a fear of kids? I don't know most guys would love to do this. Is there anything your not telling us? So you have had sex like oral and stuff. So you saw each others things right so hes not scared about being small or anything. I bet it might have something to do with not being able to pleasure you or something like that.
Good luck.
2006-07-27 02:24:27 · answer #7 · answered by SummerRain Girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel ya sistah! My man only occaisonally gives my sweet center any lovin. I think at first he was afraid to do it. We bought books on techniques, stuff like that. He get's better every time, except, I need more "times!" I love my man too much to let my poon get in the way. But, since you guys aren't completely serious, you may consider another guy. One who loves you, ALL of you! ;)
2006-07-27 02:32:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is right in refusing to go down on you, Ever heard of AIDS, Syphillis or Gonorreah?
God has meant sex for procreation and it has a proper posture and its own do's and dont's,
Even you shoudnt be going down,
Live Clean,
2006-07-27 02:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
God have fixed the time and person who can enjoy with, if u r steps is wrong against Him it assure u will be punished , leave the past and fix ur steps possitive have a nice life
2006-07-27 02:26:52 · answer #10 · answered by sahfj a 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋